Currently… Thinking about Independence

There are probably more patterns in our lives than we realize, than we pay attention to.  In a moment of quiet, I thought that lately my life might be centered around being dependent on others. Or not.

The realization smacked me in the head - like a V8 commercial – for not realizing, or accepting, sooner  that I am officially a member of the sandwich generation.  I’m at that age in between caring for an older generation while raising a younger one.  This weekend, I was recovering from my daughter’s Sweet 16 and having a conversation with my mother about finding a new home in a senior community.  Both ends of my family were moving around me and I was trying not to get dizzy.

While all this is going on, I’m slowly starting to accept my aging self, as manifested by my eyes.  I’ve worn glasses since I was a child and I’d much rather wear glasses than contacts (I can’t imagine sticking anything in my eye every day.)  But it’s something about needing reading glasses, for more and more reading, that’s a little unsettling.  For driving and seeing the preacher way up at the front of the church, that’s one thing. But to pick up a book and be able to read the words, that feels old.  Even my computer knows, as ads for reading glasses pop up on my Facebook page and Twitter ad (do they track how many times you hit “zoom” – how does it know?) It could be this bit of denial that’s kept me from getting new glasses, with the excuse that I can’t find anything I like.

Meanwhile, my still-have-things-to-do-self is busy trying to decorate my office. I feel like I’m always saying that.  My office used to be the kids’ playroom, so it’s bright yellow with IKEA bookcases and a chalkboard wall.   When it was obvious that they were no longer using it to play Barbie’s and LEGOS, I moved in. Since then, it’s been functional, but not really cute.  I’ve got a million “pins” of ideas on my “Room of my Own” Pinterest board, but nothing’s happened yet. Then it hit me tonight, as I was pinning a beautiful pink desk – this decorating my own space thing is taking so long because I’ve never really had my own space and funds to do something special.  Milk crates in a college dorm doesn’t count. In grad school, I lived alone, but who has decorating money for a rented apartment when you’re still going to school?  Soon after, I moved in with my new husband and, well, he’s not so fond of big, bright pink pieces of furniture.  It’s a new little bit of independence and I’m stalling.

Maybe I can get a deal on a pink desk and matching glasses. Near a senior community.

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Currently...Springing Forward to Birthdays, My Own Space & Spring Break

Spring forward or fall back - it doesn't matter - I'm thrown off for days trying to figure out what time it is, remembering whether I adjusted this clock or not, and whether I should have another cup of coffee or a glass of wine (such decisions!)

Add that to a whirlwind of weekend activities, running back-to-back and on top of each other, after two no-school snow days and I'm totally out of whack today.  Oh - and I picked up sugar-free coffee creamer.

But the weather seems nice out and I'm in a kinda good mood.  I've got a few projects going on, all of which I need to wrap up in the next two weeks (thus, more coffee, less wine, even less mojitos.)    Other than those, there's a few another things I'm currently working on.

Baby blankets and baby hats.  Still have baby blankets to finish and/or deliver for my pregnant friends.  With this cold snap, I've also added hats to the list because I hate to see a baby outside without a hat.  I've also considered making preemie hats because I have so many little bits of yarn.  That's on my to-do list, but if you know of an organization that needs preemie hats, let me know. That'll get me stitching.

Organizing and decorating my space. A year or so ago, I took over the kids' playroom as my work space.  It still doesn't feel cozy to me, yet. Right now it's functional (sometimes, when it's not a mess), but not "me."  Which I'm not really sure yet what that is since I've not lived alone and had my "own" space since I was in grad school, when it was just me and my dog (not my current dog, another black Cocker Spaniel).  I'm collecting ideas - where else? On Pinterest in "a room of my own."

Planning a Sweet 16. I'm kinda nervous about this. Okay, maybe more about my first child turning 16! than the actual party, although thinking about 50 teens in my house is making me a bit anxious, too.  I'm overwhelmed by all the stuff I still need to teach her (she still doesn't even sort her laundry properly or know how to put on eyeliner) and the limited amount of time before she heads off into the big blue world (of which I'm reminded by the mountain of college info that is stuffed in the mailbox).   And if she turns 16, that means, Lord willing, the next one will too and then the next and then the next. And where will that leave me?  Oh, yeah - on a beach in the Caribbean with an umbrella drink.  (Think positive!)

