I Wonder What My Kids Are Having For Lunch

180 days, August through June, I pack four lunches.  Sandwiches, quesadillas, bowls of rice - I try to pack a variety.  Some cookies or chips, a box of milk or juice, a bottle of water, a bag of grapes. I think I do pretty good for my own fast-food to-go operation.  Add to this the to-go dinners on sports practice and game nights.  So when summer comes - the folks are on their own.

I don't think I've made lunch since the last school bell. I do my part - I buy bread, sliced turkey, cheese, hot dogs, peanut butter and other random lunch fixin's.  And because of morning swim practices, I haven't really been on schedule to cook breakfast, either. But I do sometimes because I love a hot biscuit and a bowl of grits every now and then.  In general, however, I assume that at some point, my able bodied children will realize that they are hungry, amble from the couch all the way to the kitchen and fix themselves something to eat.

I used to feel guilty about not making them breakfast, lunch and dinner during the summer months. What if they whither away to nothing, go back to school all emaciated and CPS comes looking for me?  I've since decided that that's not even a close possibility.  I've determined that I am not abandoning my children, I'm teaching them to feed themselves.

Yes, there are some days that its about 5 o'clock where one of them realizes that they haven't eaten all day and hey, what is Mommy going to do about it?  But for the most part, someone hears their stomach grumble, remembers that someone has already done the hunting and gathering, and all they have to do is put it all on a couple slices of bread.

They seem to be surviving.  Next step - get them to make me something, too.

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PSA: Don't Leave Your Kid in the Hot Car

Let me take a break from piddlin’ to get to something serious.

DON’T LEAVE YOUR KID IN THE CLOSED-UP HOT CAR!

I know, I get it. It’s tempting. You’re just going to run in to [the store, your friend’s house, the office, the nail salon, the job interview, whatever] for just a minute and you’ll be right out. And the baby’s sleep. And you had the air condition on so it’s still kinda cool, especially if you park over there in the shade. And you’ll be so much faster if you go it alone.  It’ll just be a minute.  And then there’s a really long line in the store because the lady up ahead doesn’t understand what “Express Lane 10 Items or Less” means and forgot her credit card, but not her coupons, and is paying in nickels.  Or your friend has just one more thing to tell you, this is a good one, and then she’ll let you go because she knows you left the baby outside, but it won’t take long.  And while you’re in the office, can you help fix the copier because no-one else has that special fix-it touch like you do. In the meantime, your baby’s out there in her own private, glass-enclosed sauna.  And if you are lucky, she’s just sweating and screaming at the top of her little vocal chords when you rush back and let a hot breeze into the car.

I know. I get it. I’ve got four kids and there were so many times I thought, “oh, but this will go so much quicker if I don’t have to unbuckle them and juggle a sleeping baby, my purse, my coffee, and shopping bags.”  In fact, the other day, I went to the grocery store and as I parked my 9-year old informed me that she didn’t have any pants to wear (we were coming from swimming practice.)  Ugh. Leave her in the car alone with the window open, let her walk around the grocery store in a bathing suit, or go home and come back later?  I just needed to pick up a couple things, it wouldn’t take more than a few minutes. I ended up going home, no eggs, no milk.  So, yes, I get it.

Recently, people have made various suggestions on how not to forget your kid in the car, since that seems to be a problem, too. And I get that one, too. Kinda. Because I've been there, too.  I've been in the grocery store, looked down into the empty plastic seat in the cart, and panicked, "Where's my kid?" Wondered if I left her in the car or if someone stole her out the cart while I was checking out the tomatoes, but then remembered that she was home with her dad.  And maybe because I do have this terrible fear that I will be the mom who leaves her kid at a rest-stop or home sleeping, I do check that my kid is somewhere near me when I go out.  I don't know how to advise you not to forget your kid.  Just really really try hard not to.  Put your shoes in the carseat when you're driving somewhere, tie a bungy chord across the door frame tied to the carseat, tie a bell to your kid's arm, post a picture of your kid on your car window, set a reminder on your phone. I don't know what will work for you, but do think of something so that you will never ever  forget your kid.  Note - this is in no way saying that I'm the perfect mom, but pretty lucky thus far.

