11 Tips For the College Freshmen

This spring, my mailbox was full of high school graduation notices and now the Facebook farewell and off to college posts have begun.  And mine are not too far off (I’m still trying to wrap my brain around my oldest starting her junior year in high school in a few days.)

While the kids are unpacking and the parents writing checks and shedding tears, here’s my advice as they head off on into those hallowed halls of education.  I’m posting 11 points, in no particular order, but I’m sure I’ll think of 25 more afterwards, but it’s a start.

Watch out for the “freshman 15”. It’s real. It’s not even that campus food is so great that you eat mega-proportions. It’s that there is food available all the time. Either in unlimited amounts because you are on some kind of 24-7 meal plan or you pay in these invisible points that seem to magically replenish themselves on your dining card (thank your parents.) So you end up eating a sundae every night. And by winter break, none of your clothes fit. And when you look in the mirror, those baby fat cheeks are back. Eat with some sense, walk to class, go to the gym.

Be aware of your surroundings and who surrounds you. This is particularly for the girls, but an equally good message for the boys. I remember so many “she was drunk” and “she left without her friends” stories ending badly. No, this isn’t about blaming the victim – but you really need to do your best to not put yourself in questionable situations. So, I’m going to go out on a limb and say, yes, in college you might have a few alcoholic beverages. That doesn’t mean you have to be the girl who guzzles the whole keg or does a dozen shots of vodka faster than any of the guys (same applies to the boys.)  It won’t be pretty, at best. Be careful and mindful, always.

Use your electives to explore that thing you really want to learn.  You’re going to have to take a gazillion required credits, make your elective something fun, something that stretches you a little bit in a different direction. I took Ice Skating as one of mine, as well as literature.  This is where you learn to love learning. It will also give you a break from your regular thinking.

Be open to a “stranger” as a roommate. Back in the olden days, you found out who your roommate was sometime mid-summer and then you could write them a letter or call them to introduce yourself and figure out who was bringing the fridge. But you were pretty much stuck with that person. My niece is heading off to college and has already talked to her roommate, friended her on Facebook, knows all about the girl and even has the option to switch to a different stranger.  My sophomore roommate was a girl I didn't know, was a different religion and I was a bit nervous how that would work out. Though it took her all of fall semester to convince me that pepperoni was pork, we grew to be great friends.  Take a chance, embrace a new potential friend.

Join something. A sports team, the choir, glee club, student government, cultural club, something tied to your major, sorority or fraternity – there’s so many choices on any college campus.  Embrace one of your passions or try out something absolutely new.  You’ll meet more people, have a wider range of experiences, and continue to grow.  Some of them will turn into life time commitments (I just celebrated twenty-six year membership in my sorority) or at least a great cache of memories.

Study abroad. Travel and exploring new lands and places is such a wonderful experience. If you can’t afford it, because it can be more than your regular tuition, check with the financial aid office or someone in your college and ask about scholarships or financial aid. Some colleges also offer study elsewhere in the U.S., so if you’re in school in New York, you can spend a semester in California instead – that counts, too! I never did this, it’s one of my biggest college regrets, and one I hope to be able to afford for my kids.

Get a job. No, really, get a job.  Then open a bank account.  College is expensive, even if you are on financial aid or scholarship, there are still more expenses.  Show your parents that you’re making some efforts to cover that bottom line. Learn to be employable and to manage your money and to file taxes while you can still do the 1-page EZ form. Ask around on campus or somewhere nearby. A few hours a week, something manageable. And won’t you feel so good to have that check you earned yourself?

Don’t make excuses.  I have several professor friends and one of the most common themes of professor stories is along the “student came to me at the semester’s end, questioning why he was failing” line.  What should they have done? Read the syllabus, marked those key due dates on their calendar, gone to office hours, asked for help before they walked into the final exam room, not depended on their cute dimples to get them through the class.  Do the work, remember why you are in college, seek help when you need it, not after the grades are due.

