This spring, my mailbox was full of high school graduation
notices and now the Facebook farewell and off to college posts have begun. And mine are not too far off (I’m still
trying to wrap my brain around my oldest starting her junior year in high
school in a few days.)
While the kids are unpacking and the parents writing checks
and shedding tears, here’s my advice as they head off on into those hallowed
halls of education. I’m posting 11 points, in no particular order, but I’m sure I’ll think of 25 more afterwards,
but it’s a start.
Watch out for the “freshman 15”. It’s real. It’s not even
that campus food is so great that you eat mega-proportions. It’s that there is
food available all the time. Either in unlimited amounts because you are on
some kind of 24-7 meal plan or you pay in these invisible points that seem to
magically replenish themselves on your dining card (thank your parents.) So you
end up eating a sundae every night. And by winter break, none of your clothes
fit. And when you look in the mirror, those baby fat cheeks are back. Eat with
some sense, walk to class, go to the gym.
Be aware of your surroundings and who surrounds you. This is
particularly for the girls, but an equally good message for the boys. I
remember so many “she was drunk” and “she left without her friends” stories
ending badly. No, this isn’t about blaming the victim – but you really
need to do your best to not put yourself in questionable situations. So, I’m going
to go out on a limb and say, yes, in college you might have a few alcoholic
beverages. That doesn’t mean you have to be the girl who guzzles the whole
keg or does a dozen shots of vodka faster than any of the guys (same applies to the boys.) It won’t be pretty,
at best. Be careful and mindful, always.
Use your electives to explore that thing you really want to
learn. You’re going to have to take a
gazillion required credits, make your elective something fun, something that
stretches you a little bit in a different direction. I took Ice Skating as one
of mine, as well as literature. This is
where you learn to love learning. It will also give you a break from your
regular thinking.
Be open to a “stranger” as a roommate. Back in the olden
days, you found out who your roommate was sometime mid-summer and then you
could write them a letter or call them to introduce yourself and figure out who
was bringing the fridge. But you were pretty much stuck with that person. My
niece is heading off to college and has already talked to her roommate,
friended her on Facebook, knows all about the girl and even has the option to
switch to a different stranger. My
sophomore roommate was a girl I didn't know, was a different religion and I was a bit nervous how that
would work out. Though it took her all of fall semester to convince me that
pepperoni was pork, we grew to be great friends. Take a chance, embrace a new potential
friend.
Join something. A sports team, the choir, glee club, student
government, cultural club, something tied to your major, sorority or fraternity
– there’s so many choices on any college campus. Embrace one of your passions or try out
something absolutely new. You’ll meet
more people, have a wider range of experiences, and continue to grow. Some of them will turn into life time
commitments (I just celebrated twenty-six year membership in my sorority) or at
least a great cache of memories.
Study abroad. Travel and exploring new lands and places is
such a wonderful experience. If you can’t afford it, because it can be more
than your regular tuition, check with the financial aid office or someone in
your college and ask about scholarships or financial aid. Some colleges also
offer study elsewhere in the U.S., so if you’re in school in New York, you can
spend a semester in California instead – that counts, too! I never did this,
it’s one of my biggest college regrets, and one I hope to be able to afford for
my kids.
Get a job. No, really, get a job. Then open a bank account. College is expensive, even if you are on
financial aid or scholarship, there are still more expenses. Show your parents that you’re making some
efforts to cover that bottom line. Learn to be employable and to manage your
money and to file taxes while you can still do the 1-page EZ form. Ask around on campus or somewhere
nearby. A few hours a week, something manageable. And won’t you feel so good to
have that check you earned yourself?
Don’t make excuses. I
have several professor friends and one of the most common themes of professor
stories is along the “student came to me at the semester’s end, questioning why
he was failing” line. What should they
have done? Read the syllabus, marked those key due dates on their calendar,
gone to office hours, asked for help before they walked into the final exam
room, not depended on their cute dimples to get them through the class. Do the work, remember why you are in college,
seek help when you need it, not after the grades are due.
Call your mother. She misses you, she worries about you.
Don’t just send a text before you run to the party. She wants to hear your
voice, make sure that you sound okay. Trust me. Even now, my mom doesn’t text, so I have
to call her. And when I’m away, I can text my kids, but its still much better
when I talk to them. Hearing that special voice is different than characters on a screen. So call your mom. And your dad, too. They are paying the
phone bill, afterall.
Make a good impression, the first time. You only get one
chance to make that first impression, you’ve heard that a bunch of times by
now. Keep it in mind. Don’t make people
remember you because you were the boy who wears his five-sizes too big pants
backwards or the girl who curses everyone out, the boy who is always the
drunkest at the parties or the girl that all the guys know. Be the kid who
always has a joke, the one who is the great dancer, the student who always sits
up front, even the kid who wears the best hats. Be the smartest in the class,
that doesn’t hurt, either. But make it
good. I know, that sounds corny, but it will serve you better in the long-term.
Enjoy these four (or more) years. There will be a lot of emphasis on preparing
for the career and life to come, being the super serious adult prepared for the
world. Admittedly, there’s some of that in this very list. But while in college,
you will have to be in class maybe 3 hours a day (if you plan your classes
right), be surrounded by hundreds or thousands of folks your own age, young
enough to learn anything and with a world of possibilities still open to you. Enjoy
it all while you can.
Finished college and have some advice? Feel free to add anything I’ve forgotten in the comments.
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