New Party Rule - Collect All Phones

For various reasons, I've stayed in a hotel for three weekends in the past month.  And each weekend, there have been teen-oriented celebrations - proms, pre-prom parties, Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, sweet 16s. I've been amazed at the amount of parties a kid has and the amount of money spent on them!   Seeing these kids come and go into their parties, I noticed a trend and realized there needs to be a new party rule: "Enter and drop your phone in the basket, collect it on your way home."

If you've read my previous posts, you know I've been dragged into this trend that kids "need" a phone.  Although I've given in to them having a phone, I don't approve of my kids playing on their phones at the dinner table, prefer for them to interact with the people in front of them, and do try to teach them when it's appropriate to ignore the world around them and play video games (not in church.)  Now that it seems inevitable that children will soon be issued their phone number along with their social security number, we should at least teach them how to still be social - with real people, not just with social media.

The teen parties at the hotel were filled with DJs, live bands, food stations, beverage bars, cocktail bars (presumably for the parents), games - everything you could pack into a ballroom celebration.  But yet, over on the steps, scattered across the floor away from the party room, were teens and pre-teens, by themselves or maybe in pairs, tapping on their phones and charging their gadgets.  They were missing all the real-life fun for what? Texting "hi, what r u doing?" to another friend, ignoring another real-life event? Some were taking selfies. Standing in an empty hotel hallway. Couldn't you go into the party just for a more interesting background, at least?


It's not just the parties. Last week, we were at the beach.  Next to us, a line of teens sat with their backs to the water, all tapping on their phones. Every now and then, one of them would look up, glance around, and then go back to tapping. Oh, and of course, take a selfie, with the water in the background.

For the sake of being active on social media, our kids are losing the ability to actually be social.

Flip through education articles and you'll see there's plenty of discussions about how to teach kids to play, be nice to each other, negotiate with each other - part of what's referred to as social and emotional learning. It's the stuff you learn naturally when you actually interact with people rather than typing them a message or sending them a picture of yourself. Now we need adult-led lessons to learn what used to be developed on the kickball field.  Surely, I'm not the only one bothered by this regression in development.

But since the phones don't seem to be going away, I'm off to find a pretty basket to collect phones when my kids' friends come over. You know, so that they can actually talk to each other or some old-fashioned thing like that.

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Do you need to #unplug?

How many hours a day are you plugged in - checking email, scrolling thru Facebook, tweeting, instagramming, pinning, flapping your wings - all of that? I'll admit, I spend a good part of my day in front of a screen, whether it be a little teeny one, a medium, purse-sized one, or the big one on my desk. As a writer, blogger, and involved community person, I feel justified that I "need" to be connected. But okay, maybe not as much as I am.

 

I came across the NationalDayofUnplugging.com - a site, and I guess, you could say a movement, holiday, or cause, to encourage folks to unplug - for just one day, March 7-8, sundown to sundown. Ironically, or perhaps appropriately, I found out about it in a twitter chat, hosted by @MamasMashUp, 3 bloggers who go by this joint moniker, bringing you different perspectives on motherhood. Would I commit to turning off my phone, iPad, and computer for 24 hours? Whew. Had to think about that and what else I had to do during that time.

 

I have been thinking about this idea of unplugging though.  Partly because, thanks to all of our snow days, I have realized how much of my time I do spend on the computer while my kids have been circling around trying to entertain themselves. For the record, we are all busy right now, me on this blog post, they on their math workbooks and reading.  Also, while away this past weekend without Internet access, I realized how much "free" time I had to enjoy doing stuff like reading a book and taking a nap. So I admit, I could cull a few hours and still be productive. In fact, maybe more so when I'm focused. A week or so ago, I decided that I would set a timer  for my online tasks. Amazing the amount of tasks you actually get done when you're not reading the million tweets that scroll by.

 

There's not just the time reading all the stuff, but producing it, too. How often have we gone to a show, concert, game, or even to the playground with the kids and spent most of the time trying to snap a photo, make a video clip, and post it online to share... all while missing the full enjoyment of the thing?  Admittedly, this is one of my pet peeves to be somewhere and have all these phones and iPads blocking my view; and I try not to be one of those people.

 

This idea of unplugging is two-pronged (at least in my view).  One - reducing the amount of time online for the sake of productivity. Two - encouraging and reminding us to be in the moment.

 

What about you? Or, what about your kids? Do you need to unplug, even a little bit? Will you commit to a 24-hour day or an hour a day? 

When you are plugged in, like Just Piddlin' on Facebook and follow the conversation on Twitter @JustPiddlinBlog.

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