Sports Lessons for Life

"I think I made the HighPoint for the team this season," my son said to me the day before the swim team awards picnic.

Jay started swimming on a team because he saw other kids practicing with a team coach while he was still learning to blow bubbles. He watched them and told me he wanted to do what they were doing.  "Then you've got to put your face in the water. All the way in the water," I told him.

And he eventually did get over his fear of submerging his face and the rest of his body into 4 feet of water, because he wanted to do what the other kids were doing.  Once he learned to swim across the length of the pool, he told me he was ready to join a team.  I had no idea what joining a swim team or being a competitive swimmer entailed, other than the few tales of water-obsessed parents, but they didn't sound any crazier than the soccer-moms and basketball-dads that I already knew.  Just a different and wetter crazy, but on the same level.

That was four years ago and Jay has been swimming ever since.  He's won, tied, come in last, been disqualified, cheered, cried, set goals, tried harder, tried again.  He's learned to take pride in his accomplishments and set new goals to do even better. He encourages his team-mates and celebrates their wins or commiserates over their losses. He's pulled his sister into swimming with him and encourages her.  He knows when he's been goofing off and when he's really put in some work.  He appreciates the coaches who invest their efforts and is learning (still learning) not to waste their time by not putting in his own hard work.  He's learned so much more than just how to properly churn his arms and kick his legs to execute the perfect butterfly.

And this year, he did win that High Point award - the swimmer who has earned the most wins and points for his team this season.  And he's learned to be proud, yet still humble.

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Currently...Counting Down 'Til Summer

Only 4 more days of rustling folks awake early in the morning, trying to get lunches packed, cajoling folks to drink a glass of milk before running out the door, rushing people out of the door, and then breathing a deep sigh once they've all made it to the big yellow school bus and finishing my half-cold cup of coffee.  Then wait 6 hours to begin the afternoon routine.

Not to say things get drastically calmer in the summer. No, the routine just changes.  Rustle up a couple swimmers, remind everyone to get some math exercises and reading done, cajole folks away from their little teeny screens to enjoy the big yellow sun outside, cheer at summer league basketball games, eat ice cream and Rita's. Repeat the next day.

The "deadline" of the last day of school is finally looming over me and I figure I need to spend the next few days preparing for summer.  Maybe these are some of the things you need to get done, too.

Write Thank You notes to my children's teachers. I have to deal with four of them each day; I empathize with the teachers who spend their days with my 4 and 29 others. A note is the least I could do; especially since I haven't figured out yet if sending teachers a bottle of wine is appropriate.

Re-set-up my home office space. My computer crashed, my schedule has been crazy hectic, etc. etc. and my work-at-home-space is not as organized as it should be. I need to take a day and put everything back where it belongs, wrap up a couple projects, and prepare my retreat for when the kids are here all day long.  If you work at home, in a professional sense or as mom-in-chief, it's helpful to have a clear, designated workspace to stay organized. It might be a corner desk in the living room, a rolling file cart in the dining room, or a separate room altogether - find somewhere that works for you.

Get the pool passes.  What's summer without the pool passes?

Buy a stack of math workbooks and clear our library fines.  Math skills are the set that seems to slip in the summer, at least in my house. Right now, the girls can graph multi-variable equations, without a little math maintenance over the summer, they'll barely remember how to turn on their calculator. So for them, I like to have workbooks at the next level (the one they are going into) so they can get a look ahead. And now that my son is going into middle school, we'll start on a little bit of pre-Algebra over the summer. Especially since with this new Common Core, I'm not exactly sure what he knows.  For my youngest, we'll keep up with the Kumon workbooks and drill those basic facts - gotta know your times tables!  If you can't find any to purchase, ask your school teachers for handouts or website references.

Enjoy the last few days of an empty house and finishing my cold coffee in relative quiet.  We all love our kids, no doubt, but gotta admit, there is a balancing calmness to have a few hours of not refereeing, feeding, and chaffeuring.


What's on your last days of school to-do list?

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Currently... panicking, excited, thinking, reminding, starting #JustPiddlin

I wrote my first "Currently..." post last Monday and I think it's a good start to the week.  Join me in considering where you are and looking forward to the days ahead.

