Currently...Checking off my Almost Summer ToDo List

I've got a week left until the end of school, until the end of morning alarms, rustling kids up, fussing about breakfast and packing lunch.

Well, in a way.  School will be over, but then swim team, summer basketball, summer classes, and hopefully, a summer job, will take the place of yellow busses and school bells.  But there is a slightly calmer feel to the long summer days.  So what am I doing in my last kid-free (relatively) week?  Here's the stuff on my to-do list.

Brunch with mom-friends. It's our last kid-free get together!  Through June, July and August, we may gather at the pool or someone's yard this summer with the family or take the kids all somewhere, but it'll be our last morning of mimosa without having to listen for "m-o-m!!" and having to decipher to whom the call is being directed to.  This mom get together is essential. Sometimes you just need to be with others in your same life phase to commiserate, support, laugh at all the mistakes you've made and reassure each other that it's gonna be all right.

My own wellness and health checks. Nothing like trying to get kids to wait patiently in the waiting room while you go to your doctor/GYN/mammogram appointment. These are must-do's while the kids are in school. And they are must-dos!  Moms are good at keeping the kids on schedule, but we've got to keep our health appointments up, too.

Summer workbooks and reading lists.  The terrible summer slide, when chemistry and Shakespeare and fractions hide in the corner of backpacks shoved in the backs of closets, not to be dusted off again until September (even for those of us in schools that start in August.)  The long days of summer are long enough to fit in a little bit of mental work.  I saw an idea for a daily journal - art, writing, something creative - I might try that this year, see what the kids think of that. In addition to a math workbook on the appropriate level and a reading list.  And not to be left out - the creative journal and reading list are for me, too!

Sweet tea. This is my summer staple. I've got a jar brewing now.  I always use Luzianne tea bags, the requirement for sweet tea. Every now and then, I find a flavored tea like peach or mango that I'll brew along with the regular tea bags for some different flavor. And I've also added orange slices or strawberries to be a little fancy. But the basics stay the same - Luzianne tea, sugar, water.  Add ice and enjoy.

Here's to the beginning of summer! What's on your list to kick off these sunny days?

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Forget Sugary Drinks, Pass These Laws To Make Parenting Easier

The other day, I saw yet another bill being proffered so that parents don't have to do their job.  The Healthy Kids' Meal Bill would require that restaurants offer water, juice or milk as the beverage with a kids' meal. Why? Yes, because it's healthier than, say lemonade or a soda. But, also, because parents don't want to be the bad guys on this.  Really? We're going to make a law, just so parents don't have to say "no, Bobby, you can't get a soda with your meal?" Really?

I get it - sugary drinks - bad for kids - bad for their teeth - blah blah blah.  I'm not debating whether lemonade or milk is more nutritious. But what I am saying is this: shouldn't it be my decision, as mom, whether my kid gets to have a lemonade or milk with their chicken nuggets and fries, as opposed to law?  Yes, there are kids who have fruit punch in their baby bottles (not good for their teeth, moms) but then there are those who only have the sugary stuff as their treat when they go out.  So... how about we let the parents figure out what their kids drink, when.

And as for the parents who need this kind of law to make parenting easier?  If you can't say "no" to this, what are you going to do about the really hard stuff? Like dying their hair purple or taking your car for a midnight trip to the beach? And how are you teaching them to say "no" to the offer of a cigarette or a beer or (sex)?  We're not regulating an illegal substance here, you know like marijuana (which by the way, folks are determined to make legal). And I might be more concerned about the legality of selling a 16oz of Starbucks to a teenager (talk about an addiction!)  We're talking about a mixture of sugar and water.  Don't want your kids to have it, say "no."

But if we are looking for some laws to pass to make parenting easier, here's a few options to consider.

• Cell phone companies must turn off signals to phones operated by those under 18 years of age at 9 p.m.
• Children's rooms must be cleaned, with clothes put away, each day, without being told.
• Voices shall not rise over a normally acceptable talking volume when a parent is on the phone; nor shall any child ask for cookies, a lost shoe, or permission to do anything during this time.
• No children's activity shall require more than 1 practice session per week.
• Any children-focused activity facility (gym, dance studio, karate center, music hall) shall have a fully-loaded and operational coffee machine and comfy chairs in the waiting area.

Any offense is punishable by the mother effected being sent to the nearest day spa for a pedicure, manicure, or if the infraction is bad enough, a massage.

Let's start with these.

In the meantime pass me a Pepsi & fries.

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5 Reasons to Encourage Girls about Diet and Exercise

Girls aren’t supposed to want to be pretty and attractive. At least that’s the new message that seems to be out.  There's a hashtag movement to shy away from telling our girls that they are pretty, only smart - but why not both?  There’s a social message that we don't want our girls to think that exercising is for our own self-image, but only strictly to be healthy and because we enjoy it. More girl-focused campaigns are trying to downplay the truth of wanting to look good and be attractive.  And yes, as a woman and mom of three beautiful girls, I get that there's a lot of over-sexualization in girl-targeted ads and media and clothing; trust me, I struggle with that when clothes shopping, pushing my girls past the make-up counter and push-up bras in the junior sections.  But part of teaching them to walk past all of that superficial-ness and not be too grown, is to teach them to love their own image.

