Showing posts with label toys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label toys. Show all posts

Friday, December 13, 2013

Does Race Matter at Barbie's House?

It’s the rush of the holidays – wander up and down the aisles of the toy store looking for the perfect doll to go under the tree. A Barbie, a baby doll, a little friend doll. A swimmer, a horseback rider, a teacher, a fashion model; one that eats, one that poops, one that sings.  And one that looks like my daughter?



It’s the constant debate and decision – does the doll’s race matter?  We’ve all heard of the famous doll experiment where researchers gave little girls two dolls, one Black, one White, and asked which they preferred.  For reasons debated and discussed and dissected since then, the Black girls often chose the White doll.  For parents of color, that has left us in the quandary, which doll to get our daughters?  And then, what if the one she really really wants, the one that has a puppy or the one that laughs, is only available in White?  Our Baby Alive speaks Spanish, despite no one in the house being able to do so at the time, why? Because, she was the brown doll available.  Yeah, it’s that deep.

The doll experiment and social scientists since then, and parents, too, have expressed the concern that if little brown girls play with little white dolls, perhaps they will not realize how beautiful they themselves are. Perhaps they will not appreciate their own tight curls and brown skin, instead idolizing long, silky locks and bright blue eyes.  Some parents even argue that the brown Barbies emulate this same ideal of beauty, with their own long, black tresses, making little brown girls wish to have their hair permed and straightened and flowing down their back.  I wonder, do White mothers have these concerns about their daughters playing with brown dolls?

With 3 daughters, I’ve thought about this a lot.  Each time I stand in the doll aisle, I wonder, does it matter? My daughters hear that they are pretty and beautiful and are smart from us, their parents and their family. We watch TV and movies and talk about how Beyonce and Halle Barry and Jordan Sparks and Kiki Palmer are pretty. We cheer on Gabby Douglas and the Williams sisters for their athleticism. They know my friends, Black women, who are lawyers and nurses and mathematicians and professors – smart women.  Do they have to have all of that reinforced in their dolls?

I will admit, a few white dolls have wandered into our home.  Our Barbie community includes brown, white, even Asian.   Some are blonde, some brunette.  Some have really large heads.  They have curly hair, straight hair, and bad haircuts.  Some wear  fabulous shoes, one wears ice skates, some have no feet at all.  They live in the same big townhouse, share a purple convertible, trade shoes and dresses, wait patiently to get their hair braided, and sit at the same dinner table.  They all seem to get along.

And in this day, where they go to school with children from countries all over the world, with a girl from the Philipines on one side, a boy from Ethiopia on the other, a classmate who speaks Chinese and one who speaks French, one who is the fastest runner, and one who is in a wheelchair, a friend who lives in a mansion, and friend who lives in an apartment – this, this existence in harmony, is the lesson that I want them to learn.  And maybe Barbie and her friends will help teach it to them.



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Monday, September 9, 2013

Leave Barbie to Her Pink Kingdom



Barbie and I had to have a talk this morning, she was very nervous about losing her pink kingdom.  Why?  We heard about this “Let Toys Be Toys” campaign that encourages toy stores not to continue in “gender marketing”, i.e. putting all the boys toys together in the blue aisles and the girls toys together in the pink aisles.  And if you aren’t sure what “boys’ toys” are, that general means the G.I Joe’s, Nerf aresenal, trucks, and Legos.  The “girls’ toys” include Barbie, the big head doll for hairstyling, tea sets, and princess dress-up clothes.  The campaign has convinced Toys R’ Us – U.K. to get rid of the gender designations in their toy aisles.

Why do we want to move all the toys around and make it even harder to find anything?  Boys (usually) like playing with trucks, girls (generally) like to play with dolls.  Every now and then a boy will set up a tea party and a girl will shoot someone with a foam dart.  We’re all cool with that. Why do we have to rearrange the toy store so that we can’t find nothing during the frantic shopping for Christmas or 15 minutes before our kid’s friend’s birthday party?

It's so simple when all the pink stuff is in the same aisle.
The campaign encourages the stores to arrange toys by “theme or function.”  Isn’t that what the doll aisle and the truck aisle do already? Are we just complaining about the color of the sign at this point? All I know is, as a parent, shopping is quite easy when Barbie and her clothes and cars and horse and pets and friends are all under that bright pink banner. If she’s going to be hanging out with Batman and I’ve got to go to the next aisle to get her pink-mobile from next to the Bat-mobile, I’m gonna be even more frazzled than I usually am when I’m toy shopping.

Even by "theme," my daughter & son are still grabbing the "girl" and "boy" boxes, respectively.
This seems to be another case of where good ole’ fashioned parenting could step in, instead of upsetting everyone else’s life. If you want your son to bake some cookies in the Easy Bake Oven and your daughter to push around a dumptruck, here’s an idea.  Ready? Buy it for them. What about that? You can buy your kid whatever toy you want to, no matter what aisle it’s in, no matter what you think the toy store is forcing upon you. You, mom and dad, get to choose what you spend your hard-earned money or the giftcard from Grandma on. Get your son the toy vacuum and pick up the box of Legos for your daughter. You will not be tackled by the toy police.

Do we really think that by rearranging the toy store, our daughters are going to pick up the tool set and our sons are going to choose the purse set?  I’m not so sure about that. I think it has more to do with the message that we send them at home.  It’s up to you as a parent to convey to your kids that girls can fix stuff around the house and ride skateboards and boys can cook dinner and take care of the coo-ing baby doll. If that’s what you want them to believe, you’ve got to invite your girl into your real garage and your boy into your real kitchen.

We can’t let the toy stores raise our kids. Otherwise, they’ll all think that you can cook anything with a lightbulb and that bullets stick to you with suction cups and no-one gets hurt in warfare.


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