As for that dad in Georgia who left his 22-month old to die?  He’s guilty. Yes, I’m sayin’ it, as a member of the jury of public opinion. And, I’m even thinking, bring that mom in, too.  I know some folks will be all “but he deserves his day in court” and “it was a mistake.”  Let’s set aside the “how-to” Google-ing about sweltering in a car, the question about insurance money, the debt, or even the sexting while at work.  Let’s just look at the parenting part.  An infant sits backwards in a carseat, the parent really has no visual contact with the baby, and when they aren’t screaming, babies are somewhat quiet.  Maybe, maybe on a really hectic, unfocused day you could forget he’s back there. Maybe.  Not a 22-month old.  They face forward.  They will see you get out of the car and most likely become alarmed if you slam the door and do not take them with you.  Which, it would be kinda hard not to see the person right behind you, staring you in the face.  Or hear them, because 22-month olds are babblers. They talk about everything – the bird over there, the sky, the song they learned at daycare, their feet. They are not very quiet creatures.  But let’s say somehow, a parent leaves a babbling, looking you in your face kid in the backseat.  Then said parent comes back to the car hours later at lunch break.  You don’t notice your sweaty, maybe crying, maybe sleep, maybe passed out kid in the backseat?  Tell me, you can go to your car, reach in for something and not notice a person in there, even a little one.  Then you slam the door and leave that little person again.  And when the daycare notifies the other parent that the kid didn’t make it to daycare, that parent’s response is “oh, dad must’ve left him in the car.”  Really?  Not, “hmm, what happened?” No, “that’s odd, I didn’t think it was take-your-kid-to-work day.”  Not even, “oh my gracious, my husband has run off and kidnapped my kid!”  It’s “he must’ve left him in the hot-a** car all day.”  Get them both, Mr. & Mrs.

In the meantime, don’t leave your baby in the car.  Stay safe and enjoy your summer.

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10 Things to Do on the Longest Days of the Summer

We’re heading into the for-real official, according to the sun, first day of summer marked by the longest day of the year.  According to the weather folks, the days around June 21 will also be relatively long, too. And hot.  So what to do with all these extra hours of sunlight?  A few ideas.

Cook early.  Don’t spend the mid-day in the kitchen.  Plan an easy meal that you can prep and cook early.  Pull out the crock-pot in the morning, try my Asian chicken.  I also like pasta salads for this reason - they’re easy and versatile.  You can change up the ingredients, but also tweak it a little bit for the picky eaters in the house.  

My basic recipe for pasta salad

• Cooked, cooled pasta – I prefer short pastas like rotini or bow-tie, but spaghetti and angel hair work well, too
• Cherry tomatoes
• Green veggie – spinach and asparagus work well
• Crumbled/shredded cheese – mozzarella and feta are tasty choices
• Italian/Caesar salad dressing – this is a cheat to save figuring out extra seasoning
• Protein options (great use of leftovers): chopped chicken, cold salmon, tuna
• Toss it all in a bowl. Chill.
• Pour a glass of sangria.  Lunch and/or dinner is ready. Ta da!

Cook late. Wait til the sun’s gone done a little bit and toss a few burgers or fish on the grill.  Throw some veggies and corn on the cob on there, too. And then finish it off with dessert, like our Campfire Banana S’mores.

Take an early evening walk. Alone, with the family or just the dog, depending on what kind of day you’ve had.  When the sun starts it’s descent, enjoy the little bit of warmth left and the quiet of the settling day.

Catch fireflies. This, and catching crayfish during the day time, were two of me and my brother’s favorite summertime activities.  Watching the little bugs light up never seemed to get old. Be sure to punch holes in the top of whatever container your kids are catching them in, and of course, some grass for them to live off of (I don’t really know that that’s what fireflies eat.)  And then, before going in for the evening be sure to let them all go.

Eat ice cream.  In a cone.  The more fresh from the cow, the better. Or at least, not from a box and big name. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got a pint of Ben & Jerry’s somewhere in the freezer, but there’s nothing like fresh-made, from somebody’s personal recipe ice cream. Better yet, make some of your own. I’ve got my ice cream maker in the freezer now.

