My Favorite Back-To-School Supplies

I was that kid who loved a new box of 64 crayons and would organize the box by color. All the greens together, all the reds, those random silver and gold and pewter over in the corner.  I’d gather enough paperbags to cut and fold into crisp book covers for all my textbooks.  Be sure to label everything clearly with my name.

And not much has changed since then.  While my kids are checking off their school supply list of pencils and 3-ring binders and protractors and multi-button graphing calculators, I gather the items I need for back-to-school.  For the things that need to be replaced or added to, this time of year is a great time to pick up my favorite office supplies while they’re on sale for the kids.

4-tab sectioned folder.  There always seems to be some new folders and organized in the aisles at Staples. I found a 4-section folder, perfect for our family, for all my “stuff I need to know about my kids’ activities” folder. Their class schedules (for when I need to make during-school doctor’s appointments), their sports schedules, identification cards for sports associations, class syllabus, list of teachers. Its easy and convenient enough to carry with me to back-to-school night and the rest of the year.

Sharpies. These are fast becoming my favorite writing instrument because they can write on anything (including your children), they come in every color you could ever want (even neon) and you don’t have to scribble on a corner of paper to get the ink flowing. I use them to write notes, label kids’ stuff, label my stuff, sign books.

Coffee mugs. I tend to drink from the same coffee mugs every morning, part of the morning routine.  The monkey mug is a constant, my sorority mug has been added to the cycle. The cheetah mug is being retired, I’m scared the handle is going to break off mid-sip. And then of course, there’s the to-go coffee mug for those busy mornings. One from Starbucks Madrid is the throw in the purse one - it doesn’t leak – really it doesn’t. I don’t know why they don’t have this model state-side. (Starbucks – are you listening!?)  And I have a pretty Lily Pulitzer one someone gave me as a gift for mornings I want to be fancy.

Google calendar.  I still carry a paper planner – because. But to coordinate all the goings on in our family, and to be able to shoot my husband a calendar item, I rely on Google calendar. I color code our activities and can print out the calendar by day, week, month, or some other unique day-count. The best feature – it sends me reminders by text and/or email of where I’m supposed to be. That’s the one thing my paper calendar can’t do.

Note cards. Who doesn’t love getting a real, hand-written note in the real mailbox? One of my goals is to get better at writing more notes to people, especially since I like buying pretty cards.

Bound journals. I like journals for all my notetaking. From the little 3x5 Moleskine style to the cloth-covered, ledger. I am not hardly ever without at least one in my purse. Because I take notes wherever I go – church, meetings, programs, seminars, book talks – and make lists all the time. As a writer, this allows and encourages me to write wherever I am, whenever I have a few free moments. 

And since adult coloring books seem to be the new thing, and I don't have to share my daughter's Princess books any longer, I think I'll pick up a pick of colored pencils for myself, too.

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Getting The Perfect 1st Day of School Picture

If you’ve got kids, you’ve got to post the perfect first day of school picture on Facebook / Twitter/ Instagram/ Periscope.  You’re little sweety waving & smiling as they board the bus. Or blowing you a kiss thru the car window. Hanging up their backpack in the perfectly neat row of cubbies in their new classroom. And then a mom and kid pic – you smiling with your trying to look like you woke up like that make-up on, hair combed and a clean blouse and cute still-summer shorts.

As if the first day of school isn’t stressful enough!

Because this is probably the first day in almost two months that you’ve had to wake up your whole family before 8 am.  And if you are lucky enough to have high schoolers, you’ve had to get up at the break of dawn. Then you had to pack lunches, and realized that since you went to the grocery store last week, the kids ate all the snack bags of chips over the weekend and handed out the juice boxes to their friends at the pool.  And where are all those dang forms, especially the one that proves your kid got his measles shot this summer so they will let him in the school door?

You spent a mortgage payment on back-to-school clothes, but the little one refuses to wear the new outfit you picked out – the identical pink dress or red and blue striped shirt that they wear every year so that it looks so cute in the scrapbook on the “how they are growing” page. Instead, they want to wear their favorite summer movie t-shirts, so your daughter is wearing a Minion t-shirt and overalls with fake black glasses and your son is wearing a Straight Outta Compton t-shirt and jeans and won’t smile.

