Showing posts with label dads. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dads. Show all posts

Monday, July 13, 2015

Currently...Getting Ready to Go out of Town

I’m going to my sorority conference this week, which means Dad’s in charge at home.  Unfortunately (for him), that means he has all mom-chaffeur duties. Unfortunately (for him), the kids have about fifty-eleven activities this week. And these are the ones I really wanted to attend, the culmination of all the previous mom-miles and waiting hours I’ve put in to practices. Cue: violins and mom-guilt.

Mom-trips are different than dad trips, though, aren’t they? My husband travels a lot for work and when he does he packs his bags, says “bye,” and leaves. That’s it. Pretty easy. With me leaving, my last day home is pretty busy.

Checking the grocery list. Making sure the fridge is stocked with the makings for sandwiches, milk, fresh fruit, easy to cook dinner options, snacks for all the activities. Of course, when I get back, with the exception of the snacks, all this will still be sitting here, fruit getting soft, and to-go containers will be stacked in the trash.

Doing hair. At least the two oldest girls can do their own hair. And the youngest would be fine except that she swims e.v.e.r.y. day and unfortunately she doesn’t have that braid and swim and keep moving hair. The best I can do is put her hair in a couple braids, leave a big bottle of conditioner and cross my fingers.

Downloading my brain onto paper.  I’ve got my routine and who-to-call-in-an-emergency in my head and on my phone. For Dad and kids, I’m printing out the family schedule, with notes on directions, other folks we know who will be there, and packing lists for each event. With full knowledge that I will still get several texts per day about where someone is supposed to be, or I’ll find out when I return that they just skipped some activity.

Packing a book and crochet. Okay, that’s anytime I leave the house, but this takes special thought because whatever I take, I’m stuck with until I get back. Unless I go to a bookstore or find a yarn shop while I’m gone.

Getting in my last hugs. Every time I leave my kids, and it’s not even that often since there’s not too many full-time mom reasons to leave the kids (not legal ones anyway), I start missing them before I even leave. I get this weight of sadness of all the things that I will miss while I’m gone.  I kinda hope that all my whinings reminders of “put your plates in the sink,” “hang up your towels,” “get your summer work done” will kick in while I’m gone, my voice ringing in their heads.  At best, this new-found responsibility will continue when I return.  Or worse, what if they realize how much they can get along without me, that I’m easily replaceable by Uber, Chinese take-out, and a housecleaning service? Leaving can be a bit risky.


Here I go. Packing my bags, hoping my family will be intact and take me back on my return.

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Monday, January 13, 2014

There's More Than 1 Good Dad Out There

Last week a photo went viral - it depicted a Black guy (presumably the dad) with a baby attached to him in one of the snuggy things combing another little girl's hair.

Oh my gosh! You would've thought that it was a pic of a guy solving world hunger or flying with a jet pack to the moon.  Folks acted like they never seen a dad being a good dad before.

Okay, I'm not living under a perfect family rock. I know that there are guys out there fathering kids by women who aren't their wives (or, ahem, fiancees), guys who've got babies the same age from two different mommas (is there a term for that, "urban twins" maybe?), guys who've been around town so much that they could fill a classroom with their offspring, and guys who kick back on the couch watching ESPN while their wife and mother of their children cook with one hand, check homework with one eye, watch the baby with the other eye, and fold laundry with the other hand.  Yes, I know there are some deadbeat, no good, raggedy men posing as fathers out there or even hiding from the title of "dad."

But there are good dads out there, too.  Dads who marry their babies' momma and don't have any "outside" kids.  Dads who walk their kids to school and volunteer in the PTA.  Dads who coach their kid's basketball team and cheer on their chess match.  Dads who brush their daughter's hair and help her pick out the perfect leggings to go with her dress.  Dads who (gasp!) even pay their child support.  Dads who cook dinner and dads who help with homework.

How does one find one of these good dads for their kids?  I have to go along with my mother's own comments, here.  We, as women, have to be more picky about our choices in men.  If we want a dad that's going to stick around, perhaps we shouldn't go with the guy who already has five kids scattered around town.  If we want the dad who is going to cook sometimes, maybe not pick the dude who has pizza boxes and carryout containers piled in the kitchen.  If you want the guy who is going to help your kid get through school, look for the guy who values education and goals.  In general, pick a guy who shows some kind of loving and caring nature about him, so that if things end up not going so well between mom and dad, the kids still have a reliable dad, even if he's not physically and emotionally with their mother.  Yeah, I know, sometimes the guys a wolf in sheep's clothing, and you can get caught totally off-guard.  But sometimes, it's a wolf in wolf's clothing, too, and women still stick their hand out.

The pic of the dad and his girls is cute, no doubt.  I admit, I smiled when I saw it and that "aww, how cute."  But the sad thing about it?  Folks are acting like it's some anomoly. Some amazing proof of this other life-form: the good dad, like we finally got an undeniable photo of BigFoot.  I know there's some other proof. I've just got this feeling that there are some other good dads out there.  Am I right?  Share in the comments any proof to support this theory.

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