Currently... Trying to Establish Balance

If you keep up with me, you may have noticed that I only had one blog post last week.  My "Currently..." post, last Monday.  Note that the first thing on that list was "fighting a cold."  Yeah, well, I lost that battle.  I chalk it up to what I call "exhaustion flu," when you're body determines that you don't have the good sense to take a break and rest when you need it, so every cell in your body goes on strike, leaving you to be able to do nothing but lay on the couch and barely move as your children walk round you, peeking just to make sure you are still breathing.  So, note to the wise - take time for yourself.

I know, as busy folks out there, we tend to think we don't have time to rest, we eat on the run, and we feel we must check and respond to every email, text and phone message ASAP and post our every thought on Facebook or the world will stop spinning.  As moms, we even feel guilty for taking a nap, saying "no" to the call for volunteering at school (again),  ordering dinner rather than cooking from scratch, and going to bed at a reasonable time instead of staying up and sewing on all the Girl Scout patches and baking two dozen cupcakes for tomorrow's bake sale.  My daughter asked me recently, "Mommy, why don't you ever take a bubble bath?"  What an excellent question, which sadly the only response I had was that I was too busy.

But, I did get out of town over the weekend. Not 100% a restful get-away, I attended a sorority conference, but there were some restful moments.  I did travel alone, drove through the New England countryside a little bit, and I went to dinner by myself before my friend got in town.  This is such a rare treat - real food that I didn't have to cook, with cloth napkins and candlelight, a martini and everything. I take my book, order whatever I want, people watch, and enjoy some quiet time.  This really is one of my guilty pleasures.

So, yes, we do need to rest, we do need to eat right and take care of ourselves. Otherwise, the only thing that's going to stop moving is you. The world is going to continue on.

What's your favorite way to rest? (And do not say going out for a run because that is not resting!)

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No Gwyneth, We Don't Think Your Mom-Life is so Hard

Okay, so let’s start out saying that being a (good) mother is not easy.  Being a bad mother just takes a lot of half-*ss effort in neglect and irresponsibility and bad judgment, but it’s a relatively lazy existence, so let’s separate out those moms who are going that path. Anyone in that category is probably not biding her time reading a mom-blog.

But to be a good mom, wow, that requires a lot more.  You’ve got to feed these little people healthy food that makes them grow, not just potato chips and sodas; wash them on a regular basis; make sure they’ve got clean clothes that fit and a place to sleep other than at their school desk and that they can read and speak and walk to the best of their abilities; you’ve got to teach people to say “please” and “thank you” and smile at people who speak to them, but not crazy strangers; you have to clap at music recitals even if they were off-key and cheer at their baseball games and be ready with a big hug when they lose the championship game. You’ve got to take a little 8 lb. bundle of reflex movements and grow them into a full-size, functional, contributing, happy, soulful person.   Whew. That’s a lot.

And we each will make our attempts to do that in different ways, as many different ways as there are mothers and children (some kind of billion factorial, if I remember correctly from stats class.)  And you know what, it’s going to be some kind of challenge for all of us because nowhere in the mom-handbook does it say that this motherhood thing is going to be easy.  In fact, I think they forgot to give me my mom-handbook when I left the hospital.

So…. With this recent chitter-chatter about Gwyneth Paltrow’s comments that moms with regular office jobs having it easier than her 1-movie/year career. Yeah, I think she’s wrong in saying that.  Yeah, I rolled my eyes, too and thought, “really, Gwyneth? You’re saying that out your mouth, out loud?”  Because we’re thinking, give me your salary, give my your nanny and chef and housekeeper and chauffeur and you can have my 9-to-5 and making school lunches before I leave for work and cooking dinner when I get home life. Today, I’m editing in between making biscuits and doing laundry and taking the kids to the movies because there’s no school, pushing aside the manuscript writing I’m already behind on.  And someone will read my plans and think “sheesh, glad I don’t have to do that” and someone else will say “ooh, I’ll trade you for my day!”  And I’ll say one or the other about another mom.

We focus on the one who’s got it easier, but we ignore the fact that someone’s got it harder.  What we need to be doing is focus on the blessing we have, as we are, and what lies before us.  And that goes for me, too, undoubtedly.  But you know how we think….

The coffee’s always sweeter on the other kitchen counter.

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