Enjoy fresh fruit and vegetables.  Stop by a farm stand or farmer’s market.  Or take a basket to a pick-your-own farm for whatever’s in season now. Eat your berries and veggies as is or bake them into a pie or coffee cake or something delicious.  And you’d be surprised what your kids can learn. I’m almost embarrassed to admit one of my kids was perplexed by the fuzzy skin and big pit in the middle of a peach we bought at a road-side fruit stand.

Drink cold, sweet tea.  One of the things I love about living below the Mason-Dixon line is I never had to preface “tea” with “sweet.”  What other way would you drink cold tea?  It’s the simplest thing and I make it by the gallon (which, lasts maybe two days)

• Tea bags: I like Luzianne for iced tea and experiment with some of the flavored teas for a different flavor.  2 or 3 large tea bags per kettle of water (Luzianne tea bags are larger, made for pitchers of tea; use about 4-6 regular size tea bags)
• Pour almost boiling water over tea bags in a plastic pitcher (not glass!)
• Let tea bags seep about 10 minutes
• Add sugar (to taste, I use a lot) while the water is still hot *this is key!
• Add ice, if needed, to fill the pitcher.
• Pour over ice. Enjoy.

Enjoy discounted movies and bowling.  Maybe the heat is too much, after all, so head indoors for a few hours.  We don't go to the movies a lot because, well, because there's six of us.  Same for bowling.  But in the summer, some theaters offer discount movies and it's a great chance to catch up on movies.  Regal Cinemas offer $1 fun kid movies.  A number of bowling alleys, like AMF Bowling, offer either free or discounted games, but you do have to signup for the passes or card.  These are also great rainy summer day activities, too.

Hydrate. In as many ways as possible. Be sure to drink enough water on hot days. But also cool off in the watering hole of your choice – swim at the local community pool, jump in a nearby lake, run through your lawn sprinkler, or dip your feet in the baby pool still sitting in the garage.

Lay in the grass and watch the sky.  That’s all.

Happy summer!

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New Party Rule - Collect All Phones

For various reasons, I've stayed in a hotel for three weekends in the past month.  And each weekend, there have been teen-oriented celebrations - proms, pre-prom parties, Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, sweet 16s. I've been amazed at the amount of parties a kid has and the amount of money spent on them!   Seeing these kids come and go into their parties, I noticed a trend and realized there needs to be a new party rule: "Enter and drop your phone in the basket, collect it on your way home."

If you've read my previous posts, you know I've been dragged into this trend that kids "need" a phone.  Although I've given in to them having a phone, I don't approve of my kids playing on their phones at the dinner table, prefer for them to interact with the people in front of them, and do try to teach them when it's appropriate to ignore the world around them and play video games (not in church.)  Now that it seems inevitable that children will soon be issued their phone number along with their social security number, we should at least teach them how to still be social - with real people, not just with social media.

The teen parties at the hotel were filled with DJs, live bands, food stations, beverage bars, cocktail bars (presumably for the parents), games - everything you could pack into a ballroom celebration.  But yet, over on the steps, scattered across the floor away from the party room, were teens and pre-teens, by themselves or maybe in pairs, tapping on their phones and charging their gadgets.  They were missing all the real-life fun for what? Texting "hi, what r u doing?" to another friend, ignoring another real-life event? Some were taking selfies. Standing in an empty hotel hallway. Couldn't you go into the party just for a more interesting background, at least?


It's not just the parties. Last week, we were at the beach.  Next to us, a line of teens sat with their backs to the water, all tapping on their phones. Every now and then, one of them would look up, glance around, and then go back to tapping. Oh, and of course, take a selfie, with the water in the background.

For the sake of being active on social media, our kids are losing the ability to actually be social.

Flip through education articles and you'll see there's plenty of discussions about how to teach kids to play, be nice to each other, negotiate with each other - part of what's referred to as social and emotional learning. It's the stuff you learn naturally when you actually interact with people rather than typing them a message or sending them a picture of yourself. Now we need adult-led lessons to learn what used to be developed on the kickball field.  Surely, I'm not the only one bothered by this regression in development.

But since the phones don't seem to be going away, I'm off to find a pretty basket to collect phones when my kids' friends come over. You know, so that they can actually talk to each other or some old-fashioned thing like that.