Call your mother. She misses you, she worries about you. Don’t just send a text before you run to the party. She wants to hear your voice, make sure that you sound okay. Trust me. Even now, my mom doesn’t text, so I have to call her. And when I’m away, I can text my kids, but its still much better when I talk to them. Hearing that special voice is different than characters on a screen.  So call your mom. And your dad, too. They are paying the phone bill, afterall.

Make a good impression, the first time. You only get one chance to make that first impression, you’ve heard that a bunch of times by now.  Keep it in mind. Don’t make people remember you because you were the boy who wears his five-sizes too big pants backwards or the girl who curses everyone out, the boy who is always the drunkest at the parties or the girl that all the guys know. Be the kid who always has a joke, the one who is the great dancer, the student who always sits up front, even the kid who wears the best hats. Be the smartest in the class, that doesn’t hurt, either.  But make it good. I know, that sounds corny, but it will serve you better in the long-term.

Enjoy these four (or more) years.  There will be a lot of emphasis on preparing for the career and life to come, being the super serious adult prepared for the world. Admittedly, there’s some of that in this very list. But while in college, you will have to be in class maybe 3 hours a day (if you plan your classes right), be surrounded by hundreds or thousands of folks your own age, young enough to learn anything and with a world of possibilities still open to you. Enjoy it all while you can.

Finished college and have some advice? Feel free to add anything I’ve forgotten in the comments.

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Currently: Thinking about Colleges, Hybrid cars, Rest & Food

It's Monday and I'm back home. I went to the National PTA Convention this weekend and my daughters tagged along with me. Yes, it takes special kids to come along to a convention and actually attend some of the sessions.  During the convention, I was the featured blogger for the Family Reading Challenge launch and our family inspiration videos were posted.

Along the way, we stopped by Wake Forest University for a college tour (how did we get to this point already?!)  When I was in high school, I didn't do any college visits, I fully picked my school site-unseen.  Nowadays, however, college visits are expected and encouraged - and lots of them. I know folks who have visited ten, fifteen and more colleges with their soon-to-be-grad.  I don't think we'll do that many, we'll have to find a reasonable number.  If you've got a high schooler or recent grad, how many college visits did you all go on?

I drove a Ford Fusion hybrid for the trip.  Somewhere around 400 miles into the trip, the "E" light finally came on, I pulled over to fill up and with about 11 gallons, $30-some it was full and ready for another 500 miles.  Wow!  I usually drive an SUV (because we have to fit a family of six) so you can imagine the comparative cost and gas-savings.  I've got a while until my next car purchase, but this hybrid movement is something to think about.

When we checked in the hotel, I recalled again, my desire to one day check in to a hotel with no agenda but to get my full money's worth of the room rate. I want to sleep late in the comfy bed under the overstuffed comforters, have lunch on the pool deck, sip a drink during Happy Hour at the bar, sit on my room balcony reading a book.  Generally, I'm at a hotel for a convention or on vacation. Obviously, a convention schedule is crazy packed. And vacation, sometime is not as leisurely as we expect because we've got to get to the thing today before the lines get long.  One of these days, I'm going to stay in a hotel for no reason at all.

I'm recommitting to my workout plan that has sadly fallen to the wayside for no real apparent reason. But after a few days of grits, biscuits and sweet tea, I need to get back on it.  (More on what to eat in Charlotte coming up in separate post.)

I'm ready to cook. After a few days away, it's time to clean out the fridge and cook a meal, gather around the table with my full family and catch up.  Admittedly, it may take a few days for all that to come together with swim practice, PTA meetings, and basketball practice, but we'll get there.

What are you currently up to?

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Make Your Own College Tour

On our summer to-do list was “find the turtles and dairy at College Park.”  It sounds like some environmental adventure, but it’s not.  My kids, specifically my oldest daughter, Elle, had decided that they wanted to go on their own scavenger hunt across the UM College Park campus, in search of the Terrapin (“Terp”) painted statues across the campus and get a scoop of ice cream.  You’ve seen these painted statues, often a public works/arts/public fundraising project in various cities – an animal decorated in all kinds of themes and scattered through the streets.  Wandering through DC, you may spot a multi-color panda, donkey, or elephant on the street.

