Sorry, Financing Your Hair Weave is a Bad Idea

Let’s talk about how going into debt to finance hair is a bad idea. Financially and psychologically.

Paying interest and finance charges to pay for a weave is not a wise financial decision.  Can we agree upon that? Probably not, or else the Weave Loan Store wouldn’t exist. (Google it, I’m not providing a link to such non-sense.)  And – surprise – bad credit will not hold you back from borrowing money to put on your head.  Why is this a bad idea? Let’s consider this: you don’t have the $250, $500, $750, $1000 or whatever amount for a weave, so you go borrow it at some not defined until you follow all the links and phone calls interest rate and finance charges. You put this borrowed hair onto your head. And then start paying for it. I’ve never had a weave, but from talking with folks who are pretty much experts, it’s advisable that one come back in 4-6 weeks, for a touch up or a whole new do.  And how you going to pay for this one?  Do we see a cycle starting here? Am I the only one seeing folks losing their rent or mortgage and cars (also on borrowed terms) and cutting short their grocery list, so they can have swinging hair down their backs?

Okay. Let’s say you declare that going into a credit downward spiral is one’s right and prerogative. Can we talk about the line in the ad that says “you can afford to be beautiful”?  Where is India Arie when we need her?  Of course, this is not the first notion that one needs someone else’s hair attached to your own to make you beautiful, or the hair weave industry wouldn’t even exist. But now “you can afford to be beautiful”?  What does this say? You can choose to not go into debt and stay ugly? The only way you can be beautiful is to borrow some money and some hair? You’re natural self just ain’t enough.

I will admit this – I used to be ignorant of this whole weave business and did not realize how many women were wearing weaves.  Then I happened to talk to a hairdresser who explained it all to me and – wow! Wasn’t I surprised as she pointed out (Black) women with weaves as they walked by.  I was about as surprised when one of my (White) friends admitted that not only was she not a natural blond, but many (dare I say, most?) blondes weren’t. Gasp!  This altered hair thing was universal.

And full disclosure – I used to have long hair.  Not weave-hitting my butt-long, but long. Some would still regard my hair as long, but I don’t.  I like long hair and long for my once-long hair.  I get it.  Yes, my vanity does include having hair that hits my shoulders. I get it.  But I also get this – I don’t have to have long hair to be beautiful, though that is my preference and quite truthfully, I do have to remind myself of that sometimes.  And I’m trying to share the same message with my three daughters with three lengths and textures of hair.  And I know, there are some women who have medical baldness or their genes just don’t grow their hair long and they don’t want their hair short. I get that. We can go on about all the media-induced ideals that make women want long, blond hair swinging to their butt. And then we can pretend how we aren’t influenced at all by that, but need weaves because it’s easier to manage or better for when we work out. Okay.  All this goes into our hair psyche. I know – our hair and what we do with it - for whatever pyscological, sociological, anthropological and cosmetic reasons – can be complicated.

Lupita Nyongo - in her short hair gloriousness

But, for the sake of argument, can we also point out how many beautiful women have the short pixie cuts or short afros?  How many are bald?  As much as folks ooh-ahh over Beyonce and her long blond tresses, how many are fawning over the beautiful, short natural afro’d Lopita? 

Here’s the bottom line, the thing that really bothers me about this “you can afford to be beautiful” line. There is so much self-esteem tearing down, natural beauty defying, under current of self-hatred, buying into of what beautiful should look like, financial misguidance, and awful communal peer pressure packed into that one statement.

Maybe you have a weave or have talked yourself into getting a weave. And you may have a really good reason for it – personal vanity, personal preference, medical reasons - you really don’t have to justify it to me. But can we agree on these two things?

• You don’t have to have long, flowing hair to be beautiful. And I admitted, I’m working on this one too.
• Financing hair to sew onto your head is a bad financial decision. I’m not wavering on that one.

In the meantime, enjoy some India Arie.

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Can I Touch Your Hair?

This past weekend, there was a live art exhibit entitled "You Can Touch My Hair," organized by Antonia Opiah, of un-ruly.com. It's sparked some debate in the past few days, which, quite honestly, has gotten me debating with myself about my thoughts.

The exhibit consisted of three African-American women with different hair styles and textures standing on a NYC street corner with signs that read "You can touch my hair."  And folks did!  Complete strangers just walked up to them and stroked and fingered their locks. (See the video) Sooo... is that weird? Odd? Okay? Offensive? Being culturally aware or insensitive?  I'm still coming to a conclusion.

The idea of it being an "exhibit" kinda doesn't set right with me and it's hard to put a finger on the reason why. But I think it, to me, seems to be comparable to a petting zoo. I take my kids to the National Zoo and there's a section where there are farm animals that you can touch and poke (okay, you aren't supposed to poke them) and the kids always ooh! and ahh! and hmmm! as they rub their hands over the cows and goats and sheep, fascinated by the feel and texture of the fur on the animals. And this "touch my hair" thing seems akin to that.  *The concept of the touching, not equating the women AT ALL to the animals (I know folks can get things twisted).

You can touch this hair since it doesn't belong to anyone right now.  (J. Flair Hair)

That said, I admit, I am one of those people who is very curious about people's hair and how they maintain and style it.  I ask folks what they put in their curly curls to keep them shiny and moist. I will inquire what's the right flat iron to get natural hair bone straight. I can't resist a baby's head of curls and I have been known to run my hands over a friend's locks. Recently, in fact, on two different occasions, I did ask a couple of women all kinds of hair questions.

When I went to get my hair done (a rare occurrence for me), the make-up artist in the salon had these long beautiful dreadlocks. As the subject was hair, we started talking about maintaining different styles and I did ask her a bunch of questions about her locks.  How long did it take to grow them to their current length, how does she wash them, how or if she would ever take them out. I'm always curious about locks because it's a style that I will never have; I don't think my hair will hold.

On another day, I met Jennifer from J. Flair Hair (Philadelphia) at her vendor booth at an event, with her weave products on the table, so this I took as the perfect opportunity to ask every question I had about weaves. Where'd the hair come from, how one selected a hair type, how did it get sewn in, how long did it last, how did you wash and style it. And she gave me the most complete, best answers, so much so that I was contemplating sitting right down in front of her and getting a weave myself. Every question I could think of, I asked her. But that was her business, that's what she did for a living. I wouldn't have just walked up to her and asked her if she had a weave and could I touch her hair.

Jennifer - yes, she has a weave and can sew one in for you, too!

So, yes, I am one of those people curious about people's hair.  Partly because my hair is kinda boring, to me, at least. It's a wavy mixed grade that poofs at the hint of 2% humidity, doesn't hold a style, and is usually in a ponytail or a messy bun.  Curiosity about anything different from what we are used to is natural. But when it comes to people, we've got to be careful that acting upon that curiosity doesn't cross the line into making people into a "thing" to be experienced, observed, and studied. And yes, where that line is is different for each individual.  Where is it for you? Would you have let people come touch your hair? Or would you have touched their hair?

I didn't see the exhibit, nor have I spoken with Ms. Opiah, but you can read more on how she came up with the idea for this exhibit in her own words.