And they changed what time everyone goes to school this year, pushing it back 15 minutes – just enough to screw up your schedule, but not really enough time to get any sleep that makes a difference – and changed the bus routes, so you actually have to check the bus route schedule this year for the bus your kids have been riding for 6 years to figure out what time its coming.  But what mom worth her coffee puts her kids on the bus on the first day of school, so you’ve got to drive them to the door to prove to everyone that you aren't one of those free-range willy-nilly parents.

But before you load up the kids in the car, you’ve got to fix your hair and swipe on some lipstick and put on a real clothes. You cannot do the in-pajamas drop-off today because you know that other mom in your kid’s class is going to be there in an outfit that matches her kid’s, with a full face of make-up, unchipped manicure and hair fresh from the salon.  She’ll be there with that cute-sy sign she made stealing an idea from Pinterest, a chalkboard with cute-sy lettering announcing the first day of school and the new grade. (She also wrote a funny haiku for her kid’s lunchbox, you’ll hear about that from your little on after school.)

There's just enough time to pour coffee in your car mug, search for the top, get the kids to stand on the front steps and not poke each other.  Try to get a couple good shots of them smiling without making those goofy faces they usually do when you pull out a camera, but they never do when they are taking selfies.  Hurry to school and try to get towards the front of that nightmare of a drop-off circle. And before the teacher on drop-off duty blows her whistle at you, you snap a couple more pictures of the kids in front of the school before they see their friends and you get one last picture of the back of their heads as they run into the school.  Waving from the curb is the PTA President and if you make eye contact for too long, she’s going to ask you to chair the fall festival bake sale or to join the healthy food committee, so you wave, jump back in the car, and knock over your coffee onto your nice clean outfit.

Now to get home, flip through the morning pics, and find that one good picture of your lovely darlings and try to think of something new and catchy to say, but its been too hectic a morning for all that so you’ll just go with “first day of school – when did they get so big – tears” like everyone else.

Whew. Relax. Finish your coffee and clean up breakfast. In six hours, it’ll be time for the “home from the first day of school” picture.

Happy Back-to-School Day!

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Getting Back into the School Routine (for Moms)

It's going to take a couple days to get back into the school routine.  Waking up, getting out the door - with lunch and homework. Doing homework.

Yesterday was the first day of school and we did well getting going in the morning. But the first day usually is a good one - the excitement of the new year, the new outfit, seeing friends again. Even getting up early is kinda easy for one day.  But, getting through that day and having to do it all over again the next day? How exhausting.  Even for the kids.

Back-to-school is a mom adjustment, too. At least it is for me. After months of only having to get two kids to the pool in the morning and one kid to basketball in the afternoon, each for a couple hours, and then a relatively open (lazy) schedule after that, the school year routine takes getting used to again.  Now, I have to return to - or reinvent - a productive day schedule.  While the kids are gone and the house is relatively empty (just me and the dog, sometimes my work-at-home husband), I like to get some writing done in the quiet.  But I also need to do my housekeeping, get some groceries, follow up on my sorority and PTA tasks, and - oh, yeah - that dinner before 7:30 p.m. thing. And back to an exercise routine (read about our vacation ice cream tour on to understand why.)

I estimate it will take me this week to get myself settled.  Catch up on laundry. Restock the pantry and fridge with lunch stuff.  Dust off the crock-pot. Clean the house without people in it.  Then next week, I'll be ready to get back into a productive routine.

How do you readjust to the school year?

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Parents' Rules for Back to School Night

Kids off to school? Now, the next ritual of the new school year - Parent's Back to School Night.  We're down from 4 nights at 4 schools, to 3, so there's a little something to be thankful for.

As a teacher, Parent Night used to make me so nervous! It's one thing to talk to classrooms full of kids all day, but for the most part, they were harmless. Maybe someone wouldn't turn in their homework or would fall asleep or not stop talking. I could handle that. But on Back to School Night, the parents were coming and - whew - parents can be a mean bunch with some hard questions.

