Tips to Have Fun on Your Next Business Trip

I’ve just come back from a business meeting at a beautiful resort in Florida. Whenever we think of conferences at great resorts, we often think “boondoggle.” I even tease my husband when he’s headed out of town for business meetings with this term. But the reality is – there’s often little time to enjoy the property, no matter how beautiful and what great amenities, other than walking from one meeting space to another. Unless you are intentional and plan ahead.

As a mom who rarely gets the kid-free trip away from home, I definitely try to squeeze in a little bit of me-time, around my conference agendas. Conferences aren’t cheap to attend (for the attendees or the host organization), so it doesn’t make good financial sense to pay the fees and not go to the prescribed business sessions. Instead, make the most of the time outside of the agenda.

Grab a few of these tips for the next time you find yourself heading out for a conference away from home.

Arrive early, stay late. When attending conferences, I always plan to arrive before the conference starts, even a day before, if possible, and take the last flight/train home after the conference ends to build in a little free time to enjoy the host city. When I went to my sorority conference in Chicago, this plan gave me lots of hours to bike and wanderthrough the city.

Wake up early. As tempting as it is to sleep in, or as much as possible, instead, wake up early and go out for a run or walk before your business agenda starts.  We had breakfast, followed by a full day of meetings on my recent conference agenda, so I got up early and went for a run around the hotel property. This was my time to myself and the opportunity to get in some exercise to counterbalance the sitting in meetings all day.

Make the most of “lunch on your own.”  Just because the agenda allows a 2-hour lunch break doesn’t mean you have to sit in the hotel and eat for the entire time. Wander outside, grab lunch at a food truck, and explore the city.  Or find that much-raved about restaurant in the city and get over there. Or skip lunch all together (you know you ate a big breakfast) and do something relaxing instead.

Be ready for spontaneous moments.  I know, sounds like an oxymoron, right? But there’s always that session that ends early, an unexpected break for a technical glitch. Keep a book in your bag or loaded on your e-reader and find a corner to catch up on your reading, wander outside for a breath of fresh air, keep cash in your pocket for a scoop from the ice cream shop.

And lastly -

Always pack a swimsuit.  I don’t know of a hotel worth its stars that doesn’t have a swimming pool.  Find the time for a refreshing dip in the pool or even a few laps – wake up early, jump in during a lunch break, or slide in after the day is done.

With a little bit of planning ahead, you can actually enjoy your next business trip. Have fun!

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How to Get Thru the Parent Homework (i.e. back-to-school paperwork)

My desk (i.e. kitchen counter) is full of papers and calendars and reminders and notices.  All stuff that has to be read and filled out and returned for school and extra-curricular activities.  With four kids in three different schools (elementary, middle and high school) there’s quite the assortment and very few duplicates.  I’ve piled it all up and will sit with a cup of coffee, my calendars, checkbook (you know that's got to be in there), envelopes, and folders and sort it all out.  It’s all part of the back-to-school parent routine.

For all the forms required for school, a copy machine and/or scanner is one of my favorite tools for trying to keep some order.  I copy everything!

• Health forms - At your kids' pediatrician appointments, ask for the school required paperwork then, especially the sports clearances, even if you think your child will never play a sport.  Make a copy and send this to school when requested; save the original at home.  This saves the trouble of going back to the pediatrician (and paying for another copy plus a rush fee) when needed.  Its also helpful to have one on hand when I need to know when was their last tetanus shot.

• Emergency forms - How many times can you write your name, address, and phone number?! If you have kids in the same school with the same forms, fill in the basics – home address, parent phone number, etc. – make copies of the form, then fill in each child’s name, teacher, other personal info on his/her copy.  Make a copy of all of them and file them away, just in case it gets "lost" (middle-schoolers especially are known to lose important papers in their backpacks). 

• Absent/tardy notes.  I have a pre-printed, fill-in absent/tardy note that I created myself, a version for each child.  Pre-printed is the child’s name, teacher’s name (for the elementary students; blank for the middle-schoolers), my name and contact information.  Then I have a check-off list of why they were absent or late, why they need to be excused early, and a blank for anything else I need to mention.  They are especially handy when we’re running late – who has time to write a note?

Dear Teacher....

And all those checks?  I probably go through a whole checkbook in the month of September - PTA dues, lunch money, early quarter field trips, payments for year-end field trips, sports uniforms, spiritwear.  I know my kids and there's no way that I can hand them a pile of checks and expect that they will get to  the correct person in the correct office.  Each check and accompanying paper goes into its own clearly marked envelope.  

Considering the mountain of paper involved in back-to-school, I do try to recycle and reduce paper uses as much as I can.  A few ways, other than putting all the stuff I don't need in the recycling bin:

• Make 2-sided copies
• Print the absent/tardy notes on the backs of unneeded documents (old flyers, notices from school, rough drafts of school assignments)
• Use those payment envelopes that come with the bills to send checks back to school
• Write any necessary responses to a note on that same paper, rather than on a separate paper

Sometime during that first week of school, I make a pile for each kid, then paperclip it, put it in an envelope or put it in their homework folder, then wish them a safe journey and assume that they will make it to the appropriate school office.

