Currently... Distracted

It's the middle of the afternoon and I'm trying to catch up on my day. You ever have those days? It seems like the whole day is open and you're going to get a bunch of stuff done. And then somebody calls you, then someone else sends you an email you have to respond to right away, and then you've got to go out for something and next thing you know.... here come the school buses. Today was one of those days.  So I'm currently catching up because of the distractions of my day.

Raccoons.  This morning while I was drinking my coffee, I saw a huge thing in the tree, screamed and alerted the kids and the dog.  It was high up in the tree so it could've been any kind of tree-climbing thing - a bear, a monkey. Turned out it was two big fat raccoons. Note - animal control will not come for "normal acting" raccoons.  So now, they are somewhere in my yard.  I'm a bit nervous for my dog and kids.

Emails. I've been trying to decide if it's more efficient to answer all my email during certain concentrated times throughout the day.  It seems like a good plan, rather than checking in and responding whenever I'm bored or procrastinating. I've found it helps if I log out when I'm done, because it's just enough effort to remember my password and sign back in that I won't bother.

Phone calls. Remember way back in the day, before we wore our phones attached to our hands and you could not answer the phone without having to explain why you didn't answer the phone?  Now, if you don't pick up by the third ring, the person on the other end is so frustrated that they have to leave a message and you better have an excuse note as to why you didn't answer.  And, apparently, "I didn't feel like it" or "I was watching Shark Tank" does not cut it.

Texts. We know we all get distracted by texts since there's entire campaigns and phone gadgets to get you not to check or answer your texts when you are driving. And - like your phone calls - if you do not reply within 5 minutes, you better have a really good excuse.  If you're driving? You've got to do the #X thing so people will know you are driving and can't answer. Which leads to my confusion: aren't we not supposed to be texting and driving, how do you type #X?  And more important - why, why are we so impatient that I must tell you why I didn't answer your text right away about what is the name of that guy in that movie?



Getting my kid from the busstop.  See item #1: Raccoons.


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New Party Rule - Collect All Phones

For various reasons, I've stayed in a hotel for three weekends in the past month.  And each weekend, there have been teen-oriented celebrations - proms, pre-prom parties, Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, sweet 16s. I've been amazed at the amount of parties a kid has and the amount of money spent on them!   Seeing these kids come and go into their parties, I noticed a trend and realized there needs to be a new party rule: "Enter and drop your phone in the basket, collect it on your way home."

If you've read my previous posts, you know I've been dragged into this trend that kids "need" a phone.  Although I've given in to them having a phone, I don't approve of my kids playing on their phones at the dinner table, prefer for them to interact with the people in front of them, and do try to teach them when it's appropriate to ignore the world around them and play video games (not in church.)  Now that it seems inevitable that children will soon be issued their phone number along with their social security number, we should at least teach them how to still be social - with real people, not just with social media.

The teen parties at the hotel were filled with DJs, live bands, food stations, beverage bars, cocktail bars (presumably for the parents), games - everything you could pack into a ballroom celebration.  But yet, over on the steps, scattered across the floor away from the party room, were teens and pre-teens, by themselves or maybe in pairs, tapping on their phones and charging their gadgets.  They were missing all the real-life fun for what? Texting "hi, what r u doing?" to another friend, ignoring another real-life event? Some were taking selfies. Standing in an empty hotel hallway. Couldn't you go into the party just for a more interesting background, at least?


It's not just the parties. Last week, we were at the beach.  Next to us, a line of teens sat with their backs to the water, all tapping on their phones. Every now and then, one of them would look up, glance around, and then go back to tapping. Oh, and of course, take a selfie, with the water in the background.

For the sake of being active on social media, our kids are losing the ability to actually be social.

Flip through education articles and you'll see there's plenty of discussions about how to teach kids to play, be nice to each other, negotiate with each other - part of what's referred to as social and emotional learning. It's the stuff you learn naturally when you actually interact with people rather than typing them a message or sending them a picture of yourself. Now we need adult-led lessons to learn what used to be developed on the kickball field.  Surely, I'm not the only one bothered by this regression in development.

But since the phones don't seem to be going away, I'm off to find a pretty basket to collect phones when my kids' friends come over. You know, so that they can actually talk to each other or some old-fashioned thing like that.

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Remind Me Why my Child Has a Cell-Phone?

I was a freshman in college when I got my own phone. Actually, no, that wasn’t really my own phone because I shared it with my room-mate. So, I was a first-year grad student who lived by myself in another state 5 hours away from my parents when I got my own phone.  Ten years older than my children who have phones that they carry around in their pockets and backpacks.  Just thought I’d mention that to put this whole “kids need a phone for their safety” nonsense into perspective.