Panicking about the fact that my baby first-born is getting ready to turn 15.  I'm rethinking the years, wondering if I've done a good enough job as her mom, and trying to think of all the stuff I need to tell her in the next 3 years before she's off on her own.  And looking for a magic potion to turn back time.  More angst-filled posts to come.

Excited about my son swimming in the state Junior Olympics meet this weekend. He's excited about even qualifying and the cool new warm-up jacket. I'm happy that his hard-work is proving some results.

Thinking about the new #BanBossy campaign.  I get the message - girls should be encouraged to be leaders and not ridiculed or put down for being outspoken, absolutely.  But my little girl is bossy.

Reminding you not to text & drive.  My new phone has an option where text message and phone call alerts do not sound when you are driving, sending a message to the caller/texter that you are driving and will get back to them later. You can set it to automatically turn on when it detects you are moving faster than 25 mph or set it manually.  What's the big deal? It's only a few seconds?  Read more about Jake's Law.

Starting to run and work-out again. I got lazy over the winter. There's still snow on the ground, but it's getting warmer. I'm ready for skirts and need to get these thighs ready, too.  Plus, we start Girls on the Run this week and I cannot get beat by those 8 years old (again).

What are you currently up to?

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Swim! And Reach Your Goals

Did you wake up this morning inspired to swim across a shark and jellyfish filled, salty, wavy, cold ocean for 50-plus hours?  What, you didn’t?  But didn’t you hear about Diana Nyad who broke an open water swimming record by swimming from Cuba to Key West this weekend – 64 years old, 110 miles, 53 hours, no shark cage.  Come on, you’ve got to want to try it, just a little bit.

What makes people do stuff like this? What is it in the human mind that says, “Hey, that thing looks crazy impossible. I’m gonna do that.” People who climb frozen mountains, sail around the world on a raft, jump out of perfectly good airplanes, fight lions in the wild. Dare to go beyond. Compete in a triathlon, raise a bunch of kids, write a novel.

The goal is all relative isn’t it? What’s easy for you may be impossible to me, and vice versa.  I have friends who are training for marathons, I’d like to get a really good 5K time.  Some of you are trying to lose 10 pounds, others are working on 100.  Graduate high school or finish your PhD. I guess it’s just something in the human spirit that encourages us to push ourselves a little harder, to set the finish line a little further.

But one thing that really amazed me about Ms. Nyad's swim? This was her fifth attempt, the first was in 1978.  This woman is 64 years old!  I remember when she tried this last year – then she also went without a shark cage – which, from my understanding of the description is a huge cage that the swimmer swims in and floats along with them, to keep sharks away – but unfortunately, she was taken out by jellyfish. Right. I think about sharks and jellyfish swims when I wade into the ocean for a beach afternoon. Even contemplating dealing with the threat of them for 100-plus miles?  No, I’m sorry, not the threat – the actual existence – there were divers and kayakers to keep them away from her.

Despite past failures, near-death circumstances, the mental defeat she had to experience, the physical pain and exhaustion - this woman came back and did it again!  And even with the great possibility of failing again, she still pulled on her wetsuit and hopped in the Cuban waters, again.

How many times have we let failures make us quit?  How often do we let just the thought that we might fail, all the things that could trip us up, keep us from even trying?  What is the ocean we are trying to swim across and what sharks are there lurking?  How will we prepare for the journey, how will protect ourselves from the sharp teeth?

And how will we celebrate when we reach the finish?

Congratulations to Ms. Nyad and everyone else swimming towards their goals.

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Go on - Get the Bikini

The summer days are dwindling down and perhaps you've done a good job in avoiding wearing a bathing suit all summer.  Isn't that one of the most stressful shopping trips known to woman-hood? Especially after you've hit a certain age and had a kid or two or four? Especially if you could, if you had to, live on chocolate cake and coffee ice cream?  Stop denying yourself the cool refreshment of the summer pool and get to a bathing suit shop. In fact, go ahead and get the bikini, if you want to! 