I workout, in a good week, three to four times.  Running, swimming, weightlifting, playing tennis – some combination of those.  And in a real good week, I limit the amount of ice cream and chocolate cake I eat to only 1 or 2 servings.  Like most women, I have a goal weight and a preferred dress size.

This all goes hand-in-hand, doesn’t it?  Exercise, diet, body size. Along with body image and satisfaction with that image. It's an important balance, aligning a workout schedule, a proper diet, and a reasonable desired body image.

So, it's not a secret that I workout and sometimes watch what I eat, partly (mainly) because of self-image. My daughters (and my son, too) know that I try to balance all of this to look how I want to look, or at least something close to it.  And here's why I've never really thought of this as something to deny because there’s a few things I want my kids to understand.

Physical fitness and good health is a choice. Exercise is something that fits into a lifestyle, it’s not just about going to the gym at a scheduled time to jump around, especially for children.  We can decide to sit on the couch and watch TV for 10 hours a day or go out and ride bikes or run around with the dog and be active.  It’s a choice and that choice will affect your health.

Your diet is a choice. And I don’t mean diet as in the all-grapefruit kind of diet, but “diet” in the sense of everything you eat.  We can eat pizza and fries for breakfast, lunch, and dinner 7 days a week (not good) or for one meal of the week, balanced with a salad and fruit, and other healthy meals.  We can’t eat ice cream three times every day, but we can enjoy a sweet scoop on a Saturday afternoon.  We can always enjoy the good things in life.

You should love who you are and what you look like.  There is nothing wrong with looking at yourself in the mirror and liking what you see.  There is also nothing wrong with wanting to be a better you and figuring out how to be that better self.  With proper nurturing and encouragement, that can result into healthier eating and exercise rather than quick weight-reduction tactics, starving oneself, and artificial beauty.  Maybe it will translate into appreciating their intelligence and talents, building their confidence.  We want our children to love their own natural selves.

You have some control over your life and your health.  Granted, there are some health-issues that we have no control over.  But the complications of being over-weight and not having a proper diet – that is within our own decision making power.  Along with that, hopefully the kids will begin to understand that who they are as people is also up to them – how they act, how they present themselves, what they become.  They have to decide who they want to be and be proud of that person.

It’s all about balance and moderation. Yes, you can exercise too little, as well as too much. You can overeat, undereat, consume the proper amount of calories but they might not be all “healthy.” It’s not about being rail thin to show off your ribs, but being a good correlation of height (which you can’t control) and weight (which you can) and eventually, age.  Like a lot of things in life, you have to find the proper balance of “enough” and moderate your intake and output.

And I will admit, it is a fine line between making children conscious of a healthy body size and being overly concerned about it, but that’s all part of the learning process – for all of us.

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It's Time to Get a New Doctor

Remember that Tom Conway skit in the old Carol Burnett show where he played this little doctor that shuffled and bumbled along?  [See it here on YouTube for a great laugh & remember.] That's my physician, in the form of a woman.  I said that if anything serious ever happens to me, I'd go see someone else, but while I was pretty healthy, she was all right.  I'm thinking now's about the time to find someone new.  Don't be alarmed - nothing's that wrong with me, but I figure I should start looking now because I realized looking for a doctor when I'm actually sick, doesn't make much sense.

The clear sign that it was time for me to move on was when I referred to the children's pediatric nurse for her opinion over my own adult physician.  Not taking anything away from the pediatric nurses - I do entrust my children to them - but really, if you leave your doctor's office and ask the nurse down the hall about your ailment, it's time to rethink your choice of doctors.

I went to the doctor last week after suffering a minor injury. Again, nothing to be alarmed about, I'm pretty clumsy and bumps and bruises are somewhat a norm. I did afterall, manage to sprain my finger walking the dog. But anyway - back to last week. After self-diagnosis, I referred to my real primary physician - Mayoclinic.com - and every way I tried to put in my symptoms, it said "seek immediate medical assistance." So after two days, I figured I should follow instructions and got myself to my physician, now with a certainty that I was going to suffer permanent damage.

My doctor, having done a very quick exam, then proceeded to check my medical history and asked me about an unrelated, resolved illness from 10 years ago and then offered treatment that would've been relevant then, was done then, and totally unnecessary now.  Then - and this is the part where I was about to gather all my broken body parts and heal myself - she proceeded to lecture me about  cholesterol and suggest I take a blood test to see if I'm anemic.  Note, if I didn't mention it earlier, I was not in her office that day for any blood or cholesterol related matter.