Thinking about spring break.  It'll be here before we know it and I really really don't want to be near my house when it comes. How far can I drive in a week or maybe we can get on a plane.  What great spring break plans are out there?

Trying to figure out what home project my husband has going on in the basement. You know when your spouse makes multiple trips to Home Depot and you hear sawing and drilling and smell sawdust?  I just stay out of the way.  We could have a built-in pool or a basketball court by the time he's done. Who knows.

Now, let me get back to trying to fix up this coffee. I've got stuff to do.

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Currently… Thinking I Need a Wife

I have said a multitude of times, that I need a wife. Someone to clean up after me, make me hot tea when I’ve got a cold, keep up with my laundry, make sure my annual gyn and mammogram appointments are made, and since I like to cook, she would only have to wash the dishes.  If I had a wife, that’s what she would do.  But one thing she wouldn’t be is… me. Because I’ve already got me and things don’t always work out so well.  I fall asleep before making tea, put off housecleaning to read a book, and am months behind on all doctor’s appointments.  So it’s with interest that I read this article about the woman who recently married herself.  And based on a bunch of other articles that popped up about others who have done the same thing, I guess this is a new thing.  (I haven’t seen any mention of guys doing the same, so I guess none has decided he needs a husband.)

I get self-love and being committed to your own happiness.  I’m not so sure I understand the point of the ceremony.  And I do wonder, if taking yourself for your own bride might be blocking some energy of someone else who may wish to take you as their bride.  I mean, do you tell people you are married to yourself? Would it be disloyal to yourself if Mr. Right does come along and you decide to marry him? Many questions come to mind.  But I do know this: if I was to marry myself, it would be on a beach in the Caribbean or South Pacific and I’d stay for the honeymoon. I think I deserve a great honeymoon.

Other than contemplating marriage, here’s what else I’m currently up to.

Currently...Counting Down 'Til Summer

Only 4 more days of rustling folks awake early in the morning, trying to get lunches packed, cajoling folks to drink a glass of milk before running out the door, rushing people out of the door, and then breathing a deep sigh once they've all made it to the big yellow school bus and finishing my half-cold cup of coffee.  Then wait 6 hours to begin the afternoon routine.

Not to say things get drastically calmer in the summer. No, the routine just changes.  Rustle up a couple swimmers, remind everyone to get some math exercises and reading done, cajole folks away from their little teeny screens to enjoy the big yellow sun outside, cheer at summer league basketball games, eat ice cream and Rita's. Repeat the next day.

The "deadline" of the last day of school is finally looming over me and I figure I need to spend the next few days preparing for summer.  Maybe these are some of the things you need to get done, too.

Write Thank You notes to my children's teachers. I have to deal with four of them each day; I empathize with the teachers who spend their days with my 4 and 29 others. A note is the least I could do; especially since I haven't figured out yet if sending teachers a bottle of wine is appropriate.

Re-set-up my home office space. My computer crashed, my schedule has been crazy hectic, etc. etc. and my work-at-home-space is not as organized as it should be. I need to take a day and put everything back where it belongs, wrap up a couple projects, and prepare my retreat for when the kids are here all day long.  If you work at home, in a professional sense or as mom-in-chief, it's helpful to have a clear, designated workspace to stay organized. It might be a corner desk in the living room, a rolling file cart in the dining room, or a separate room altogether - find somewhere that works for you.

Get the pool passes.  What's summer without the pool passes?

Buy a stack of math workbooks and clear our library fines.  Math skills are the set that seems to slip in the summer, at least in my house. Right now, the girls can graph multi-variable equations, without a little math maintenance over the summer, they'll barely remember how to turn on their calculator. So for them, I like to have workbooks at the next level (the one they are going into) so they can get a look ahead. And now that my son is going into middle school, we'll start on a little bit of pre-Algebra over the summer. Especially since with this new Common Core, I'm not exactly sure what he knows.  For my youngest, we'll keep up with the Kumon workbooks and drill those basic facts - gotta know your times tables!  If you can't find any to purchase, ask your school teachers for handouts or website references.

Enjoy the last few days of an empty house and finishing my cold coffee in relative quiet.  We all love our kids, no doubt, but gotta admit, there is a balancing calmness to have a few hours of not refereeing, feeding, and chaffeuring.


What's on your last days of school to-do list?

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