Many situations in life are what we call “teachable
moments.” They may be times when someone
did really well, but sometimes (usually) the best lessons are from when
something has gone wrong.
In the past week, there was one celebrity who tried to steal the internet spotlight by baring her a$$ on a magazine cover and everything else on the inside pages (although online, cover and inside pages don’t really matter, so we got a glimpse of it all, but anyway...) Then, another who quietly donned a white jumpsuit and cape, had her husband-to-be suit up in white, and rode two white bikes to their wedding – and the pictures took the internet by a tidal wave. Teachable moments.
So what can we teach our daughters from these two examples
of womanhood?
Overt, aggressive, look-at-me, love-me self-promotion
doesn’t always work out so well. People
don’t like being forced to look at you and give you compliments. Have you noticed whenever a person or even
business entity attempts the “make a meme of me” campaign, it usually
backfires? A haughty “break the internet” push actually comes off as a little
too much self-absorption, and while the buzz may be out there, it’s not
necessarily good. I haven’t heard anyone say “wow, I was so happy that while I
was drinking my coffee this morning, sliding through Twitter, her a$$ popped up
on my screen.” (Yeah, I know some thought that, but I’m talking about the rest
of us.) Same when girls are strutting around in dresses tighter then their
underwear and just as short or posting 100 selfies a day. Lesson: stop begging for compliments and
attention; it’s not a good look.
People like genuine-ness.
As much as we thrill in the drama of “reality” lives, in our hearts, we
want to see for-real real, true love and friendship (or at least the image of
it.) So when photos of Solange’s wedding
in white popped on the screen, there was a big collective “awwww, how
lovely!” Here was a celebrity who got
married like a person with some sense who was focused on her own happiness, not
“likes” and RT’s. There were no secret,
teasing peek photos at the wedding by the paparazzi hiding in bushes (the cute
video of her and her son dancing looks like a friend took it on their phone) or
month-long live E! coverage of the preparations. I’m not naïve enough to think that there
wasn’t a little bit of publicity planning involved in all of this, but the
feeling was genuine and natural.
Sometimes we like things not being crazy over the top. Lesson: We like that natural, real you better
than the made-for-TV version.
In the real world, where the rest of us live, “breaking the
internet” is not a real, tangible goal.
Sure, people like having a bunch of followers and friends, there’s a
jolt of cyber-pride when you get some “likes” for a photo or status post. Heck,
that’s what we bloggers live for – a share, a tweet, a comment. But all that
amounts to very little in your quest to be a real, good, happy person. Lesson: please, please don’t base your
self-worth on electronic clicks, but instead on warm, live hugs and smiles.
And a few more quick ones:
Lesson: How you start is how you will continue.
Lesson: Pick your husband and life partner wisely.
Lesson: Have more to offer the world than what’s physical.
And one more:
Don’t overstay your welcome.
If you somehow slipped into the party through the backdoor and folks
tolerated you to stay – enjoy yourself, grab a drink, dance a little bit, don’t
be a nuisance, and realize when it’s time for you to go. Take your goodie bag, thank your host, and
move on.
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