Now, as a parent, I try not to scare the new teachers who just got their education degree last spring and so proudly are stepping into the classroom with their newly sharpened pencils. Neither do I want to upset the more seasoned teachers who know their way around a busy-body parent.  Because really, who is going to suffer from my bad behavior? My kid. And then we've got to go to the Principal's office and nobody wants that.

I'll have a snack before I go so that I won't be cranky and take my favorite flask coffee cup so that I can pay attention.  And I'm now going over my rules so that I don't get a red card in class.  Interestingly, they are similar to the ones I hope my kids are following.

• I will not take up class time for my personal issues.  This is not the time for private conversations with the teacher about my kid.  I should ask for an appointment to discuss any concerns later.

• I will not be disruptive in class.  Tonight is not the time to debate whether I like the new math curriculum and explain how confused I am about decomposing numbers. But I might ask if the teacher has a cheat sheet for parents.

• I will be on time for class.  As much as it feels like reunion time with my school parent friends, I will be sure to not be late, talking in the hallways.

• I will do my homework.  I am collecting my PTA dues, cafeteria money, and all the other papers I was supposed to send back to school over the past week.

• I will be nice and respectful to my classmates.  I will not roll my eyes at the parent in the first row who explains to the teacher (and us) how her child is so smart and asks what she should do while the other kids are trying to catch up with the lesson.  I will not cough while the parent in the back row explains why her child should be exempt for two weeks of school because she's going on a prestigious recorder concert.  (Note to self - pack my sunglasses, don't worry that it will be 8 o'clock at night.)

• I will not make smaller kids cry.  Do not leave an embarrassing note about how proud I am of my kid with big frilly hearts in my kid's pencil box for them to find in front of all of their friends tomorrow.

Alright. Off to brew some coffee and then I'll be on my way.  Enjoy your back-to-school night!

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Kids: Go to Bed!

There’s a growing movement among some parents and kid psychologists, supported by Education Secretary Arne Duncan, pushing for later start times for high school students.

High school students are experiencing absenteeism, they’re tired in school, they’re spending all their lunch money on Starbucks.  Their brains are wired not to be alert until after second period. Their solution: start school later.

How about this one: send the kids to bed earlier.

Medical professionals say kids should sleep 8.5-9.5 hours per night. Simple math says that kids who have to be up at 6 a.m. (like my daughter) need to be in bed by 9 p.m., 10 p.m. at the latest.  Later bell advocates say that doesn’t work because…. well, I’m not sure why. The debate hardly talks about why they can’t get to bed on time.  Yes, there is chatter about their after-school activities and homework and texting the friends they just left and watching the latest funniest videos on YouTube.  But no-one seems to propose the idea to cull some of the stuff and send the kids to bed earlier if getting up is a problem.

Now, I know there are some kids out there who are working because their family financially needs them to. Or they are watching siblings or grandparents because mom and dad are at work. Or there are all kinds of family issues which keep them from getting a good night’s sleep. I’m not including those kids because I think their needs are serious and go beyond a later school bell.

I’m talking about the kids who are not hitting their pillow until 11 p.m. because they are “busy” with teen stuff.  Kids like my daughter who starts school at 7:20 a.m., long before her younger siblings.  She’s done at 3 p.m.  Then she goes to after-school sports practice.  She gets home in time for dinner and does her homework. She could go to bed then, by about 9 p.m. But hey, its football season and she’s got to check her fantasy team.  Or she’s trying to restyle her hair or read the next 100 pages of her newest book.  So she goes to bed later and gets about 7 hours of sleep a night.

If I thought she was not functioning, we’d adjust her bedtime. We wouldn’t let her watch the games until the final kick. If it was really bad, she’d have to quit her school sport.  The point is, parents can adjust their kids’ daytime activity level to get them to bed earlier and be awake for school.