This post has been updated from a previous post I wrote a few years ago.

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Currently...Getting Ready to Go out of Town

I’m going to my sorority conference this week, which means Dad’s in charge at home.  Unfortunately (for him), that means he has all mom-chaffeur duties. Unfortunately (for him), the kids have about fifty-eleven activities this week. And these are the ones I really wanted to attend, the culmination of all the previous mom-miles and waiting hours I’ve put in to practices. Cue: violins and mom-guilt.

Mom-trips are different than dad trips, though, aren’t they? My husband travels a lot for work and when he does he packs his bags, says “bye,” and leaves. That’s it. Pretty easy. With me leaving, my last day home is pretty busy.

Checking the grocery list. Making sure the fridge is stocked with the makings for sandwiches, milk, fresh fruit, easy to cook dinner options, snacks for all the activities. Of course, when I get back, with the exception of the snacks, all this will still be sitting here, fruit getting soft, and to-go containers will be stacked in the trash.

Doing hair. At least the two oldest girls can do their own hair. And the youngest would be fine except that she swims e.v.e.r.y. day and unfortunately she doesn’t have that braid and swim and keep moving hair. The best I can do is put her hair in a couple braids, leave a big bottle of conditioner and cross my fingers.

Downloading my brain onto paper.  I’ve got my routine and who-to-call-in-an-emergency in my head and on my phone. For Dad and kids, I’m printing out the family schedule, with notes on directions, other folks we know who will be there, and packing lists for each event. With full knowledge that I will still get several texts per day about where someone is supposed to be, or I’ll find out when I return that they just skipped some activity.

Packing a book and crochet. Okay, that’s anytime I leave the house, but this takes special thought because whatever I take, I’m stuck with until I get back. Unless I go to a bookstore or find a yarn shop while I’m gone.

Getting in my last hugs. Every time I leave my kids, and it’s not even that often since there’s not too many full-time mom reasons to leave the kids (not legal ones anyway), I start missing them before I even leave. I get this weight of sadness of all the things that I will miss while I’m gone.  I kinda hope that all my whinings reminders of “put your plates in the sink,” “hang up your towels,” “get your summer work done” will kick in while I’m gone, my voice ringing in their heads.  At best, this new-found responsibility will continue when I return.  Or worse, what if they realize how much they can get along without me, that I’m easily replaceable by Uber, Chinese take-out, and a housecleaning service? Leaving can be a bit risky.

Here I go. Packing my bags, hoping my family will be intact and take me back on my return.

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Found Time - Days & Hours #Productive

My calendar is absolutely blank for the next three days. Nothing scribbled in pencil, nothing typed in. Three blank squares.  I think I've figured out how to clear out days of nothingness, time to catch up on all the stuff you still have to catch up on.  How to find that extra day we all need.  Cancel all your plans!

We planned to go away and then had to cancel that trip.  So while we were planning on not being here, I didn't put anything on my calendar.  Ta-da!  It's like a snow day, but without all the slush and cold.  The possibilities are endless!

I could clean my house. When you get busy, it seems like the house suffers.  All the shoes pile up, everyone running in and out, changing for the next activity. And laundry, sheesh!  And, yes, embarrassed to admit there might be a cobweb or two I could knock down.

I could bake some cookies. That's always a good idea.

I could write. I'm in the process of writing book number 2 and finding time each day is crucial to staying on schedule.  I could catch up on a few hours.

I could catch up on Scandal and How to Get Away with Murder.  Note - Do NOT tell me anything that has happened, I don't even want to know which white coat Olivia Pope is wearing.  As previously noted, such spoilers could get a friend de-friended.

I could go out to eat, grab lunch all by myself somewhere with nice table cloths.  I know some people don't like to eat out by themselves, but I do. A book, a drink, a good meal.  And movies, too - I love have the popcorn ally o myself.

I could work-out.  You know when your kinda fit a bit big jeans start to feel snug? You can deny a lot of weight-related signs, but the jean fit is a clear indicator.

I could wander around the neighborhood and walk the dog.

Hmmm... the possibilities.

But since I don't actually want to cancel too many vacations, perhaps, I will use the concept of blocking off days to do nothing. Here's a couple other ways I've found useful in finding a few extra hours.

Use waiting time.  Almost every weekday, I'm picking up/dropping off my kids to some practice or activity. I used to sit and watch them do whatever, waiting until they were done. Sometimes, I still do when I really don't have anything else to do - I can read or crochet, enjoy a quiet, non-moving few minutes. But when I do have stuff to do, I try to squeeze it in then. Someone asked me the other day if I'd have some time to meet with them. Sure, for this hour and half within a 15-minute radius from this practice location - I'm there.  It's also a good time for grocery shopping and other short errands.

Schedule outings, meetings on the same day. If I had several meetings that would take me out of my house, I used to schedule them on different days, thinking that would minimize the hours/day that I've got to be out. But what I found is that it makes my time at home less productive because I'm getting ready for and driving to those events each day. Now, I try to schedule outings as much on the same day as possible. Recently, I had some meetings at our school central office; instead of going over three days in a row, I scheduled them all on the same day. Started in the morning, went down the hall, grabbed lunch, had another - and I was done for the week.

