5 Reasons You & I Are No Longer #Friends

Facebook is a funny cyber-world. We all go through some kind of thought process in “friend-ing” folks. Though every person’s criteria for clicking “accept” is different, there is some bar to be met.  On the other end, there’s the process of de-friending – the touchy, sensitive clicking someone off of your friend list, barring them from your timeline, never to know what you had for lunch again.  How many times have you seen someone post a message about being defriended?  Aren’t they so sad in their mystery and wondering why this happened to them?  I admit, I have defriended some folks. And perhaps, I have been defriended, too – but due to my tech-savviness, I don’t even know if I have been or not.

So for those who notice that you no longer see my smiling face or my status about my craziness, here are 5 reasons you may have been defriended.

You posted too many Scandal spoilers.  I wasn’t watching Scandal in season 1, so all the  posts were a mild annoyance filling up my timeline (and my Twitter feed). But by season 2, I was catching up and watching on demand. The posts weren’t so bad because I was so far behind, I didn’t know what folks were talking about yet, anyway. But now, that I am in the present season, but a few episodes behind – it’s killing me! Even if they aren’t intentional plot spoilers, I don’t want to know nothing.  All the posts of who is playing Olivia’s momma – come on, folks – I didn’t want to know her mom was going to even show up!  So, if you’re defriended, check your Scandal posts.

You posted the sex of your baby prior to its birth. Yeah, I’m one of those rare people who don’t want to know whether the baby is a boy or girl until it breathes oxygen in its lungs. I didn’t find out with any of my four and I don’t want to know any of my friends.  Yes, I did warn my god-daughter’s mother that she was free to post her sonogram if she wanted to, but if anyone commented on the gender, I was going to click the defriend button. Pregnant friends, you have been warned.

You complain too much. Oh, woe is me, nobody likes me, my life is awful, I’m so sad, but I’m not going to tell you why I’m singing the blues. Okay, then I can’t help you and you’re dragging me down. Click.  But you won’t notice anyway because you’ll be too busy waiting for comments that say “keep your head up,” “you gonna make it thru,” “I’m here for you.”  I can’t be there for you if I don’t know where you're at.

You posted too many long, sappy stories about God and faith that didn’t make any sense.  Now, I’m a Christian and I’m all for faithful encouragement, some of y’all’s Bible verses hit the mark for me on some days and I’m grateful for that unexpected little reminder and boost.  But some folks and their “true stories” of God’s will - you know the ones – they don’t build me up nor give me strength. They annoy me because they’re bad stories and I don’t believe them.  And they take up too much space on my little phone screen.

You have a perfect family.  Right now, there are towels on the bathroom floor, candy wrappers on the couch, a wet bathing suit in a swim bag, no milk in the fridge, and an unidentified pair of socks in my living room.  My kids didn’t eat their breakfast, didn’t like their lunch, and will demand pizza for dinner.  Within five minutes of being home from school, they will have argued with each other sibling, spilled a cup of apple juice, and asked me 100 questions.  Most of my week is spent as a pseudo-single mom because my husband’s job takes him to Texas or Paris or on long lunches in Virginia.  Your neat home, perfectly behaved children, happy date nights, and balanced meals affect my self-esteem.  My therapists said to defriend you.

You posted too many pictures of your pet cat. I don’t like cats. That’s all.  (I know, that makes 6, but I wanted you to know.)

If I have defriended you and you did not commit one of these atrocities, it could just be that I could not remember who you were and I needed to cull my friend list.  Nothing personal.  

Join the conversation on Facebook: Just Piddlin' with Frances - and I won't de-friend you!

Who knew this would be a job? Blogging at Blogalicious

Hey y'all! I'm down in my old neighborhood - Atlanta, Georgia! Hubby and I lived here for a bit after we finished getting educated.  I'm here for the Blogalicious! Conference - a social media collaboration for multicultural bloggers.  

 

Being here is so far from where I even imagined when I first claimed "slackermomof4.blogspot.com" as my online space. Let me tell you how much blogging was a passing experiment for me when I started - I went to Korea for a week and didn't even post! What? Yes. Not a tweet, nothing. I think there might've been a Facebook post?  So here I am, enjoying some delicious biscuits and butter at a conference to learn how to make this digital spot a better experience for the both of us, you & me.

 

There's a lot of tech-y stuff being talked about. SEOs and mobile capabilities and analytics and such, much of which I will have to have hubby decipher and re-explain to me when I get home (or one of the kids) so I won't bore you with all that.  But I did want to share with you something I've realized with much more clarity while here, just in one day.

 

(Pausing to taste this shrimp & grits.)

For all we stress about over what our kids are learning or not learning, whether they are in a magnet program or academy or whatever special program - and, I'm including myself in that stressed out parent group - the important thing is that our kids not only learn at a challenging level, but that they learn to learn and to be flexible.  We don't know what they will be when they grow up, because we don't even know what there will be to be when they grow up.

 

A hundred years ago, folks were farmers and planned for their kids to be farmers.  And they grew up to be farmers. Some time after that, folks did the same in being assembly workers.  Then somewhere in the recent past, folks were typewriter repairmen and their kids studied typesetting and they became computer programmers.

 

Today, one of the presenters was the social media manager for Kerry Washington. Her job, among other things, is to watch TV, know what Olivia Pope is wearing and be ready to answer Scandal-ous tweets.  And  maybe, I'm guessing,  say "hey!" to Columbus Short every now and then.  I'm guessing.  That is what the woman gets paid to do. Her college major? International business. You see the connection? Right, exactly. She moved from one job to the next, learning as she went and parlaying that and the network she built into the next move.

 

Harriette Cole is here. Did you get married in the 90's? Perhaps you used her book, Jumping the Broom, to plan your wedding. I did. She used to be an editor at a magazine. She now, also among other things, has a crocheted clothing business. See the connection? Now you see what I'm saying?  They've changed, they've adapted, they've learned.

 

Closer to home, my daughter is taking a photography class in high school. I did, too. Do you need a camera, is the class fee for chemicals, you shouldn't wear your best clothes on film developing day, I said when school started. Her response: I have a phone, the fee is for paper, what film?

 

Everything's constantly changing. For our kids to be successful whatever's when they grow up, it's not important that they learn today's technology and lingo and market forever and ever. But they do need to learn it to understand their current world and learn how to learn about the world as it changes tomorrow.

 

As for me? I'm going to finish this peach vodka cocktail (hey, it's Georgia!), go peek at these crocheted creations and then go tweet about this season's white suit. And  her you-know-who in the back of the car!