I own one-piece bathing and bikinis, two-pieces if you prefer. My one-pieces are the traditional sports, racer-back bathing suit that I wear when swimming laps and the other is a simple black suit. Like the LBD, everyone should own a flattering black bathing suit.And I have a pile of bikinis. Yes, I wear a bikini. Why? Especially, with the whole four pregnancies and love of chocolate thing? Because, once I tried one on, I realized, I actually didn't look as bad as I had feared. Now I'm not claiming I'm ready to walk down the Victoria's Secret runway, but I don't look like Dumbo's momma either.

Picking out a bathing suit takes time. Lots of it. Probably one reason moms never have new bathing suits, or when they do, it's something they grabbed off the rack at Target while picking up toothpaste, dog food, and a mixing bowl.  So, first, you've got to make time. Leave the kids home or go while they're at camp/school/a playdate.

 

Where are you going shopping? Whether its Target, a department store or swimming suit specialty shop, pick somewhere with a variety and options you really do like and can afford. So, how much should you spend? Don't necessarily get the cheapest one. Spend a bit on the one with stretch (look for Lycra in the materials) and that fits you really well.  The cheap ones will sag after a few wears and that doesn't look good on anyone. And of course, end of summer is a great time to get suits on sale. You can also check sports stores and swimming shops, especially if you want something sporty, for end-of-season clearance. You're better off with one great suit that's going to last and not fade, then a bunch that you're going to be throwing out by next summer.

 

Now - on to the store!  Grab up everything that you think you would like. Don't worry yet whether you would look good in it or not, just get it. Skirted polka dot? One-piece with cutouts? String bikini? Black one-piece? Whatever, get it. And don't worry about what all those articles say about what bathing suit fits your body, given some "imperfection." Do you ever look at those models? That one showing off the suit that covers a "problem tummy"? Please. If I looked like that chick, I'd be wearing a bikini to PTA meetings (and isn't mine glad I don't?)  So back to my point - get all the ones you like. Now go find a dressing room.

 

Hang up all the bathing suits in a couple piles - most likely will like, maybe this will work out, and ooh! If this fits, I'm going get an ice cream cone! 

 

Start trying them on. It'll take a couple for you to figure out what does and doesn't look good on you. I found those skirted one's did nothing but make my thighs look bigger, so threw all skirted things out of the running. Figure out what works, what you like, what makes you smile at your reflection. 

 

Pick out your favorites from your pile of what makes you happy. And admit it - you didn't look as bad as you feared. Remember that show, Look Good Naked or something like that? Those women - and probably most of us in real life, too - think we look worse than we really do. We should be nicer to ourselves.

 

Now, before you change your mind - hurry to the register with your bathing suits. Then grab your best sunhat, a good book, and head to the water.

And tell me - what kind of bathing suits make you smile at your reflection?

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Pack Your Bags! For the Pool & Swim Meet

In my last swim team post, I talked about practice and swim meets.  Now let’s look in our swimmer’s bag. You know he needs a bathing suit and some goggles.  What else?  (And again, thanks to Coach Jenn from RMSC and Tilden Woods, for her helpful tips.)

Ready for the pool!

What kind of bag?

Your child’s bag should be easy to get into, large enough for all of their stuff, and water-proof.  Backpacks made by water sports companies like Speedo are a popular choice, however, these may seem expensive for a summer-only swimmer.  A regular sports duffel/gym bag works well, too.  Put some kind of luggage-tag or identifier on the bag; you can imagine how many blue backpacks are lying around on the pool deck.

In the bag

Be sure to check his bag before each meet.  Yes, because the goggles were there after the last meet, you would think they would still be in there.  But do you really trust that he put them back after playing at the pool with his friends or that she remembered to tell you that her swim cap tore?

