5 Reasons to Encourage Girls about Diet and Exercise

Girls aren’t supposed to want to be pretty and attractive. At least that’s the new message that seems to be out.  There's a hashtag movement to shy away from telling our girls that they are pretty, only smart - but why not both?  There’s a social message that we don't want our girls to think that exercising is for our own self-image, but only strictly to be healthy and because we enjoy it. More girl-focused campaigns are trying to downplay the truth of wanting to look good and be attractive.  And yes, as a woman and mom of three beautiful girls, I get that there's a lot of over-sexualization in girl-targeted ads and media and clothing; trust me, I struggle with that when clothes shopping, pushing my girls past the make-up counter and push-up bras in the junior sections.  But part of teaching them to walk past all of that superficial-ness and not be too grown, is to teach them to love their own image.

I workout, in a good week, three to four times.  Running, swimming, weightlifting, playing tennis – some combination of those.  And in a real good week, I limit the amount of ice cream and chocolate cake I eat to only 1 or 2 servings.  Like most women, I have a goal weight and a preferred dress size.

This all goes hand-in-hand, doesn’t it?  Exercise, diet, body size. Along with body image and satisfaction with that image. It's an important balance, aligning a workout schedule, a proper diet, and a reasonable desired body image.

So, it's not a secret that I workout and sometimes watch what I eat, partly (mainly) because of self-image. My daughters (and my son, too) know that I try to balance all of this to look how I want to look, or at least something close to it.  And here's why I've never really thought of this as something to deny because there’s a few things I want my kids to understand.

Physical fitness and good health is a choice. Exercise is something that fits into a lifestyle, it’s not just about going to the gym at a scheduled time to jump around, especially for children.  We can decide to sit on the couch and watch TV for 10 hours a day or go out and ride bikes or run around with the dog and be active.  It’s a choice and that choice will affect your health.

Your diet is a choice. And I don’t mean diet as in the all-grapefruit kind of diet, but “diet” in the sense of everything you eat.  We can eat pizza and fries for breakfast, lunch, and dinner 7 days a week (not good) or for one meal of the week, balanced with a salad and fruit, and other healthy meals.  We can’t eat ice cream three times every day, but we can enjoy a sweet scoop on a Saturday afternoon.  We can always enjoy the good things in life.

You should love who you are and what you look like.  There is nothing wrong with looking at yourself in the mirror and liking what you see.  There is also nothing wrong with wanting to be a better you and figuring out how to be that better self.  With proper nurturing and encouragement, that can result into healthier eating and exercise rather than quick weight-reduction tactics, starving oneself, and artificial beauty.  Maybe it will translate into appreciating their intelligence and talents, building their confidence.  We want our children to love their own natural selves.

You have some control over your life and your health.  Granted, there are some health-issues that we have no control over.  But the complications of being over-weight and not having a proper diet – that is within our own decision making power.  Along with that, hopefully the kids will begin to understand that who they are as people is also up to them – how they act, how they present themselves, what they become.  They have to decide who they want to be and be proud of that person.

It’s all about balance and moderation. Yes, you can exercise too little, as well as too much. You can overeat, undereat, consume the proper amount of calories but they might not be all “healthy.” It’s not about being rail thin to show off your ribs, but being a good correlation of height (which you can’t control) and weight (which you can) and eventually, age.  Like a lot of things in life, you have to find the proper balance of “enough” and moderate your intake and output.

And I will admit, it is a fine line between making children conscious of a healthy body size and being overly concerned about it, but that’s all part of the learning process – for all of us.

Join the conversation on Facebook: Just Piddlin' with Frances

Coke or Pepsi? Meat or Veggies?

In the battle between Coke and Pepsi, I'm a Pepsi girl, 100%. I don't drink regular Coke or diet Coke or Cherry Coke.  None, ever, not even with Bacardi.  Ever since I was a kid - Pepsi. My mother would buy Pepsi, Coke, and root beer (something else I don't drink, ever).  My brother was not as picky and would drink anything.  And what would he drink first? The Pepsi.  Then when they were all gone, that would leave him with 2 other choices and me and my picky self with nothing but water.  This would irritate the heck out of me. I always felt he should not drink the Pepsi, ever, because he had other options.