She does this every single time I see her! Broken toe. Let's check that cholesterol.  Sore shoulder. Maybe you're anemic. Lady - aren't most women anemic to some degree? I'm fine.

I'm starting to think she gets some kind of kick-back for every vial of blood that's collected under her signature.  Or she has some sort of doctor-disorder where she can only diagnose and treat one illness. Either way, since I'm over 18 and the pediatrician won't take me as a new patient, it's time for me to find a new doctor.

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Mom-Me Celebration - Day 4: Get Moving for 30 Minutes

We all know exercise is good for our overall health. And unless you have been living under a slice of chocolate cake lately, you are well aware of the "30 minutes a day" recommendation. The American Heart Association says its good for your heart.  US News Health reports that it's good for your reducing stress, handling depression, and lifting your mood. WebMd explains it's benefits for weight-loss and prevention of various diseases and conditions, such as high blood pressure and high cholesterol.

But knowing and doing are two different things. We're tired, we're busy, we don't know what to do, we don't feel like it. Our knees hurt, our backs ache, we get out of breath. Everyone has their own excuse. So today, is the push to get over all those excuses.

Your Mom-Me Celebration activity today is to Move for 30 minutes. Because, mom - you've got to be healthy, for yourself and for your family.

I hated tennis in high school gym, but it's now one of my favorite activities - if only for the cute outfits.

What to do?  The first thought when you think exercse is running and weightlifting, but there's many more options. Here's a few:

• Dance - zuumba, jazz-ercise, step aerobics, formal dance classes
• Play a sport - softball, basketball, tennis, football
• Swim - laps, aqua-aerobics, water zuumba
• Walk - it's free and you can do it anywhere
• Return to your childhood favorites - ice skate, roller skate, bike ride

When to fit it in? That's every busy person's question. But we have more time than we think if we consider all those dead time pockets in our day.

• Waiting for kids at practice/lessons/activities - go for a walk or run instead of sitting
• While checking emails and FB - I'm working on doing these things while on the treadmill. The key is to keep up whatever is your "normal" level on the treadmill while doing so, not crawling at 1 mile an hour.
• Before everyone wakes up (if you are a morning person)
• After everyone goes to bed (if you're a late-night person)
• While walking the dog - go for a run with the pooch, even if for a few minutes
• Schedule it in to your day, like any other appointment - put it on your calendar

My "Pack Your Bags" post on exercising has more ideas on what to carry in your gym bag and exercises you can do without being in a gym (like jump-roping).

How do I stick to it? Figure out what motivates you has been my key. It sounds simple, but that's what it comes down to - what is going to make you keep at it?

• Enjoy it - Find something you like, or at least can pretend to like for 30 minutes. Nothing will put a stop to an exercise routine like doing something you hate.
• Commitment - pay for a class, agree to meet a friend, join a team
• Join a gym - find one that fits your needs. Mine has a pool, various classes and lessons, experts to answer questions, kids' activities, childcare, even a masseuse - very few excuses left.
• Set a goal - determine how much weight you want to lose by a certain date, establish a target number you want to hit: miles, laps, baskets, serves, situps.  I've set a number of miles I want to run each month - 26 - a marathon.

Are you scratching your head, thinking "I thought this Mom-Me Celebration thing was supposed to be fun and all about me?" Yes, it is. To be the best mom and to be the best you, you need to be healthy and happy.  Now, go move.

What is your favorite exercise or moving activity?

I am a scaredy cat

In the choice between “fight or flight” – I generally choose “flight”.  I do not watch horror movies, I can barely stand the commercials on TV.  My one and only time in a haunted house ended in me running at full speed, screaming until I reached daylight.  My heart races whenever I drive down a dark country road.  I don’t even go in my basement at night when my husband’s not home.  Did I say that I’m a scaredy cat?  But fear isn’t all bad.  Fear can be a great motivator. 

Fear is what keeps you from driving too fast on a rainy street, even though you are late to pick up your child from basketball practice.  Its what makes you put on your seatbelt on the airplane when you feel that bump at 35,000 feet, as if that 2 feet of webbing is going to save your life.

Fear is what makes us go for our annual check-ups.  It is for me, anyway. 

Despite my clumsiness and random odd ailments, I’ve never had any significant medical issues.  I had dental surgery and it was the first time I'd had any surgery of any sort or had any part of me stitched up, and I was scared going into it.  I've never been required to stay overnight in the hospital, other than for the birth of my children.  So, yes, if the doctor told me I’d have to ever get anything more than an ace bandage and a funny blue boot (I’m used to those), I’d be shaking in my hospital gown.

So, yeah, I’m a scaredy cat.  But its alright.  Its fear that put me in the oral surgeon’s chair.  And fear that has made me make my appointment for my annual breast exam.  Because there are other things I fear much worse than being uncomfortable for a few minutes.