This is another example of “my kid is struggling and it would take too much effort parenting so let’s upend society instead.”  Folks like to do this at school.  Kids are fat – instead of telling my kid they can’t have potato chips and chocolate all day, let’s demand that all the vending machines at school are cut off.  My kid is uncoordinated and unathletic, let’s get rid of try-outs and put everyone on the sports team. My kid doesn’t hold a pencil correctly, let’s not make writing in school a requirement.

At some point, old-fashioned parenting has to kick in.  Your kid’s sleepy in school, failing class, driving tired? How about send them to bed earlier, make them study instead of playing sports, and catch the bus until they are awake enough to drive.

Sure, I love sleeping later, too.  I’d love my alarm not to go off at 5:45 a.m. I’m so tired because I stayed up watching Jimmy Fallon and crocheting my next scarf.  Hmmm…. How could I get more sleep?

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What's in the Lunchbox?

Got the notebooks and the crayons. New shoes and outfits. New backpacks and lunch boxes.  Oh! Lunchboxes! What are you going to put in those things?

Lunch packing stuff: lunch box, reusable drink bottle, reusable plastic container, thermos

Like many of you, I pack my kids' lunches on most days. I'm not so much concerned about them eating chicken nuggets or hamburgers everyday, because we provide some balance with breakfast and dinner; I'm more concerned that they will spend all their lunch money on ice cream and cookies.  (And yes, they will.)  

It would be easiest to make a stack of 180 peanut butter & jelly sandwiches and dole them out day-by-day, but kids do enjoy variety in their lunches (don't we all?) and that's where the challenge lies.  I have a basic formula for lunch and then I work within that plan.

• Protein - usually meat and/or cheese, but also consider beans and tofu if your kid likes that
• Carbs/bread - although I need to watch my carb intake, the kids are running around at recess and after school sports, so they're fine
• Fruit/Veggie - on a good day, they get both, but I strive for at least one. Fresh fruit, apple sauce, carrot sticks, V8 drinks
• Snack - Sometimes its graham crackers, other days chocolate chip cookies. Pretzels or veggie chips.  Those tube yogurt things, frozen. Whatever, it's their little treat.  If your kid stays after school for whatever reason or has a long bus ride home, then this can be their after-school snack.
• Beverage - water, juice, milk. I like to use the re-usable, plastic juice bottles (I feel like I'm saving the planet), but do send juice boxes every now and then, especially for field trips. We get the milk boxes because no-one wants to carry around a milky juice bottle all day.

I asked my little folks what were some good lunch ideas to share in this post; here they are.

Lunch options: make-your-own lunchables, wraps, fruit, frozen yogurt

Quesadillas - They are so versatile and a great use of leftovers, but do take a few minutes of prep time.  I cook them on the stove, but if you're really pressed, you can wrap them in foil and stick them in the oven while you go brush your teeth.  Wrap them in foil and they are warm enough by lunch time.  I gave more details on how to put them together in this other post; they're also great for a quick dinner. I like them for both when we are on the go, as well as those nights everyone's on a different schedule, passing each other in the kitchen looking for food.

Wraps, pitas - These are variations of the basic 2 slices of bread sandwich.  Tortilla wraps & pita pockets both come in different sizes and wheat-i-ness (whole, corn, flour, white, etc.) to keep things interesting.  (I stuff them with whatever meat & cheese, sneak in some spinach leaves or shredded carrots, and top with a little bit of ranch dressing (kids love food with ranch dressing.)  I like that you can use sandwich fillings that might be more messy with regular bread, like chicken salad.

Fried rice - Another great use for leftovers, for lunch or dinner.  A friend asked for a recipe and it's really simple. Ingredients: rice (we always have the sticky kind), chopped meat or tofu (if desired), chopped veggies - carrots, green onions, mushrooms work well, an egg.  Heat sesame oil in a pan (wok pan if you have one, large frying pan if you don't).  Heat any meat/tofu until warm. Add any raw vegetables, cook, but not too soft. Add rice, an egg, and just a little bit of soy sauce and stir all together. If you like, you can add minced garlic or sesame seeds.  When it's all mixed and heated, you're done. Easy, right?

