This is what comes through my ears when other parents go on
about the wide latitude they allow their children and the relatively narrow one
that I give mine. Sleepovers? Riding public transportation? Staying out until
late late past midnight? Going to parties where no-one’s sure the host’s
parents are home? Might as well just set
them free in the wild lands and roaming plains with the coyotes and
rattlesnakes.
As parents, we all have our limits of what we think is age
appropriate for our children and what we want them to experience and be exposed
to. That’s one of the fundamental rights of being a parent – you get to make choices
for another person. For eighteen years, you are the legislative, judicial, and
executive decision maker.
But, I guess it’s human nature to try to change other
people’s mind to the way you’re thinking. I mean, there’s how many college
majors and professions based primarily on the ability to do this successfully?
If you want your kid to spend the night at other people’s
houses from the time they can find their way to the bathroom, go right on
ahead. Your choice. It’s just not
mine. They need to what – learn how to
sleep somewhere else? Brush their teeth without being told? Be independent?
What other reasons are stuffed into sleeping bags each weekend? In the grand
scheme of life, I figure they’ll get this when it’s time. For now, they sleep
in the bed in this house. For variety, they can even camp out in their
sibling’s room if they want.
Since my oldest entered high school, folks have been trying
to get me to put her on the public bus. Admittedly, this would be more
convenient for me, as I make my daily trek to get her from sports practice.
But, for right now, its not so bad and its part of my duty as a parent – make
sure my kid gets home safely. We’ve
talked about figuring out the bus route for that day when I just can’t make it
and we’ve run out of plan B and C, so I’m not against the bus thing. It just
hasn’t become a necessity, yet.
But again – the parental reasons why – she needs to be
street-smart, she need to be independent, she needs to know the bus system. Isn’t that a parent’s choice of what they want
for their kid? As a teen-ager, I learned
to catch the bus because that’s how I got to and from my job, when my parents
weren’t home. And my kids have ridden the Metro, subways, buses, trains, cabs, and ferries in a bunch of different cities. I get it, I’m not anti-public transportation. I just don’t think this means I need to throw
my 9-year old on the Metro and say “find your way home” to get her ready for
the world, even if there are kids younger doing the same in cities all across
the country. I do draw the line at
putting my kid in a cab by herself, though. Nope, not gonna happen. You can
give me a list of reasons why, stats about safe driving, etc. etc. Nope.
And parties without parents in the house? Whatever.
All this chit-chat about all the freedoms kids should enjoy?
It’s like letting a little rabbit free to roam across the plains. I can see the
wolf hiding behind the cactus.
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