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Currently... Snowed In Again

Less than a week before the little square marked "First Day of Spring" and we've got inches of snow. 4", 5", a foot, I don't know - enough to close school again for the 11th or 55th snowday this year, I've lost count.  They're going to be in school until the July 4th parades at this point.  In the meantime, we're all home.

It's snowing...again. But spring is coming!

Eating... birthday cake and Pi-day apple pie.  We've got two birthdays this month and with Pi Day thrown in, we have a couple week run of desserts.  Right now we've got a basketball-shaped red velvet cake (okay, half a basketball) and an apple pie, sprinkled with snickers bars (thanks, Pinterest.)  All that with coffee, of course.

Reading... I'm reading On The Come Up.  The kids are all supposed to have selected a book, too. Although for them it takes some huffing & puffing, a few rounds of "there's nothing to read" despite the piles and shelves of books around the house, which turns into "I've read all those," at which point I let them know I do not actually believe they've read every book in the house, and if so, there's always the dictionary. Then they manage to find something to read, even if it's the Guiness Book of World Records or Almanac of Weird Facts, at which point, I almost regret making them read because these they must read out loud, sharing all of their newfound knowledge of odd facts.

Playing... out in the snow. Okay, well, not me, the kids.  There's four of them and a couple neighbor kids, they don't really need me.  I've declared recess before lunchtime, just like in school, and sent them out for some physical activity.  It's good for them.


Working out... shorts and t-shirt wardrobe season is coming, I'm sure of it.  I'm committing to exercise more as the winter melts away.  Even stuck in the house, there's always sit-ups, hand weight exercises, inside cardio like jumping jacks and running in place to get the heart moving.  And work off all this birthday cake.

Looking forward to... the end of the snow. It's pretty, it's peaceful, and I really don't complain too much about the weather, not really. But it's terrible weather for suede boots and I'm tired of my all weather boots.  So now I'm going to paint my nails some wonderful spring color and wait for sandal season.
 

Ready for spring... at least my nails are.

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10 Ways to Avoid an "I'm Bored!" Snow Day

“Schools are closed due to snow.”

The music of winter, singing at 5:30 a.m.  On the one hand, it’s a welcome “go head, sleep in” refrain. But when you do finally wake up, you realize that it means you will be in the house with the kids all day long, especially if it’s a wet, yucky snow that’s useless for sledding and snowman building.  Before you start to panic, some ideas of what to do with your kids for those housebound extra hours (or days).

• Enjoy a good breakfast.  How often do you get to enjoy a good breakfast, all sitting down together and chatting in the morning? For us, breakfast is usually a choice of boiled eggs, cereal and toasts, in a rotation of whoever is leaving for school or work next.  Snow days are a great opportunity to scramble some eggs, flip a few pancakes, make potatoes and biscuits, and all eat at once around the table instead of on the way to the bus.

• Bake.  I love baking, my kids love baking, and who doesn’t want warm cookies or muffins on a cold, winter-y day?  Luckily, most quickbreads and basic cookies require only the staples of a kitchen pantry – flour, sugar, an egg or two, milk, oil, salt, baking powder or soda. You can get fancy if you happen to have other ingredients such as chocolate chips, blueberries, nuts, and oatmeal on hand.

• Watch some old TV.  With the millions of channels on TV now, there's always some old show on that's family friendly. You'll get a kick out of watching your old favorites and you'll be surprised at how much your kids will enjoy shows that were really funny.  Gilligan's Island anyone?

• Cut out snowflakes.  I forgot, until I spotted a few on Pinterest, how much I used to love cutting out snowflakes as a kid. It’s still a fun surprise to see what the holes and cuts will look like when you’ve unfolded the paper.

• Keep a stash of random craft supplies on hand and let the kids be creative.  In addition to the norm, like crayons, scissors, and glue sticks, stash the following in a basket and be ready for “I’m bored!”:  buttons – from clothes not in good condition to give away, the spares attached to new clothes; magnets – the free, promotional give-aways or store bought; yarn, string; beads; stickers; plastic bottle tops.  Don't want to be fancy? Color - it’s relaxing and a fun time to just chat with the kids. And show off how well you can stay in the lines.

