Saturday, August 24, 2013

I Can't Watch Anymore Reality TV

Even I'm ready for football season.
On a recent night devoid of good TV shows (like most), we absentmindedly flicked through the range of reality shows. Oh, I could feel my brain cells oozing out of my ears. My daughter dubbed it our mindless-TV tour.
WWE Divas - I didn't understand who the women were or what they did. Were they the girls who hold up the signs between rounds (do they even do that anymore?), were they the actual wrestlers (who knew?), or were they some kind of hangers-ons. Maybe they were the "popcorn hoes", whatever that means. Wait, no that was the other show. That was the one with the dysfunctional couples where the guy didn't have a straight answer to the question, "are you and her (whatever her name was) engaged to be married?" Since his other woman was sitting on the other couch and he just laughed and said they were fine the way the were, I - and any other woman with any sense - would take that as a "no." But the fiancee in question continued to sit there and smile.
I used to really like cooking shows because I really do like to cook. And I used to like Chopped because it was creative in a different way. But I can only watch them take cactus leaves and make them into ice cream so many times.  When in doubt, fry it seems to be the theme, and I can do that on my own.
I finally watched Honey BooBoo for the first time ever. I know, am I the last person on earth? Why was the show sub-titled, I wondered at first, then realized why. Wow. That's all I can say.
There was a tattoo show, one of those elimination shows. Whoever's the worst tattoo-artist gets kicked off. I felt bad for the human canvases as the judges critiqued the tattoos, especially of the kicked off artist. And how did I get sucked into this show? I don't even have a tattoo!  But really, it was maybe one of the most interesting of the "mindless TV tour."
I've been done with housewives and celebrity reality shows. The "wives" are rarely married and I can never identify the "celebrity" who is usually famous from their role on another reality show.  I don't care about their lives. I don't want to watch them fight over who called who a name or didn't invite them to the party. I've got a middle schooler and a high-schooler for that kind of madness.
Coincidentally, I read a statistic recently that said only 6% of rich people watch reality shows. And I bet the majority of that 6% is watching themselves. So with that in mind, I'm not watching anymore reality shows 'til I'm starring in one. And hopefully I won't be fighting or need sub-titles.  Maybe, I'll get a tattoo.

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