• Flip-flops/Crocs/sandals – water-proof shoes
• Towel
• Goggles (2 pairs), favorite pair plus an extra pair in case 1^st gets lost or broken
• Swim cap (2 – for same reason as 2 goggles) – team cap, if you have one.
• Team bathing suit – Yes, they are a bit more expensive than the one you bought at Sports Authority or Target, but for the meet, Coach Jenn says that its “always nice to look like a unified team by all having the same suit & swim caps.”
• Team t-shirt
• Water-proof sunscreen and lip protection (yes, even for the brown-skinned swimmers - they will burn, too, just ask my kids)
• Hydration – water, Gatorade, coconut water
• Healthy snacks – peanut butter, nuts, cheese sticks, carbs, fresh fruit, pretzels or chips (but watch the salt – swimmers don’t really sweat too much)
• Entertainment – book/magazine, cards.  I wouldn’t advise electronic equipment or anything expensive, not only because of the obvious potential for water damage, but the bags are often left unsupervised while the children compete and wander around the pool deck
• For evening meets – a sweatshirt, tight-woven cap or towel for wet hair
• For after the meet, if needed: multi-purpose wash/shampoo, swimmer’s shampoo and conditioner, moisturizer

A note on swim caps.  I’ve had a few discussions with parents on swim caps, and here’s my take.  Should your child wear one – yes.  It keeps long hair out of your kid's face, whether that’s long straight hair or long curly hair, even if it is in ponytail, an Afro, or in braids.  Although they don’t keep hair 100% dry, swim caps generally keep hair to just being damp, so less chlorine exposure and that’s better for your hair (not scientific evidence, this is my own opinion).  And for swim times - the point of swim caps is that their smoothness gives the swimmer a little more glide in the water and keeps them from getting weighed down by the water in their hair. Granted, the design and quality of the cap should be comparable to the skill of your swimmer, hence, why the Michael Phelps swim cap is like $40 and the regular swimmer’s cap is about $10.

Family bag

Parents may also want to carry their own water-resistant bag of supplies, especially if there are other siblings coming to cheer on the swimmer.  Depending on the meet, swimmers will stay with their team and parents will stay in the viewing area of the pool deck or stands, so separate bags is important.  Most of this is stuff you would also take with you for just a fun day at the pool.

• A couple dollars for the concession stand and the swim program – this is the printed line-up of the events, swimmers, and their seed times
• Water-proof shoes
• Folding chair
• Hat with brim
• Sunscreen
• If its looks like its going to rain - rain jacket, hat – swim meets will often go on despite the rain as long as there is no lightning
• Water
• Snacks, lunch – don’t have to worry about cramps and jumping in the pool, so pack whatever is desired
• Entertainment – book/magazine, portable games, small toys for siblings.
• Camera to capture all those beautiful strokes
• Plastic, ziptop sandwich bags – I put my phone and camera in them so they don’t get splashed.
• Bathing suits for the other siblings?  Depends on the pool.  Some have a second pool that they can use; some pools only have one and its restricted just for the swim meet.

My bag
The polka dot bag in the photo is what I'm using as my pool bag.  Its large enough for a family's worth of towels and all the other stuff listed above.  It has long handles so I can carry it on my shoulder and is waterproof.  This is the Utility Tote from 31 Gifts.

You're ready to pack your bags - have a great time at the pool!

This is the first of a series of posts - check back weekly for more fun reasons to "Pack Your Bags" this summer and a chance to win a bag of your own from 31 Gifts!

Get Ready for Summer Swim Season

Is your kid splashing into the pool with eyes on being the next Michael Phelps or Cullen Jones?  (I think with some work, I could catch up to Dana Torres, but that’s another story.)  We’ll be hanging out pool-side, too; my son will be returning for another summer season, now officially a year-round swimmer, joined by his sister for her first year.  I’ve collected some tips from our experience and checked in with one of our local swim team coaches, Jenn Barnes, for her expert input, too!

Practice

• Yes, swim practice is every day.  Even when its really hot and even in the rain (as long as there’s no lightning).  Practice is important, so do your best to get your child there. 
• Introduce yourself to the coach - according to Coach Jenn, its helpful for coaches to be able to match your face to your name and to your kid. 
• If you stay at practice, stay quietly.  Coach Jenn says to “let coaches do the coaching, it's important to allow the swimmer and coach build a relationship/bond.”  If you do have any questions, don’t assume, go ahead and ask, but after practice so that the coaches can pay full attention to the swimmers. 

Meets

The swim meet consists of a series of events – all the swim strokes, divided by age and sex, as well as relays and stroke medleys, that all totaled could be 40 or more events and can last about 3, even 4 hours, with your child swimming for maybe 5 of those minutes. 

