It's Time to Get a New Doctor

Remember that Tom Conway skit in the old Carol Burnett show where he played this little doctor that shuffled and bumbled along?  [See it here on YouTube for a great laugh & remember.] That's my physician, in the form of a woman.  I said that if anything serious ever happens to me, I'd go see someone else, but while I was pretty healthy, she was all right.  I'm thinking now's about the time to find someone new.  Don't be alarmed - nothing's that wrong with me, but I figure I should start looking now because I realized looking for a doctor when I'm actually sick, doesn't make much sense.

The clear sign that it was time for me to move on was when I referred to the children's pediatric nurse for her opinion over my own adult physician.  Not taking anything away from the pediatric nurses - I do entrust my children to them - but really, if you leave your doctor's office and ask the nurse down the hall about your ailment, it's time to rethink your choice of doctors.

I went to the doctor last week after suffering a minor injury. Again, nothing to be alarmed about, I'm pretty clumsy and bumps and bruises are somewhat a norm. I did afterall, manage to sprain my finger walking the dog. But anyway - back to last week. After self-diagnosis, I referred to my real primary physician - Mayoclinic.com - and every way I tried to put in my symptoms, it said "seek immediate medical assistance." So after two days, I figured I should follow instructions and got myself to my physician, now with a certainty that I was going to suffer permanent damage.

My doctor, having done a very quick exam, then proceeded to check my medical history and asked me about an unrelated, resolved illness from 10 years ago and then offered treatment that would've been relevant then, was done then, and totally unnecessary now.  Then - and this is the part where I was about to gather all my broken body parts and heal myself - she proceeded to lecture me about  cholesterol and suggest I take a blood test to see if I'm anemic.  Note, if I didn't mention it earlier, I was not in her office that day for any blood or cholesterol related matter.

She does this every single time I see her! Broken toe. Let's check that cholesterol.  Sore shoulder. Maybe you're anemic. Lady - aren't most women anemic to some degree? I'm fine.

I'm starting to think she gets some kind of kick-back for every vial of blood that's collected under her signature.  Or she has some sort of doctor-disorder where she can only diagnose and treat one illness. Either way, since I'm over 18 and the pediatrician won't take me as a new patient, it's time for me to find a new doctor.

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