Schedule email and online time. I read this tip in a post about getting to a zero-email inbox (only 600 more to go) - have a set time and time limit when you are going to check your email. Read it, act upon it, then move on with your life. Good point. I do check my email when I'm bored. Or trying to procrastinate. And it probably is a big time waster, so I'm working on that.

There's three quick tips. Share any others you have in the comments.  I'm off to go enjoy my found hours!

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Currently... Trying to Establish Balance

If you keep up with me, you may have noticed that I only had one blog post last week.  My "Currently..." post, last Monday.  Note that the first thing on that list was "fighting a cold."  Yeah, well, I lost that battle.  I chalk it up to what I call "exhaustion flu," when you're body determines that you don't have the good sense to take a break and rest when you need it, so every cell in your body goes on strike, leaving you to be able to do nothing but lay on the couch and barely move as your children walk round you, peeking just to make sure you are still breathing.  So, note to the wise - take time for yourself.

I know, as busy folks out there, we tend to think we don't have time to rest, we eat on the run, and we feel we must check and respond to every email, text and phone message ASAP and post our every thought on Facebook or the world will stop spinning.  As moms, we even feel guilty for taking a nap, saying "no" to the call for volunteering at school (again),  ordering dinner rather than cooking from scratch, and going to bed at a reasonable time instead of staying up and sewing on all the Girl Scout patches and baking two dozen cupcakes for tomorrow's bake sale.  My daughter asked me recently, "Mommy, why don't you ever take a bubble bath?"  What an excellent question, which sadly the only response I had was that I was too busy.

But, I did get out of town over the weekend. Not 100% a restful get-away, I attended a sorority conference, but there were some restful moments.  I did travel alone, drove through the New England countryside a little bit, and I went to dinner by myself before my friend got in town.  This is such a rare treat - real food that I didn't have to cook, with cloth napkins and candlelight, a martini and everything. I take my book, order whatever I want, people watch, and enjoy some quiet time.  This really is one of my guilty pleasures.

So, yes, we do need to rest, we do need to eat right and take care of ourselves. Otherwise, the only thing that's going to stop moving is you. The world is going to continue on.

What's your favorite way to rest? (And do not say going out for a run because that is not resting!)

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Crockpot Cooking Without a Recipe

I've said it before, I'll say it again - my crockpot is one of my most used and favorite kitchen appliances.  Between running around with the kids and scattering to my own community and personal activities, we barely have time to eat - even less time to cook a decent meal.  So getting dinner cooked while I'm not even home is a masterful idea.

The wonderful part about crockpot cooking is that - although there are plenty plenty recipes and cookbooks out there - you really don't need a cookbook or a recipe, if you understand some basic requirements.

• Liquid - there's got to be some liquid in the crockpot. It could be stock, juice, water, sauce, the fat cooking off the meat - but there has to be some liquid to keep the food from drying out.
• Seasoning - the food is being slow-cooked, so there's time for the seasoning to melt into the food. Season generously, but not too heavy-handed.
• Time - obviously, the whole point is cooking for the hours and hours you will be away.  There are times, too, when you will want to use it to keep food and beverages warm for serving, like for hot chocolate for a cookie party!

From there - be creative.

Meats of course are favorites for the crockpot.  Whatever you cook will become so tender and juicy. You can serve as is, straight from the pot, or continue to prepare the meat once cooked.  Chicken, whole or in pieces, is an easy meat to cook. Roast beef or pork is also easy; you can eat as is, or chop it after cooking for sandwich or taco filling.  I like to cook pork loin and then chop it up for bar-be-que.  A very convenient fact? It doesn't even have to be defrosted! Yes, you can throw frozen meat into the crockpot, turn it on low and come back hours later to a fork tender meal.

Grains, beans, and pastas can be cooked on their own or with your meat choice. These especially need enough liquid since they require a lot to cook to tender. Spaghetti is easier than you think and lasagna works well in the crockpot, too - the tomato sauce is your liquid. I've yet to cook overnight oatmeal, but have tasted it and that's really good.  I need a smaller crockpot, since my son and I are the only ones who like oatmeal.

Vegetables can also be cooked alone or thrown in with everything else. I've made some very tender collard greens in the crockpot.  You probably should reserve this for veggies that can withstand the long hours of cooking, nothing too tender.

You can cook all of these separately or throw everything in the pot together for an easy clean-up, easy serve one-pot meal.  A can or two of diced tomatoes or stock and you've got the base for a good stew. Pick up a loaf of Italian bread and a salad on your way home and voila! Dinner is served.

For the chicken meal pictured above: a pack of drumsticks (frozen!); salt, pepper, basil, paprika to season; 2 cans diced tomatoes in sauce + 6 hours in the crockpot while we were at church, a science fair, sorority meeting, and a basketball game.

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You Can Have It All - Take It by the Slice

The responsibilities of home and to family, our profession aspirations, community service, personal goals.  We are constantly trying to have it all and find a balance between all that we’re trying to do.