In our swim league, there are “A” and “B” meets.

• “A” meet competitors are selected by the coaches.  How do the coaches make up the “A” line-up?  Coach Jenn says that “many factors go into creating an “A” meet lineup (opposing teams strong spots and weak spots, who is available for the meet, maximizing points).  Typically the top 3 fastest times for the whole team from each event are chosen to swim.”
• “B” meet swimmers may be asked to swim or allowed to sign up for eligible events. 

Warm-ups

• Swimmers need to get to the pool for warm-ups before the meet. This is your child’s opportunity to wake-up, stretch out their arms and legs, get a sense of the pool (is it a deep diving pool, is the depth graduated or flat, is the water cold), and get mentally ready for the meet.  It will be his only warm-up time; the next time he touches the water it will be for his event.
• Additionally, for the team coach, she can check who is there and make any necessary adjustments to the swim line-up.  If your swimmer doesn’t make it to warm-ups, his slot in the events may be given to another swimmer. 

Parents’ Role

• Cheer - We’re the cheerleaders and we are there to support our swimmers. Coach Jenn emphasizes that during the meets, again, “leave the coaching to the coaches”. Remember all the bonding the kids and the coaches did during practice?  This is where it kicks in. 
• Volunteer – We will be asked to help with the meet as timers and lane organizers, as well as with set-up and at the concession stand. Helping out with the team is a great way to be involved in your child’s activity (in a way they don’t mind) and get to know the other kids and parents on the team, as well as to pass the time.
• Make sure the kids are near - Our team, and many others, has a “Clerk of Course”.  This is the person who wrangles all the kids for each event into their correct line-up; its much like herding and corralling wet cats.  I did this last summer; other parents can make this job easier by having your swimmer ready a few events ahead of time and near the line-up area so that they can be easily found. 

Team Spirit

A swimmer can come to practice, swim his events, and never have to talk to another teammate, because other than the relays, swimming really is an individual sport.  But how fun is that?  Through-out the season, many teams have team activities and pep-rally type events, to further develop the team bond between the swimmers. Coach Jenn believes that “summer swim team is where lifelong friendships are made and the best way to build these relationships is to attend the team activities/functions.  This not only builds personal relationships but also builds a team.”

If your child is only swimming one or two events in the beginning of the meet, I know, its real tempting to dry her off and head off to the rest of your day.  But if you can, stay at least a few events and cheer on the swimmers.  For Coach Jenn’s swimmers “building a team that supports each other and is there for one another is more important that winning; staying until the end of the meet is a good way to do this.”  Swim teammates often scream cheer at the end of a swimmer’s lane and during half-time, the teams often become their own crazed cheerleading squad, complete with cheers, synchronized dances, costumes, and cannon-balls into the pool.  This all builds the team bond and leads to a more positive experience.

See you at the pool!

* What goes in the swim meet bag?  Check my "Pack Your Bags" post on the Swimming Pool. *

Did you know that “drowning is the 2nd leading cause of childhood accidental death”?  African-American and Hispanic children are less likely to know how to swim than White children, making them more at risk for drowning.  

If your child can’t swim, check your local YMCA or public pool for lessons.  

Stats and information from “Make a Splash” Foundation.  

Throwing him in the deep end

My son had a well-decorated summer swim season.  He swam in every meet and won first place, in all events, every week, with the exception of 3 races (all 3 of those 2nd place finishes were behind the same kid).  Now he's swimming on the winter team and its like going from being the fastest fish in a little pond to an average fish in a big pond.

For his first meet, we had to choose what events he wanted to swim.  With some hesitation, he decided on the 100 yard freestyle - four times his normal distance.  He also chose the 50-yard backstroke (twice his normal distance) and the 25-yard butterfly.   This was a big jump into a pool with some really fast fish, but we figured we would let him try it, see how he does.  Well, swimming against kids who've been swimming year round since they could walk, he didn't place anywhere near where he was used to.  As he came over to me, I was preparing to give him the "good try" speech to ward off any upset.  To my surprise, he was smiling.  

"I've improved my time.  I've dropped some seconds off my best times," he said.