"Lunchables" - The folks who make Lunchables are like geniuses. Take some cold cuts, cheese, and crackers, put it in a box and give it a cute name and kids go crazy. And then, if they are over 5 years old, they get hungry. Make your own, with whatever you want. Get a reusable box with compartments (from Target, Container Store, grocery store) and fill it with a variety of your kid's favorite food.  Good option for the kid who doesn't like sandwiches.

Dinner leftovers - Be sure to have a thermos-type container in your arsenal of lunch stuff and you can send any warmed up mini-meal to school.  Consider cooking extra specifically for lunch.  If you think they'll be bored of the same old thing - change it up. Rotisserie chicken for dinner, chicken salad for lunch.  Spaghetti and meatballs for dinner, meatball sub for lunch.  Chicken fingers for dinner, chicken wraps for lunch.  Be careful of sending soup or anything too saucy for little ones, as it might make a mess when they open it.

Cultural meals? I'd be careful. Even if your kid can't get enough of your curried goat for dinner, re-think sending it in his school lunch. Speaking from experience, from way back when everybody did not think eating sushi or anything wrapped in seaweed was cool, these special family meals don't always draw the attention your kid desires in the school cafeteria. 

Have fun, eat well, and don't stress. There's always peanut butter and jelly.

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Tick-Tock-Mommy-Clock

My maternal clock is ticking.  Not in the “reached a magic age and not had a baby” kind of way.  Definitely not in that kind of way.  In the “I’ve had all my kids and soon they will leave me” kind of way.

Summer’s coming to an end, all the kids will be back in their classrooms on Monday.  We took a break from mornings at swim practice, afternoons at play rehearsal, evenings at basketball games a few weeks ago and since have visited a few friends, gone on vacation, finished up those summer packets.  But with barely 72 hours before its all officially over, I’m panicking about all that we didn’t do.  This might be the first summer in my motherhood career that we didn’t make it to the zoo; I’m not really sure how that happened.  Perhaps, those 100 degree days had something to do with it.  And we only made one batch of ice cream.  In this sense, those 100 degree days should’ve pushed us to many many more gallons.  Will the kids’ memories of this summer be somehow defective?

Though this end-of-summer panic is not new, it's stronger this year.  Because now I’m counting down not only the days of this summer, but the numbers of summers left with my brood.

We’re going through a seismic shift in our house.  I felt like my son needed his own room; he’s the only boy and it seems like he’d enjoy his own non-girl-filled space sometime.  My husband agreed in the way that he agrees to anything - not necessarily enthusiastically, but not really putting up much of an argument either.  For Jay to get his own room, his little sister had to move out.  She’s moving down the hall to the “girls’ room”.  But three in a room is just too much, so my oldest is moving to her room, too.  Everyone is just shuffling up and down the hall, barely 10 feet apart from each other.  But it seems like a much bigger move.

My oldest daughters have lived together their entire lives.  (Well, okay, not the first 2 years of Elle’s when she was the only child, but she doesn’t remember that portion of her life, anyway.)  This year, they will both be in middle school, but not together.  (I can’t believe that Breeze is heading off to middle school!)  And now they won’t even be living together.  I have anguished over their separation for the past week as we moved office furniture out and a bed and clothes and books and basketball trophies in.

There’s no going back at this point.  I asked my husband and he has refused to move all the furniture back.  So their separation begins.  I’m already nervously anticipating the whirlwind of these next few years that will end with my oldest leaving for college.  The beginning of my little birdies leaving the nest.  I’m so not ready for that.

On Elle’s very first day of school, as in pre-school, I did cry a little bit.  You would think I would’ve been better by child number 2 or 3 or 4.  Nope.  Even on Monday, as they leave one by one for the school bus, I’ll wish them well and hope they have a great first day of school and breathe a sigh of relief for the break after a kid-filled summer.  But before my other mom friends show up for our annual coffee, I’ll wipe away a tear or two.  Because I’m one year closer to them taking bigger steps to head out into the world.

And I hear that maternal clock ticking away.

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