The flagship campus has their school mascot, a terrapin, painted and waving at passers-by around the university.  We had no map and the kids basically relied on their memory of where they thought they had seen them on previous trips to campus (basketball games, school trips, and alum activities with my husband, the proud Terp) and where it seemed reasonable (to my kids) that they should be.  We wandered fromm the Comcast Center to the main library, looking for these decorated turtles.

 

My favorite terp was the Kermit the Frog, in honor of UM alum, Jim Henson

Maryland also makes it’s own ice cream in the creamery operated by the College of Agriculture.  Somehow, we’ve missed getting a scoop on other visits, except Breeze who had some during a summer camp.  The Dairy's ice cream was really good – just sweet enough, full of mix-in ingredients – you know, the s’mores ice cream had lots of chocolate, graham, and marshmallow; the birthday cake flavor had good chunks of cake with frosting blended in.  I had “Fear the Turtle” – vanilla ice cream with white chocolate, pecans, caramel, crème de cacao, and triple sec.  We each had one scoop, which I have to say, was more than the normal commercial scoop – and about half the price.  A pretty good deal.

While in the student union, we came upon a small art installation which attracted the kids with its headphones hanging below video screens.  The exhibit was "Juke" by the artist Jefferson Pinder, a series of videos of African-American persons lip-syncing to a song not typically sang by an African-American person.  According to the accompanying placard, the exhibit "questions the perceived racial categories in music and asks...'is there black music?'"  One art exhibit, the kids can handle that.

We generally wait until kids are ready to fill out college applications before taking them on a college tour, but these mini-towns can be a fun place to wander around even when the kids are younger.  Of course, we first think of the sports teams and their games, but also consider all the majors and their related buildings and exhibits – music performances, art exhibits, farms, libraries, chapels, and athletic facilities.  And if there’s an agriculture college – ice cream or other agriculture products. My alma mater, UDelaware sells Blue Hen wool yarn, shorn from the sheep on the farm.  Many of these buildings and exhibits are open to the public and offer affordable options for a family outing.  And shhh… don’t let the kids in on this part – they might even learn something along the way.

So for your next close to home day out, check out your local university.

UPDATE:
After our road trip vacation, summer 2014, I am adding the MIT Museum and Harvard Square to the list of great college visits.  If your family enjoys science museums - MIT has to be on your list if you're ever in Boston.

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Blue & Gold Weekend

This past weekend, I enjoyed another college Homecoming; from Friday to Sunday, I hung out with old classmates and sorority members.
Although there is FB for daily, even hourly, updates on your friends' movements, it doesn't replace this annnual in-person reunion. The weekend centers around tailgating in the parking lot of our old hangout, the CBC, with the buffet of food and drink options ranging from fried turkeys and sausage to blue punch and cotton candy cocktails (yes, I went to school with a creative bunch). Thanks to the guys on the fryers for holding back some fried fish for the vegetarians. An extra bonus was being serenaded by the soulful singing voice of a classmate as he sang the Japanese version of the pop song "Sukiyaki" (you know the song, YouTube it after you're finished reading). The what-I'm-doing-now stories are impressive, it's great to hear about the job promotions, the job changes, and the jobs people still have, as well as running in 10ks, continuing to perform poetry, and raising families. The remember-when stories seem to get funnier now that everyone can laugh at themselves much easier with the perspective of time. We laughed about venturing across tennis courts late at night, singing in the dining halls, and when we first met. We congratulated the new bride, laughed over a late night breakfast, and danced in celebration of milestone birthdays.  We reminisced about the years when there was a Homecoming King & Queen. My sorors and I wrapped up the weekend with a sisterly brunch, spending time with the women who chartered our chapter, are active in it now, and everyone in between.

At Homecoming, regardless of all your accomplishments since you donned your cap and gown, whether a year ago or 25, you temporarily return to your younger self wandering the yard. No matter whether you are a doctor, lawyer, scientist, professor, banker, or busy stay-at-home mom, you are reminded of the person you were when you were still finding yourself. And for all the fun, you are thankful you've moved passed those great, but sometimes awkward years, to the person you are now.

See you next year, Blue Hens!