As moms, it’s as if we envision ourselves as some type of Lady Justice holding onto this scale balance with our professional pursuits on one side and our home on the other, not letting it tip too far in either direction. Put in 8 hours of work and we push ourselves to get in 8 hours of happy family time, and squeeze in eating, sleep, reading a book, and working out in the other 8.  This notion of balance also leads us to think that we can continually pile more on, as long as we keep it even.  A promotion at work? Better bake some more cookies for the school party?  New office in the PTA?  Put in an extra hour on the job so folks don’t think you’re slacking.  And what happens? The weights get heavier. And eventually, it’s all too much of a burden and we fall.

Perhaps, it’s not a balance we should use in this metaphor.  Perhaps instead, a pie is a better image. Pecan, if we want to get specific.

We can divide our life, our days, into slices – all the things we want to, need to, feel like we have to do.  Work, household chores, hanging out with the kids, volunteering, laying around reading, time to drink coffee in our garden, visiting friends, getting to the gym.  A slice for every little good thing we want to fit in.  Now, you know how to construct a pie, right? You’ve got an 8” pie pan, you can only get so many pecans in there.  Whenever I make a pie, I’m tempted to add just a bit more – just another ½ cup of pecans.  But that extra’s not going to make it better; instead it’s going to overflow into a syrupy, nutty mess all over the bottom of the oven.

Just like with our days – we can only get so much to fit. At some point, we’ve got to decide that the next project, another task, another “yes” is going to make us bubble over.  Instead of adding more ingredients, we have to adjust our slices.  If we want to spend more time hanging out with the family, where’s that time going to come from?  You might decide to take it from Chores and hire a housekeeper, if you are financially able to do that.  Perhaps you will seek more flexible work hours or work from home, gaining an hour or two in commuting.  Or maybe you want to put more hours in at the office or in your own business.  Perhaps its worth your personal goals to spend a little less time at home, let the kids hang out with Daddy or the grandparents – nothing wrong with that.  You may put in some slices that I would never think of and vice versa.

The size of my slices will surely look different than anyone else’s, and will be a different flavor than many.  But that’s alright.  Mine is for me, and your’s is for you.  You keep your fork over there and I’ll do the same.  There’s many options with the size of the slices, but one thing for sure - we’re not getting a bigger pie pan.  So let’s fill it ‘til its full – no more, no less – and enjoy the sweetness of life.

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Pack the Car with Snacks & Fun

It's one of those days.  I'm getting in the car in time to get to school #1 before the bell to pick up a kid - and for the next five hours will be making a circuit around the county from dentist appointments to after-school activities to school pick-ups to church.  The kids are in rotation as I drop one off, pick up another, go back and get another - you know how it is.  And the schedule is tight, so I don't really have a bunch of time to stop and pick up a snack for that one, roll through McD's for a smoothie for that one - who will tell the others that they got something from McD's and then I've got to stop again.

We should be home in time for dinner (so, yes, it's a crock-pot day, too) but in the meantime, I will have a carload full of folks who are soooo hungry.  The snack bag to the rescue!

Snacks for the hungry ride.

I carry a snack bag for these long, car-ride days.  Not just for the sake of snacking while bored, but because they probably will be legitimately a little bit hungry - the kids eat lunch rather early in the day and have athletic activities after school.  I pack non-perishables, then I can leave it in the car until it needs replenishing.  Cereal bars, crackers, water and juice.  I will bring along grapes (an easy, no-peel, no-mess fruit), too.  And yes, there's even stuff for me - don't we always forget ourselves?

Other stuff to keep in the car for the after-school mini-roadtrips?  School supplies and entertainment.

• Pencils & erasers for the kid who forgot theirs and needs to do homework
• Flashcards, even though they don't use them in school, but it's still a good way to study math facts and spelling words.  You can have them write their spelling words on index cards when they first get their list.
• Books that they are supposed to be reading for school. Or fun reading just to be entertained - my son loves those amazing facts and greatest record books.
• Small toys or games - Or pieces of a game, like the cards from a Trivial Pursuit game.
• Playing cards - they can play when sitting and waiting

With all of this time in the car, there is also all the wrappers and paper and trash that inevitably finds their way into the car door handles (which my kids think are convenient little trash cans that a car fairy comes and cleans out), onto the car floor, and in between the car seats.  I saw an idea - on Pinterest, in Real Simple, who knows - to use a plastic container for a trash can.  The flip-top kind you use for cereal or sugar in your pantry.  I happen to have two empty ones and I just happen to have two rows in my car.  Let's see how that works out.

Share in "Comments": What else do you carry in your car?

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Split Loyalties: A Parent's Dilemma

It starts from the moment the second (or third or fourth) child is born. This one wants to nap, that one wants to go out and play. That one wants to go on the slide, this one wants to go one the swings. Let's get pizza, let's get burgers.  Which one's whining wins out?

When Serena and Venus play for another Open title again or Jim and John Harbaugh faced each other for the SuperBowl, there was one big question for the parents: "Oooh, who will they root for?"  At least, they only have to go to one venue and see both their kids, who wins is up to the kids.  What's hard is when you want to cheer for both kids and they are not in the same venue.