• Keep a “bored kids” board on Pinterest, for that moment when the kids are losing their creative energy and start throwing buttons at each other and have eaten all the cookies.  Add to it whenever you come across an idea your kids will like.

• Read. Call for quiet reading and everyone to their separate corners or cuddle up on the couch for family reading, silent or aloud. Gauge it by the energy level in the house or the need to settle down.

• Do a little school work.  The kids will complain and whine a little, but remind them that they are only going to do 30 minutes or an hour, and they’re getting out of 6 hours of work at school.  Depending on the grade, you can practice math facts, review lessons in their text books or online, read, or simply write a few paragraphs to practice handwriting or typing skills, grammar, spelling, and creative thinking.

• Clean up, declutter.  Not the most fun thing to do, but snow days can be good catch up days on the housecleaning that gets pushed aside for the busy family schedule.  Limit the time so that the kids can have some fun, though.

• Take a nap.  Who really gets enough sleep on a regular basis?

Oh – and of course, go outside, breathe the cold air, gather a bowl of fresh snow for snow-cream and throw a few snowballs!

What are your favorite activities on a snow day?

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Throwing him in the deep end

My son had a well-decorated summer swim season.  He swam in every meet and won first place, in all events, every week, with the exception of 3 races (all 3 of those 2nd place finishes were behind the same kid).  Now he's swimming on the winter team and its like going from being the fastest fish in a little pond to an average fish in a big pond.

For his first meet, we had to choose what events he wanted to swim.  With some hesitation, he decided on the 100 yard freestyle - four times his normal distance.  He also chose the 50-yard backstroke (twice his normal distance) and the 25-yard butterfly.   This was a big jump into a pool with some really fast fish, but we figured we would let him try it, see how he does.  Well, swimming against kids who've been swimming year round since they could walk, he didn't place anywhere near where he was used to.  As he came over to me, I was preparing to give him the "good try" speech to ward off any upset.  To my surprise, he was smiling.  

"I've improved my time.  I've dropped some seconds off my best times," he said.

I couldn't help but smile at his excitement.  He later said that he was surprised by the speed of the other swimmers, but he was still proud of his own improvements.  I loved it.  I was excited for him that he could see beyond a "loss", realize his own accomplishments, and take pride in himself.  

My little fish is going to be a wonderful big fish one day.

Waiting...all in a mom's day

The street appears to be melting with the rain sliding down the glass. Every few minutes a car speeds by and splashes water against my door. Trying to balance my need for fresh air and the desire not to get my carseats wet, I open the back windows just a fraction of an inch. It's all a part of my rainy day routine. I'm sitting at the corner, waiting for my 2 youngest to hop off their yellow chariot. Then we'll head around the corner to pick up my oldest from her bus-stop. The last one will get home 30-40 minutes later. The car pick-up is an addendum for the wet weather, it’s on top of our regular-day busy schedule. The rain just complicates things by adding wet raincoats and backpacks to the mix. But the sitting and waiting, I'm used to that.

As any mom with busy kids can attest, there's a lot of waiting time. It might be in the car or the waiting area outside of the school gym, class, park, dance studio, or theatre. Our kids are involved in basketball, tennis, swimming, Tae Kwan Do, and drama. No more than 2 share the same activity, and due to their age and skill difference, they do not practice or play at the same time. And they go to 4 different schools. So this leaves our schedule after 3pm a jumble of activities spanning across the county.

All that to say, we spend a lot of time in the car and waiting for someone to finish doing something, rain or shine.

I haven't perfected it yet, but I am working on maximizing the efficiency of this waiting time. Here's a few things that work well for us. And I’m always open to more suggestions.

- Always keep something to read in the car - waiting for kids is a good time to catch up on Real Simple, People, or the daily newspaper.  If you're lucky, you might even be able to string enough time together to read an entire book.

- An alternative to the reading material is any other portable interest or hobby. At times, I have kept a skein of yarn and a crochet hook and stitched up squares. By the end of the year, I had a blanket done.