When we got their phones, it was because I never had a pair of Jordache jeans (it makes more sense in this previous post).  It was not in any way because I felt my kids, who are always around an adult, needed a phone, or even, deserved a phone.  It was regular old peer pressure and wanting to provide stuff for our kids.  But, I did expect that possibly, maybe, I would get some related benefit from my kids having a communication advice attached to their hip 24-hours.  Wasn’t I wrong.

I realized how wrong I was as I sat waiting for my daughter to call me to tell me when her sports activity was over.  Basically, the text exchange went something like this:

Me (at 3 p.m.): When will you be done, I can pick you up at 5:30 or 6:30.  Context: Because I have to drop-off/pick-up your younger brother at 5pm and 6 pm and you are ½ an hour away.
Her (at 5:30): I’m done and ready now.  Context: She apparently forgot that I do not fly a time machine and can instantly get from one end of the county to the other and back during rush hour within 30 minutes.
Me (at 5:30): You’ll have to wait until 6:30.

If you have a teenager, you can imagine the pouty face – in emoticon and real-life - that followed because she was being so inconvenienced.

Instead of being useful and saving me time and effort, like I was kinda hoping for, I have found that we are paying the telecomm companies for the privilege of being ignored by our chlildren, even when they aren't near us.  These little iDevices are making my kids lazy, impatient, and terrible planners as evidenced by these text messages (text, because apparently the voice feature does not work for anyone under the age of 18):

• I forgot my _____ can you bring it to school?  The “blank” varies each day: lunch, shoes (don’t ask), homework.  Note, this should actually read: “my very important homework that I worked on all last night and you told me to put away in my binder and I said “okay” but actually didn’t, instead leaving it on the kitchen table.”  This one often goes to Daddy who is nicer than Mommy.
• I’m ready for you to pick me up.  Of course, they mean now, although I am on the other side of town/in a meeting/at the other kid's school and told them to give me 30 minutes lead time.
• Where are you?  This, when I am 2 minutes late picking them up.
• I’m coming.  This, when I have been waiting for them for ten minutes.

But, every now and then, there’s this one.

• Thanx. Love you.  When I'm really lucky, after I've dropped off the lunch/shoes/homework, or sent Daddy to do it.

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Cell-phone Cameras - More than taking photos of the kids

When they first started putting cameras on cell-phones, I wasn’t too impressed.  I didn’t think I would use it that much, seeing as I already owned a camera.  What was the point? I thought.  I got a phone with a camera just because there was no other option.  Of course now, like everybody else, I expect not only that my phone would have a camera, but that it be a good camera.  Grainy, low-quality photos just wouldn’t cut it in this post-photos-to-social-media age.

The other day, I was reading a blog with suggestions on how to use a phone-camera to organize your life.  What a concept!  Actually make this instant photo capability productive.  There were about five suggestions, some of which I thought were more trouble than they were worth.  She suggested to take a photo of the cables on the back of your computer/TV/other electronic thing with a lot of cords and label them with a photo-editor.  This is one of those things that sounds like a good idea in theory, but I’ll never do that.  Although, I am in the process of labeling the wires and cords in my house with plain ol’ real-life white labels and a Sharpie, because I am realizing how many look-alike cords we have and I’m tired of having to try to match the plug-in part to each device when I need to charge or plug something in.  

Labeling all the black wires and cords that charge our life.

But back to the photos…

One idea the blogger suggested that I really liked: when you don’t have time to make a grocery list, take a quick photo of your refrigerator and/or pantry to refer to when you are shopping.  What a great idea!  Had I done that before my last grocery trip, I wouldn’t now have 4 containers of cherry tomatoes in the refrigerator and only 1 person in the house who likes cherry tomatoes (me).  This could also be useful when clothes shopping, when you are going out looking for something to match a piece you already own.  Or even shoe shopping so you don’t buy another pair of black heels just like a pair you already own. 

Here’s a few additional ways that I use my phone for other practical purposes.

Record scores – At my son’s swim meets, the scores and finishes are recorded for each race – a listing of every swimmer, their time and place.  He likes to know all of that and I usually copy it down for him.  But at the big meets, there’s such a jostle of parents all doing the same thing, it gets a bit hectic and dare I say, a little pushy.  I snap a photo of the sheets for his race and look at them in peace at my seat.