It's the smart parents that put all their kids in the same sport. On our summer swim team, we had a family with 4 (or was it 5?) kids, they all swam.  Easy, right?  One Saturday morning, one 4-hour block, all kids are busy and occupied, and parents can be there for everyone. But some folks don't do that. They put their 4 kids in various and separate activities, with the idea that it will give everyone their own identity, a unique talent and sense of pride. Great. Until all of their hardwork culminates on one day.

This weekend we have swim team Championship meet and all the hoo-ray that goes with that, tennis team district play-offs, and a church fashion show.  And we havent even thrown in stuff like meals, church, and sleeping.  Are you thinking that there's too many activities for the hours allotted to a weekend? I would agree.  There's overlaps and conflicts, especially when you throw in travel to two counties.  Obviously, the kids will get to their events somehow, but how does a parent choose where to go?

We generally try to pick the most "important". Yes, I know, it's all important. But for instance, music and show performances usually trump regular games and meets, and definitely any practices, because there's usually only one per quarter/season/year and you can't miss something that's that infrequent. Then, we consider if one is some type of play-off, championship, super-duper something. After that, we split up and text each other progress.

But what happens on a weekend like this one? One-time event, championships, play-offs, and celebrations. That's when we fire up the helicopter and the be-in-two-places-at-once machine. Let me know if you'd ever like to rent them.

Dinner to Go: Quesadillas

In the summer, its a little bit like Union Station in our house around dinner time.  Most evenings, someone is heading to practice or a game or a swim meet or music lessons or a friend's house or somewhere.  Many of our summer dinners are easy to take with us foods, or something that folks can eat whenever it is they are home without any special prep.

On swim meet nights, we need our dinner to fit both these criteria.  We are poolside for about 4 hours in the evening.  The swimmers are in and out of the pool for warm-ups and their events, and I'm trying to time when they eat based on their schedule.  The non-swimmers are lounging about, reading, listening to music, waiting for the 2 minute period that pops up every half hour or so when they have to pay attention to the swimming sibling.  And everybody's hungry.

I have a couple standards for swim nights; quesadillas is one of them.  They are probably the easiest and a great way to use up some leftovers when there's really not enough to make a meal.  Of course, I did not invent the quesadilla, but I'll share this easy method to get dinner in the picnic basket.

Quesadillas

Quesadillas served with fried plantains and sour cream. 

Basic Ingredients
Tortillas (I prefer flour, but you can use corn, too) - 2 per quesadilla
Cheese, grated - cheddar, mozzarella, Monterey Jack *you can make it easy and buy the pre-mixed, pre-seasoned packs in the grocery store cheese section

Fillings: this is the fun part - it can be whatever you want.  For meats, make sure they are cooked thoroughly as the few minutes of heating will not cook it properly.  These are just suggestions to get your thoughts going.

Meats
Chicken, chopped or cut into slender slices - perfect use for any leftover chicken
Ground beef - if you have tacos or make spaghetti sauce, cook a little extra and save
Ham - chopped or in thin slices
Steak - in thin slices
Fish - tilapia works well
Shrimp - tails, shells off

Veggies & Extras
Fresh spinach - raw works well; don't use frozen
Asparagus spears - cook first
Grilled corn
Tomato salsa
Guacamole
Black beans - cooked
Jalapeno slices

Easy to cook

Fill quesadillas with cheese and your favorite meats & veggies

• On a flat grill pan, heat tortillas.
• Sprinkle one tortilla with cheese.  Add any other fillings, generously spreading across tortilla.
• Top the cheese & fillings with the second tortilla.  Allow cheese to melt a little bit, then flip over.
• Let cheese melt and tortilla brown slightly.  Remove from pan.
• Slice into quarters.
• Wrap stack of quesadillas in foil.

Quesadilla pizza - cheese & pepperoni

Quesadilla with shrimp

If you like, you can also pack sour cream, guacamole, and salsa to serve on top of the quesadillas, too.

Enjoy!

"Calgon, take me away!"

Moms of a certain age will remember those commercials from the 70s with the weary woman looking to a bubble bath for stress release and relaxation.  If you are old enough to remember those commercials, you’ve probably tiredly uttered those words unconsciously while rushing in from work or grocery shopping or dropping a kid off at some activity, getting dinner in the oven, checking homework, cleaning the bathroom, and fixing your husband an after-work cocktail.  (Doesn’t everyone greet their husband at the door with a martini glass in hand?) 

Oh, but if there was such a magic elixir as Calgon that could take you away from the hectic days with their to-do lists and piles of chores.  Because, although many of us would love to pack our bags for a few days and leave the dishes and vacuuming behind, we have a hard time justifying the time, money, or shifting of our responsibilities to our husband/the grandparents/babysitters/friends that it would require.  So what’s a weary mom to do when the Calgon runs out and the bath water gets cold?

Mom Stay-Cation.

The kids are on school break, my husband is off of work.  I deserve time off of my “job”, too, right?  If you’re sitting there reading this with a cup of cold coffee in front of you and kids screaming in the background, your answer is “right”, even if you don’t want to admit it.

