It’s Halloween! It’s not my favorite holiday of the year,
I’m a scaredy cat and really can’t take all the blood and zombies and folks’
desire to scare the bejeezies out of everyone, but, let’s get a little
something straight. The whole
entire purpose of the day is, as my kids have been chanting for at least the
past week, is to circle the neighborhood and beg for free candy! Note that last word? C-A-N-D-Y.
Some folks, probably no-one who reads this blog because they
might know better, are actually trying to offer healthy Halloween options.
What? Please, put a black pumpkin out on your doorstep to let us know “keep on
movin’, nothing to see here.”
Yes, I know there’s an epidemic of childhood obesity and
early cases of diabetes. I know kids should eat fresh fruits and vegetables. I
know, we need to teach our kids to eat healthy meals. Yes, kids need to brush
and floss to prevent cavities. But
giving out carrot broomsticks is not going to make the kid at your door any
slimmer. In fact, your cucumber witch hat probably won’t even get eaten. Who is
going to let their kid eat handled, open veggies from a stranger? Oh, no. Only factory sealed foods, please. And
do not, I implore you, do not be the house giving out toothbrushes unless, and
this is even a little borderline, you are the neighborhood dentist.
I’m not saying to let your kids eat the pillowcase full of
candy he hauls home before he crawls into bed. Instead, if you want to teach
your kid a healthy lesson, teach them moderation and sharing. Figure out how many pieces of candy per
day are acceptable in your household and work with your kid to budget their
candy eating. Trade in the candy at the dentist/orthodontist to be donated.
Take it to church and share with the other kids who might not have gone trick-or-treating.
Bake the candy into cookies and share them with his teachers.
This evening, I am going to gather my kids and their band of
friends, usually this ends up to be at least a dozen or so masked, wigged, and
costumed kids. For an hour or two, we are going to traipse around the
neighborhood, up and down steps, across streets and yards, ringing doorbells in
search of the house that’s giving out the full-size candy bars. For my
chaperoning service, I will be exacting my fee of a few pieces of chocolate
from every child. (You didn’t
think I was doing this for free, did you?) And I will help out the nut-allergy kids by relieving them
of any nut-filled candy. For all
of that work, there better not be one Clementine painted like a pumpkin or
mummy in a celery log or banana ghost in the bags.
Now, I’ve got to go. I’m making chocolate cupcakes to give
the kids a good base layer before we begin our evening.
Trick or Treat!
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