- Plan ahead for meals. Because we often move from one activity to the next with little time to go home and not everyone eating at the same time or place, it's easy to get caught up in the fast food drive-thru for dinner. On a good day, I cook an easy "on-the-go" meal - something simple, tasty, and portable (and hopefully nutritious). Whether chicken and rice with veggies, spaghetti with sauce, or a quesadilla, I put it in plastic containers, one per child, pack them in our insulated tote, along with a drink, plasticware, and napkins, and we're on our way.   And if you need ChickenOut or Chipotle to help you with this healthy, portable meal - don't feel bad.


- Pack some snacks. For shorter days, throw some snacks and juices/milk/water bottles in a bag for the ride. No matter how you may feel about snacking, they are hungry after school and bored riding around, so save the aggravation and avoid the vending machine. Whether its cookies, crackers and peanut butter, nuts, or fresh fruit – be proactive. And throw something healthy in there for yourself, too.  Or chocolate, whatever keeps you going through the day.

- Keep school supply box in the car so kids can get homework done while waiting for their activity to begin or brother/sister to finish theirs. Load it up with the basics: pencils, pens, crayons, scissors, glue stick, small ruler, small calculator. Contents of course are grade dependent.

- Keep sports/play equipment in the car. Balls, Frisbees - if one kid has an activity at a school or athletic field, let the others run around outside, too and get some fresh air. Deck of cards, coloring book – in case its raining.

- Get your exercise! Moms are notorious for not making time to exercise, so use your waiting time. Walk around the neighborhood. Run around the track. Swim in the other lane when your kid is at swim practice. Hit a tennis ball against the wall. I even keep a set of dumbbells in the car for a quick workout. It may not always be a long workout, but it's better than sitting in the car eating chips (okay, maybe not “better” but healthier).

- Take a nap! What mom doesn't love pulling up to the parking lot with 15 minutes to spare, just long enough for a quick power nap?

Wait - the gym door is opening and the team is filing out.  That's it for now.  Basketball is over, time to get home for bedtime.

Ahh...summer vacation

I remember summer vacation as a long period of endless time to run around outside, until the fireflies came out and the street lights came on.

Having moved a couple times, the particular activities changed, but for the most part, my brother and I roamed the streets with our friends just until it started to get dark. Our earliest summers were spent playing hide-and-seek, riding our bikes, and catching crayfish and tadpoles in what I don’t think was even an actual stream, but more a viaduct connecting two ponds of water (now as an adult, I shiver to think what else was in the water along with our barefeet). We spent one summer with my uncle and aunt who lived in the city. We ran up and down and around the block, playing on the sidewalk and in the little playground behind the row of houses. To go any further, we had to wait for our older cousins. When they showed up, it meant we could go to the candy store. In the meantime, we listened for that familiar tinkle of the bells on the red truck coming down the street. Then we would run inside and beg whatever adult was home for a few quarters to get a sno-ball or a pack of sunflower seeds.

The rest of our childhood summers were spent out in the county (save for one that we spent in S. Korea). We didn’t have to wait on our cousins, but there also weren’t as frequent ice cream trucks, either. We ran around with our neighbors, visited school friends, and walked to the library. We could ride our bikes as far as we lasted, often traveling miles away to other friends’ houses or just wandering.

In the care-free-ness of summer, we explored our small world and filled up our days. We might pass the time building a fort in the woods or lounging on the steps reading a book. All without our parents telling us what we should get from the experience or suggesting what we should do next. We had to actually depend on our own creativity to figure out our day. Or be bored. And boredom, sometimes isn’t so bad.

Its that freedom of the summer that I want my kids to get, now that school is out. Granted, their days have a little bit more structure to them, with swim team practice and basketball league, and of course, those summer workbooks. But other than those couple hours a day, they have the rest of the day to do with what they want.

As kids, our mother hardly ever asked where my brother and I had been as long as we were back home by the time she started looking for us. I know, that’s outrageous for a parent of a 12-year old and 10-year old to do now, right? But. Today, I have allowed such a thing. My girls wanted to go bike-riding and I couldn’t accompany them, so I gave them a few rules – stay on this side of the busy street, ride on the sidewalk when on the busy street, stay together. And I’m trusting that they will come back, tired and excited from their adventure. The 8 and 6-year old are playing outside with a school friend. They are climbing in the playhouse and seem to be doing just fine.

Its only the third day of summer vacation. Here’s to 70 more with nothing to do.