Step 1: Repeat after me “My name is Mommy/Mom/Mother and I’m tired.”

That’s the first hurdle in taking a mom stay-cation.  You have to admit to yourself and to your family that you are tired and frazzled, too.  All the homework and sports practice and play rehearsal and school projects that your kids have been worn out by? Yeah, you’re worn out from helping them get through all that.  New moms you, too.  Late night nursing, potty-training, washing mashed peas out of sweaters and off the dog?  You’re beyond exhausted.  Hubby’s travel schedule, late dinner meetings, and early work hours have him tired?  Yeah, being on your own with the kids has made you tired, too.  Single mom?  Yeah, you deserve a break.  Working mom?  Stay-at-home mom?  Mom of teens, babies, toddlers, multiples, singles?  Whatever.  No contest here.  We all get frayed at the edges sometimes.

Step 2: Warn the family.

They need to know that you are going on vacation.  Depending on how self-sufficient you think your family is, you can catch up on laundry or fill the fridge or clean the house before you go on your break.  Similar to whatever prep you may do before you pack up the family and hit the road on a real trip.  This takes some effort, but you don’t want everything to be too chaotic during your stay-cation.  For me, I stocked some basics – milk, bread, eggs, Pepsi, chips, coffee, and cookies – and decided we’d figure out the rest as we went along.

Step 3: Begin your stay-cation.

This is the easy part.  You don’t have to pack, you don’t have to make hotel reservations or pick a flight.  You just put on your favorite pair of sweats and a comfy tee and slip on a pair of fuzzy socks.  Make a pot of coffee, pick up the TV remote or that novel that used to be on the best-sellers list or the July issue of your favorite magazine, find a comfy seat and sit in it.  Don’t move until you’re ready.

I know.  Your mind is buzzing already.  But what will the children eat for breakfast?  But what if they can’t find a pair of matching socks?  What if my husband can’t find the plug adaptor to his electronic whatzit?  Who’s going to do the laundry?  What about the dishes?  What will we eat?

Think about this.  What would happen if you really weren’t there?  What would happen if you had actually, for real, left your house and were sitting on a beach chair in Fiji drinking a mai tai out of a coconut?  I bet the kids would figure out how to pour cereal into a bowl, add milk and a spoon, and eat it.  Your kids would survive wearing non-matching socks for a few days.  Your husband will turn on the electronic gadget that finds all his other electronic gizmos.  The family will figure out how to do the laundry.  Or they won’t.  They will find the dishwashing soap or the stash of paper plates.  They will discover the refrigerator or the local pizza delivery phone number.  Whatever. 

In the meantime, you get to enjoy the life you’ve worked so hard to put together.  You get to read or catch up on TV dramas (I’ve finished the first season of Scandal in just a few late night marathons).  You can beat your kids in Monopoly or get beat on the Wii.  You can share a bucket of popcorn at a movie you all have been wanting to see.  You can indulge in fast food or get dinner at your favorite restaurant.  And if your OCD requires that you throw in a load of laundry every day, and that calms you, then give yourself a set time, say an hour, per day to do whatever chores you have to do.  If you really do enjoy baking or cooking 4-course meals, go ahead and do that (but only if figure out a way not to be washing dishes for another hour, because you really can’t make me believe you enjoy that.) Then go back on vacation.

The laundry will be there when you get back.  But your sanity?  Whew!  That’s fleeting. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!  See you in 2013!

(And if you really are in a beach chair with a fruity drink in a coconut, I'm very jealous, but still wish you a Happy New Year, too!

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Mommy Tip: Don't smoosh the sandwich

With school, comes field trips.  And with field trips, comes the note with the familiar reminder, “Be sure to pack a bag lunch.”  Do you know how they get all those lunches from school to the museum?  In our school, they put them in one big bag or hamper, put them on the bus, and then hand them out at their lunch destination.  Very efficient, neat, simple system.  Unless your kid’s peanut butter and jelly sandwich lunch is on the bottom of the pile. 

As I was packing my son’s lunch for their class trip one day last semester, he had just finished off some blackberries with his breakfast, the plastic box lay on the counter.  Then I noticed that his peanut butter & jelly sandwich fit perfectly in the empty plastic berry case.  “Mommy, that’s a great idea!  Now my sandwich won’t be all smooshed.” We solved the problem of smoosh-y sandwiches and recycled at the same time.

Keeping Track of the Family

As we head back into the school year, all the extras start, too.  Back to practices and rehearsals and lessons and games and meetings.  I'm tired just thinking about it.  Nonetheless, I'm back to my regular end-of-August routine of figuring out where everyone is going.  Its much like the same thing I went thru in college, trying to figure out when I was going to take my classes, although, admittedly, it was much simpler when it was just me, trying to figure out how I could sleep late and have Fridays free, but same concept - wouldn't it be great if I could still work in those 2 factors?