Copy magazine recipes, sidebars – You’re sitting in the doctor’s office, flipping though magazines and come across a recipe for a delicious looking chocolate cake.  What do you do – tear out the page, try to scribble down the recipe on a piece of paper you find in your purse or take the magazine?  (We could get into a whole ‘nother discussion about taking the magazine, but we’ll save that for another day.)  

I’ve started just taking a photo of it, then leaving the magazine intact for the next person. 

“I could make that” – my DIY motto.  
I rarely pass a crocheted or knitted piece that I don’t investigate to see if I could make myself.  Now, if I ever get around to it, again, another story.  But as I’m walking through the mall, I will take a photo of a scarf, sweater, hat, anything that I like that I am confident I could source the right yarn and create it myself.  This habit has even spread to my friends who will take a picture of some yarn-y thing they’ve found and send it to me with a note, “can you make this?”  I will even do this to clothing pieces someone is actually wearing, but you’ve got to be really careful about that, strangers will look at you kinda suspiciously if you stare at them too long then take their picture.

Summer top I found at the mall - I'm still trying to figure out how to do those long straight runs of yarn

Surprisingly, I don’t use my cell phone to take a lot of pictures of my kids, as you would probably expect any good mom would do.  I realized this when I ran into an old friend this summer and she asked, of course, to see a photo of the kids.  I laughed as I flipped through photos of food I had eaten, stuff I wanted to buy, and crocheted pieces I wanted to make, and finally came across a silly photo of the 4 at the beach.  But hey, that’s my kids.

How do you use your cellphone camera?

*Note – I would love to give credit to the blogger with the idea about taking a pic of your refrigerator, but I don’t remember who it was.  If I come across the article again, I will update with proper credit.

The Technophile & His Wife

This is my husband shopping for my new phone - via text from wherever he is because I never invite him to come to the phone store with me:

Get the [insert whatever phone came out yesterday].  It runs on an Android platform.  You need 16GB.  Its the 4G.  It has gazillion megabytes of electronical Wi-Fi hotspots and doo-dads.   (Okay this last part is what it was received as in my brain, probably not what he said.)

This is me shopping for my new phone - standing in front of the display of 500 phones in the store:

Hmmm, only comes in blue or white, huh?  What do the covers look like?

But to be fair, I've got my strengths and areas of expertise, too.  

This is my husband wanting a hat: Can you make me a hat, it's getting cold?

This is me offering to make my husband a hat - looking through my stash of yarn (let's not say how many skeins are in there):  Sure.  Do you want it in wool, that would be really warm.  But it might be itchy.  I'm starting to like alpaca, that's not itchy.  What about cashmere, that's warm and not itchy, but a little more expensive.  But its just a hat, so the expense won't be too bad.  Maybe I could get a silk blend, silk is actually pretty warm when stitched tightly and its smooth. 

My husband still wanting a hat: Make it black.

I guess opposites do attract.

Blame it on the jeans

We finally broke down and got our middle-schooler a phone.  But not for all those reasons people suggest getting a 12-year old an expensive (I didn't even want to ask my husband how much it cost) toy with a monthly fee.  She might need to call me if I'm late picking her up: why, why would she need to call me?  I'm late - wait 'til I get there.  She may need to tell me her bus is running late: I'd figure that out when the bus didn't come.  She forget her homework/lunch: too bad, I don't deliver homework/lunch to school.  She needs to ask me something: she's in school she doesn't need to ask me anything.  I need to remind her I'm picking her up: by the time she gets my phone message, she'll be on the bus, so I call the school office, anyway.  She's finished practice early: wait, surely the adults in charge won't leave her by herself and, I'm sure they have their own phone to call me if needed.  Nope, I wasn't moved for any of those reasons.  So what was it, why did I decide to get her the phone?

When I was in middle and high school, the cool girls had designer jeans.  If they didn't, they had something else - LeSac purses or new sneakers or great neon off-the-shoulder sweatshirts, but mostly, they had the jeans.  I never had any of that stuff.  I know, poor me, right?  Could my parents afford them?  I don't know.  That was never the point - they just said they weren't getting them, I didn't need them.  I was never picked on or anything like that, but I still felt left out of the "look at my Jordache" conversations.  It didn't seem like a big deal, but since its still affecting my decision making almost 30 years later, maybe it was bigger than I thought.

So, because I never had a pair of Jordache jeans, we got our daughter a phone, and her dad being the tech-y, she's got a pretty cool phone.  And for good measure, my other daughter has a everything-but-a-phone device.  They're ever grateful to Santa, but they should be thankful to their grandmother, too.

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