Can we stop with the “make this post go viral” posts?

While we're at it, stop the other version, too: the “bet the news won’t tell you this” posts.

The subject of these posts is generally some good thing, a feel good announcement. A dad playing with his kids or putting his cute little girl’s hair up in a puffy-ponytail. A group of friends who all graduated high school together. A set of twins that graduated college. A group of boys who are smartly dressed in khakis and button-down shirts and ties.  The people are always Black. Or at least the ones that come across my timeline. Maybe there’s a White version of these, too, they just don’t fill my social media feed (aside from the one of the girls who rearranged themselves from their class photo to spell the N-word – my how proud their parents must be.) 

Anyway, the premise is: look, here’s some folks who are doing good and the news won’t tell you about them.

So here’s some things to think about for those people who want these things to “go viral.”

• The news trades on bad news. Shootings, bank robberies, bad traffic, celebrity death. Every now and then a “feel good” personal interest story. But for the most part – house on fire, drug bust, kid stealing a bicycle, 2 feet of snow. They don’t really do “good news” a whole lot.

• These are people doing stuff they are supposed to do. That’s not news. These people aren’t doing anything extraordinary – they’re doing exactly what they are expected to do. Take care of their kids, wear proper clothing, graduate from school. Its not supposed to be on the news anymore than you going to the grocery store and buying a gallon of milk. Sure, you could go to the corner and buy crack (if that’s where you buy crack, I’m not even sure) and that would make the news – because that’s interesting and not the norm. Mom going to buy milk? Yawn. Dad combing his daughter’s hair – okay, maybe not the “norm,” and probably cute, but interesting enough to go viral? Unless the dad is really really fine…. Yawn.

I get it – the idea of these should-be-viral photos is to disprove the negative stereotypes of (Black) people by showing proof of (Black) people being good. But that’s an odd argument to me. Look- we can do good stuff, put it on the news – makes it seem like some kind of anomaly, rather than the norm. Its almost like an argument of proof that’s disproving itself. (There may be some mathematical definition to this but I took Logic long time ago.)

Its like when you get on your kid about sneaking cookies and they’re like “why do you always fuss about me being bad. Why don’t you ever say ‘good job’ for me sitting down quietly or doing my homework?” Because they’re supposed to do that stuff!

Finally - Who the heck knows the magic formula for things going viral? Like that gold or blue dress and that silly guy eating Patti LaBelle’s sweet potato pies. What? Why? Generally, it at least takes something being very sexy or very stupid. I imagine both would really create a viral-storm to break the internet.  But generally it is not stuff that someone says “make this go viral.”

So post the pics of your husband doing your daughter's hair and the kids reading books on the subway. Allow folks to "like" or RT or share. Let people enjoy. But stop telling us to make it go viral.

Next rant….folks who post stuff and tell you that if you type “Amen” in the comments God’s going to bless you. I need a Biblical citation. Where did Jesus say that?

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New Party Rule - Collect All Phones

For various reasons, I've stayed in a hotel for three weekends in the past month.  And each weekend, there have been teen-oriented celebrations - proms, pre-prom parties, Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, sweet 16s. I've been amazed at the amount of parties a kid has and the amount of money spent on them!   Seeing these kids come and go into their parties, I noticed a trend and realized there needs to be a new party rule: "Enter and drop your phone in the basket, collect it on your way home."

If you've read my previous posts, you know I've been dragged into this trend that kids "need" a phone.  Although I've given in to them having a phone, I don't approve of my kids playing on their phones at the dinner table, prefer for them to interact with the people in front of them, and do try to teach them when it's appropriate to ignore the world around them and play video games (not in church.)  Now that it seems inevitable that children will soon be issued their phone number along with their social security number, we should at least teach them how to still be social - with real people, not just with social media.

The teen parties at the hotel were filled with DJs, live bands, food stations, beverage bars, cocktail bars (presumably for the parents), games - everything you could pack into a ballroom celebration.  But yet, over on the steps, scattered across the floor away from the party room, were teens and pre-teens, by themselves or maybe in pairs, tapping on their phones and charging their gadgets.  They were missing all the real-life fun for what? Texting "hi, what r u doing?" to another friend, ignoring another real-life event? Some were taking selfies. Standing in an empty hotel hallway. Couldn't you go into the party just for a more interesting background, at least?


It's not just the parties. Last week, we were at the beach.  Next to us, a line of teens sat with their backs to the water, all tapping on their phones. Every now and then, one of them would look up, glance around, and then go back to tapping. Oh, and of course, take a selfie, with the water in the background.

For the sake of being active on social media, our kids are losing the ability to actually be social.

Flip through education articles and you'll see there's plenty of discussions about how to teach kids to play, be nice to each other, negotiate with each other - part of what's referred to as social and emotional learning. It's the stuff you learn naturally when you actually interact with people rather than typing them a message or sending them a picture of yourself. Now we need adult-led lessons to learn what used to be developed on the kickball field.  Surely, I'm not the only one bothered by this regression in development.

But since the phones don't seem to be going away, I'm off to find a pretty basket to collect phones when my kids' friends come over. You know, so that they can actually talk to each other or some old-fashioned thing like that.

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