I use and prefer a paper datebook (see January post about my search for the perfect datebook) for myself, but I use an electronic one for the family, cozi.com, by the people who support the BoxTops program for school (be sure to hang a bag or envelope somewhere conveniently in your kitchen to collect those little tops to send to your school).  On this online system, I can put in everyone’s activities and appointments, color-coded by family member.  I can set up reminders to go to our emails and/or phones, everyone can look at it on the computer, we can check it on our phones and iPads, my husband can check it when he needs to schedule something, and I print a weekly or monthly version for the kitchen bulletin board.  Probably one of my favorite features is that I can set-up recurring activities, for instance, basketball practice every week, without having to retype it over and over and over again.  (As much as I use it, there seems to be a bunch of features I haven't taken full advantage of, so if you use cozi and have some suggestions, tell me what I'm missing!)

I also have a generic spreadsheet of our standard, every week type activities – practices, standing meetings.  I sketch out a "rough draft" while collecting all the registration forms to figure out when everything will fit in (this is where that Operations management degree comes in handy).  Activities go on the final copy as we confirm the kids' participation.  This schedule goes on the bulletin board so the kids theoretically don't have to ask "what do I have today?"

Color-coded family schedule

A few things to note on the schedule:

• These are standard, happen regularly activities.  Doctor's appointments and stuff like that don't go on here.
• Everyone gets a color, a separate color for the entire family (orange in this case).
• I put my own activities - book club, meetings, etc. - on the calendar, too, so I won't overlook myself when planning for everyone else.  I'd like there to be a "date night" block for me and D, but we haven't been able to do that consistently, unfortunately.
• All the overlaps helps me to realize when we need to carpool.  I've only recently really started embracing the wonderfulness of carpools.
• I also note when kids can make-up any activities for those times when something has to be missed.
• The "@ school" row lists the specials at school that require some kind of forethought - wear sneakers, bring due library books, wear clothes okay to get paint on, that sort of thing.
• We also go to church on Sunday, but we're pretty good at remembering that without having to write it down.

Keeping it all handy - I keep the school calendar, the family schedule, each kids’ school schedule, extra-curricular info, and random other need-to-know on a regular basis type papers in a tabbed pocket folder.  Its a plastic folder with one tab/pocket per kid.

I usually keep it in the car in the beginning of the school year, while busy figuring out schedules and going to back to school nights, open houses, or wherever else.  Then I can keep it in an easy-to-grab spot at home for whenever I need to refer to it or take it with me.

With all this prep work, you'd think we're always on time, always return library books on time, and never forget to go to practice, right?  Yeah, right.

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The Olympic Mom in All of Us

What is it, like a bazillion people who are watching the Olympics?  It’s so exciting, how can you not?  I mean, who wasn’t watching Gymnastics to follow Gabrielle Douglas to GOLD! And splashing along with Michael Phelps to his amazing medal record – what is it, 19, 20 now? 

Is it corny to say that I like the Olympics because it feels unifying and hopeful that all the people around the world are watching and enjoying the same thing.  And I love that it does the same thing in our household.

Every night, for the past week, we’ve been settling in the living room, cuddled on the couch or sprawled across the floor, watching whatever competition is on, all the sudden experts.  Jay has become the toughest judge ever, “she over-rotated”, “his feet weren’t lined up”, “they’re finger tips didn’t line up exactly – that’s not synchronized.”  This from a kid who falls and/or spills something everyday, usually both at the same time.  Of course, after spending hours at the pool, twice weekly in the fall, winter, and spring, and daily all summer – we’ve been sitting on edge for the battle in the water between Lochte and Philips.  We even had our own little warm-ups that we did before Gabby or Michael started their events.  I’m not saying that helped with their Olympic records, but we did notice that some of our other hope-fors didn’t get a medal when we didn’t do a warm-up for them (sorry guys).  We’ll have to work on something new for the track & field folks.

And as a mom, I have to say, I LOVE the “Thank you, Mom” commercials.  The little kid diving into the pool, he makes me laugh every time.  Moms rushing kids to practice, I feel less crazy, if just a little bit, that I’m not the only one.  The athletes with their moms, saying “thanks”, heart-warming.  And then the real-life Gabby’s mom crying in the stands.  Yeah, I cried, too.  I haven't read about their personal story, but I don't need to in order to begin to imagine the work that she's put in to get her daughter not only to the Olympics, not only to win two Gold medals in gymnastics, but also to be the first African-American woman to win Gold in the All-Around?  (On an aside, I'm always surprised when someone becomes the "first" anything - you would think all those spots would be taken by now.)

Of course these commercials are emotional tear-jerkers, and sponsored by P&G, they know their target audience, I get that.  But I love the recognition, even if by association, of all the sacrifice and time and “hurry up! Get your stuff and let’s go!” and the miles and money that moms put into their kids to be successful.  Not only in sports, of course, but everything.  Its just a reminder that even to get our kids out of elementary school, they’ve got to put in the work, but moms, we’ve got to give them the push.  And it’s a subtle hint to our kids, too, that we do it all for them.  Doesn’t it make it worth it when they come off the sidelines or show off their report card and say “Thanks, Mom”?  It’s the best.

So to Gabby’s mom, to Michael’s mom, and all the other moms driving, pushing, cheering, paying, not sleeping, correcting, and encouraging your kids to their own "gold" – Thanks.  Keep up the good work.

