5 Reasons You & I Are No Longer #Friends

Facebook is a funny cyber-world. We all go through some kind of thought process in “friend-ing” folks. Though every person’s criteria for clicking “accept” is different, there is some bar to be met.  On the other end, there’s the process of de-friending – the touchy, sensitive clicking someone off of your friend list, barring them from your timeline, never to know what you had for lunch again.  How many times have you seen someone post a message about being defriended?  Aren’t they so sad in their mystery and wondering why this happened to them?  I admit, I have defriended some folks. And perhaps, I have been defriended, too – but due to my tech-savviness, I don’t even know if I have been or not.

So for those who notice that you no longer see my smiling face or my status about my craziness, here are 5 reasons you may have been defriended.

You posted too many Scandal spoilers.  I wasn’t watching Scandal in season 1, so all the  posts were a mild annoyance filling up my timeline (and my Twitter feed). But by season 2, I was catching up and watching on demand. The posts weren’t so bad because I was so far behind, I didn’t know what folks were talking about yet, anyway. But now, that I am in the present season, but a few episodes behind – it’s killing me! Even if they aren’t intentional plot spoilers, I don’t want to know nothing.  All the posts of who is playing Olivia’s momma – come on, folks – I didn’t want to know her mom was going to even show up!  So, if you’re defriended, check your Scandal posts.

You posted the sex of your baby prior to its birth. Yeah, I’m one of those rare people who don’t want to know whether the baby is a boy or girl until it breathes oxygen in its lungs. I didn’t find out with any of my four and I don’t want to know any of my friends.  Yes, I did warn my god-daughter’s mother that she was free to post her sonogram if she wanted to, but if anyone commented on the gender, I was going to click the defriend button. Pregnant friends, you have been warned.

You complain too much. Oh, woe is me, nobody likes me, my life is awful, I’m so sad, but I’m not going to tell you why I’m singing the blues. Okay, then I can’t help you and you’re dragging me down. Click.  But you won’t notice anyway because you’ll be too busy waiting for comments that say “keep your head up,” “you gonna make it thru,” “I’m here for you.”  I can’t be there for you if I don’t know where you're at.

You posted too many long, sappy stories about God and faith that didn’t make any sense.  Now, I’m a Christian and I’m all for faithful encouragement, some of y’all’s Bible verses hit the mark for me on some days and I’m grateful for that unexpected little reminder and boost.  But some folks and their “true stories” of God’s will - you know the ones – they don’t build me up nor give me strength. They annoy me because they’re bad stories and I don’t believe them.  And they take up too much space on my little phone screen.

You have a perfect family.  Right now, there are towels on the bathroom floor, candy wrappers on the couch, a wet bathing suit in a swim bag, no milk in the fridge, and an unidentified pair of socks in my living room.  My kids didn’t eat their breakfast, didn’t like their lunch, and will demand pizza for dinner.  Within five minutes of being home from school, they will have argued with each other sibling, spilled a cup of apple juice, and asked me 100 questions.  Most of my week is spent as a pseudo-single mom because my husband’s job takes him to Texas or Paris or on long lunches in Virginia.  Your neat home, perfectly behaved children, happy date nights, and balanced meals affect my self-esteem.  My therapists said to defriend you.

You posted too many pictures of your pet cat. I don’t like cats. That’s all.  (I know, that makes 6, but I wanted you to know.)

If I have defriended you and you did not commit one of these atrocities, it could just be that I could not remember who you were and I needed to cull my friend list.  Nothing personal.  

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Stepping out on Faith

- Swim half a mile in open water (a real body of water, not a pool.)  Check.

- Run across a 1.5 mile, really high bridge.  Check. 

- Participate in a skit in public.  

- Pursue a passion. 

 

I don't like participating in skits.  Actually, let me correct that - I hate participating in skits.  Especially in public.  For me, any public performance is a break-out-in-sweat event.  Especially some improv thing.  How much do I hate being in skits?  So much so that in the Girl Scout activity guide where it lists skits as an activity option, I skip it just to avoid the possibility that the girls might ask me to be a part of it.  Yeah, I'm that bad.

 

So what happens this evening?  I go to a women's conference and get put into a group and we have to do a skit!  And it was at church so I couldn't say no, nor could I come up with some lie about why I wasn't going to do it.  I would've much rather run on the cold, long bridge again.

 

Why?  Why do we not like doing certain things?  We're scared, right?  Scared that we won't be successful - won't finish the race, will drown, will not be interesting in the skit, will be a bad speaker.  We're scared of failure, because it will be in front of everyone and who wants to do that?  Well, yes, of course it's the public part because we don't care what happens when we're  by ourselves.  I talk all day long when there's not a bunch of folks looking at me.  

 

I had to do the skit, no way out of it.  Hmmm...

The theme of the conference is about stepping out on faith, maybe that could be a hint.  Faith - the belief and trust in things not seen.  And that "thing" should be bigger than yourself because if all you've got to believe in is yourself, it would seem to kinda limit your expectations.  The key to having faith is that the thing you believe in - deity, spirit, star - should be a wiser, stronger, more knowledgeable being that knows what's waiting for you on the other side of whatever venture you are stepping into.  For me, it's God; it could be something/body different for you, but let's hope it's bigger than you.

 

Back to the skit.  Can't say I wasn't nervous, can't say I was good, can't say I was enthusiastic.  I was  none of that.  But having faith doesn't make you all the sudden not nervous or good or enthusiastic, you are still you after all.  Faith is not a magic wand - it's a journey, you're stepping in faith, moving forward.  Well, I made it through the skit.  And guess what?  My group won as the favorite skit!  That's the other thing that happens when you have faith.  Somehow the people, the resources, the stuff that needs to be in place for you to succeed is put where it needs to be.  For this skit, it was the enthusiastic, obviously skit-loving ladies in my group.  

 

What about that other thing on the list?  Following my passion, pursuing a dream.   Taking a few steps.  This blog is one of them.  Thanks for walking with me. 

  

Stepping out on faith... fashionably.

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