I couldn't help but smile at his excitement.  He later said that he was surprised by the speed of the other swimmers, but he was still proud of his own improvements.  I loved it.  I was excited for him that he could see beyond a "loss", realize his own accomplishments, and take pride in himself.  

My little fish is going to be a wonderful big fish one day.

I TRI-ed and I finished!

Sometime last year I saw a sign at my gym for triathlon training. Swim. Bike. Run. "I can swim," I thought. "And I own a bike. And I know how to run." So I signed up, to the surprise and amusement of my husband.

And I trained for 12 weeks. I learned to swim - really swim. Breathing, not kicking (important when you will need your legs later), enduring. I rode my bike for miles and miles. I ran on the treadmill, on the street, in the morning, in the evening. At the end of the training course, there was a "mock" triathlon - all indoors. Pool, stationary bikes, and treadmill. It was tough, putting it all together, one behind another. But I did it and was quite pleased with my progress.

Since then, I have continued exercising with some combination of swimming, biking, running, and weight lifting each week. I learned to change a flat. The first flat, took me about 20 minutes. Then I discovered that I was missing a tire lever; next time, it only took me about 5 minutes. I bought a wetsuit. I have participated in a Splash & Dash (swim and run) and a 5K. And I finally got the nerve to sign up for a real sprint triathlon - the Annapolis TriRock: 500 meter open water swim, 12 mile bike, and 5K run.

The night before, I packed up all my stuff - wetsuit, swim caps, goggles, bike helmet, sneakers, socks, energy gels, water bottles, towels. I racked my bike onto my car. And I set my alarm for 4 a.m. The next morning, I loaded the car and drove the hour to Annapolis. As I unloaded my car, I knocked some stuff out (a sign of my clumsiness) that fell directly onto the joint of my toe, which immediately started to hurt and swell. After reaching the transition area, I racked my bike, setup all my gear, and squeezed into my wetsuit. Then waited.

I was in wave 10 - the 40+ year old women. You'd think they'd let us old ladies go first, but them I guess we'd be in the way of the 20 year olds who knew what they were doing. Now, let me say, that I have been really practicing my swimming. Two, three times a week, at least, I am in the pool, swimming somewhere between 16 to 32 laps each time, non-stop, 30-45 minutes. The distance for the triathlon was equivalent to 10 laps in the pool. But it was in the Chesapeake Bay. And it was 68 degrees. And it was raining. And it was deep (a psychological concern, not physical, but it still mattered). And as my daughter pointed out to me - there were ducks in it. And it kicked my butt. This swim was one of the hardest things I have ever done. It took all my physical strength, mental calmness, and reminders to myself that God would not let me get in that Bay if He wasn't going to see that I got out. Although we don't know the day or time when we will die, I told myself that I was not meant to die that day, in the Chesapeake Bay.

I was still gasping for my breath when I got to my bike and pulled off my wetsuit to change into my clothes and put on my sneakers. I strapped on my helmet and headed out for the bike ride. We headed out past the Naval Academy, over a bridge, along some road, and made a few loops. My bike training was paying off. I shifted gears, pedaled hard, and made it up the hills without feeling like my chest would bust open (much progress). I rode through the drizzling rain and finally rode back to the bike finish line.

On the beach ready for a cold water swim

Again, I racked my bike, and unstrapped my helmet. Then took off on a slow jog as my toe throbbed just a little to remind me about the accident earlier in the morning. After a few minutes, my brain started to ignore it and wanted to run this race. My body compromised with a run/walk. I was disappointed because I had just run last week and knew that I could do this, but its kinda hard to run when your foot hurts. By the time I got to mile two, impatience and frustration won over the pain and I ran the last mile to the finish line. As I hobbled into the Medical Tent, the first aid volunteer couldn't really understand how I managed to break a toe during the event. I told her it was complicated and asked her to just wrap it up so I could get home.

It's the next day. My toe is still swollen and sore. My numbers are still tattooed on my arms and legs (my daughter says I look like an escaped convict) and I'm resigned to long sleeve shirts until they finally wash off. I've been rethinking my race. And I've gone over the swim over and over in my head. And I think I'm heading to the pool tomorrow.

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