Workout on the Playground

Kids' playground or a moms' gym?

Question: When could you fit in a quick work-out?
A - while waiting for my kids during their sports/dance/play/school/tutoring activity
B - while watching my kids run around the playground
C - on my way home from work, before I get distracted by chores and TV

I'll admit, during those hours of chaffeuring my kids, I often use the time to read or crochet, if there's not time to go home and cook dinner.  But sometimes, I use that waiting time to exercise.  I mentioned in my post yesterday, and in others, I consider this my "mommy workout" - not because the exercises are specific to mothers, but that empty time, waiting for kids is a standard motherly activity.

Part of the "mommy workout" is accepting two fundamental principles.

1. my own health, fitness, and mental sanity are all as valuable as that of anyone else in my family.
2. my children will be able to swim / hit a ball / throw a ball / sing / dance / play / do anything without me watching them every second.

Moms, you will also have to accept these ideals not only to fit in your exercise, but for any time for yourself, whether its to wander around aimlessly in the fresh air, read, take a nap in the car, go grocery shopping, or whatever other manner in which you want to use your found free time.

But, specifically for the workout regimen, you have to plan it into your schedule or you’ll just put it off until the next day.  Here's some ways I've managed to fit in 30-45 minute workouts into a busy day.

• When I walk the kids to the bus stop or take them to school, I go in my workout clothes and sneakers, so I don’t have to return home – that’ll get you everytime.  Dishes, laundry, and checking email can quickly thwart workout plans.
• Look around for workout space nearby - a well-traveled walking path or public park, a running track, soccer field, or tennis court at the school, convenient sidewalks through the neighborhood.
• Keep your other kids busy, too - if you have the other siblings with you, consider some activity for them while you are working out.  A track (if available) is great because you can run/walk, and they can do the same or play on the field in the middle of the track and still stay within your eye-sight.
• Do something with the other waiting siblings - but something that's really a physical challenge or exertion for you, not just pushing them on the swing (that's good, of course, as a mommy, but if that really counted for exercise, my arms would look like Serena Williams, and trust me, they don't).   Hit tennis balls (doesn't matter if either of you are very good), play soccer, or go for a walk/run around the neighborhood.  My son and I race in the pool (yes, he always wins; no, I don't "let" him, he actually beats me).
• Swim laps or do aqua-exercises while your kids are doing their swim lessons.
• Find some like-minded moms if you’re the social type.  Mention to some of the other moms that are sitting around at dance practice that you’re going for a walk and they just might join you.

A school track is a great enclosed workout space - mom can exercise, kids won't get too far away

In the Pack Your Bags: Work-out on the Go post, I checked with my personal trainer friend, Valerie Merriweather about the stuff to put in your gym bag.  She suggested that we keep this packed bag of essentials in your car so that you are always ready.

My portable gym stays in my trunk

I'm going back to Valerie for some creative ways to get a quick workout in no time.  Since working with her on this post, I've already added jump-roping and the fast half-laps to my run around the track - great for the heart-rate!  And of course, check with your doctor, consider your personal fitness level and health, and all that medical stuff before you jump out there in a new exercise routine.

Getting in some exercise on the playground

• Jump rope at the park (15 minute minimum)
• Perform a circuit of jumping jacks, walking lunges, push-ups, bench squats, and modified or regular Burpees.  Do 2-3 rounds of 8-15 reps. Be prepared to sweat!

The best way to perform a Modified Burpee is to do the following:

1.  From a standing position drop to the floor in a push-up position.  Hold.

2.  Bring the knees into the chest and once you place your feet on the floor either stand up or jump up.  That's one rep.

Advanced Burpee

1.  From a standing position drop to the floor and perform a push-up. Don't hold the position.

2.  Immediately bring the knees into the chest and once you place your feel on the floor jump high (your toes should be pointed). 

3.  Repeat the next rep right away.  No rest.

 The Burpee is an advanced exercise so I recommend the modified one to start with and progress to the advanced level once you can easily do 15 modified Burpees.  

• Do a round of squeeze-it exercises.  Squeeze or tighten your abs and hold for 30 seconds, then squeeze your butt and hold for 30 seconds.  This is an ideal exercise to do especially if you’re manning the fundraising table – it’s private and it works!
• Perform a series of step-ups on a bench adding a plyo-hop at the top of the movement to increase the intensity
• Do a set of bear crawls across a field (people might stare but they’re probably jealous)
• Perform a set of bodyweight rows using a playground equipment bar. 
• Do some hanging leg raises using an overhead playground bar (Make sure your knees touch the elbows; 2 sets of 15 is your ab workout for the day!)
• Run half laps as fast as you can around a track and do a recovery jog or walk for the next half lap.  Do this 2-4 times for the best results.  You’ll feel like an Olympic mom.
• Dance to your favorite tunes

Whatever you do, make time to workout.  Even if you can’t get the gym there are plenty of things you can do to stay fit on the road.

Read more about Valerie's go-to workout essentials at www.fitwellsolutions.com/blog.

And, in this heat - stay hydrated!