Skip years and years forward.  I'm a vegetarian now; actually, a pescetarian.  When I cook for my family or have folks over to my own home, I cook carnivore options and vegetarian/pescetarian options.  Fajitas? Steak, chicken, and shrimp.  BBQ?  Ribs, chicken, fish.  Pork chops and tofu.  When I go to an event, I look for the veggie or fish options.  So, what is it that irritates me?  (Go back to the Pepsi/Coke thing if you haven't figured it out). Yes, when carnivores eat up all the fish and veggies first, leaving me with a pile of lettuce leaves and cauliflower.  I recently went to an event with a buffet of munchies - mini cheesesteak subs, burger sliders, crabcakes.  Guess which went first?  And no, I am not going to believe that there were a room full of vegetarians who ate all the crabcakes before I got there.

I'll admit, maybe in my pre-pescetarian days, I did the same thing.  But now I'm going to tell you, on behalf of the vegetarians - stop it.  If you are a carnivore, eat the meat.  Yes, I get it that you like fish and shrimp, too.  Every now and then, you'd rather take the pasta dish rather than the chicken plate at the convention center/hotel dinner.  But that's not for you. It's for folks who don't eat the chicken plate.  It's unfair for you to take our only option for a meal.

Now when we get to dessert....well, if you like chocolate, you should try to get your plate before me.

Mom-Me Celebration - Day 20: Enjoy a Treat Only You Like

I know moms who don't eat seafood because one of their kids has a seafood allergy. There's others who don't eat cake because they are trying to watch the sugar intake of their little people. I even know of moms who determined that they would stop drinking alcoholic beverages because it was a bad example for the kids.  (Yeah, I'm not sure how they're making it.)  So what's this all get down to?  Yep - you guessed it - more mom sacrifices.  You don't think about it, do you, how much you give up for those little folks.

Today - Enjoy a treat that only you like or that you've denied yourself because the kids don't like it/can't eat it.

Sometimes, we do this for our spouse, too. Maybe he hates Mexican food so you have given up your beloved enchiladas so you can eat every meal together. Perhaps he's all organic and vegan so you just pass by the juicy, meaty bacon cheeseburgers.  You pride yourself on respecting your loved one's diet and keeping the household pleasant.  And you should be proud of that, you're keeping your loved one healthy and happy.

Now, it's your turn. Whether it's a burger at lunch or a separate seafood platter at dinner or a late night cake and ice cream.  Take a moment, indulge yourself.

I think I'm picking up some nut-filled oatmeal chocolate chip cookies - which are totally off my diet and my kids won't eat them. Perfect!

* * *

Follow along here on my blog or on Facebook - JustPiddlin with Frances for our 30-Day Mom-Me Celebration all the way until Mother's Day.

Fast Food for Fast Times

I've been pretty good this summer about feeding the people in my house.  You know - grocery shopping and cooking and stuff like that.  We have still continued the weekly pizza night (my daughter says its a sure sign that I'm tired when I offer "hey, you guys want to get pizza for dinner?") and we've had our share of meals out.  But I've been in the kitchen, too.  I, in fact, like cooking when I have the time.  "When I have the time".  That'll be the key phrase in another week as we head back in to school and all the madness.

Cute lunch bag as a reminder to pack healthy snacks for those busy times.

All of our running around is, of course, after-school, right around dinner time.  On the days I don't have myself together and have dinner ready when they get home, we do end up going through the drive-thru, eating in the car or on the sidelines of somebody's something.  We probably eat more fast food during the school year than in the summer.  At the Mocha Moms Retreat this weekend, McDonald's was providing nutritional information about their menus.  Perfect! since my car has a magnetic pull towards sweet tea and french fries (hence, why I also need to run on a regular basis).  I took a look so that I could get some ideas for the next time I zoom through the drive-thru.

First - figuring out how much my kids should be eating.  I've always thought they really shouldn't be eating a lot.  I mean, they're kids, they're little people.  But, as I read, they are little people with little stomachs and a lot of energy.  And, admittedly, most of our activities are sports related, so my kids are active kids.  According to a couple charts and figures, my little squad should be consuming between 1200 calories (the 7-year old girl) to 1600 calories (the older girls) to 1800 calories (the 9-year old boy)!*  That's as much as I eat.  (Now, I really feel bad for my friends with three boys.)  That puts us at between 400 - 600 calories per meal.  Alright, let's see what the kids can have.

Menu options fit for a kid

Their normal order is a Hamburger (250 calories) and small fries (230 calories) - only 480 calories.  That's not so bad, afterall.  The little one often goes for the Chicken Nugget Happy Meal (410 calories); I like that the apple slices are now a part of the meal, with smaller french fries, rather than the kids having to choose between apples and fries.   I noticed last summer in Europe that the Happy Meals are sold this way.  What kid isn't going to choose the fries if given the choice?  Now, she happily eats both., or sometimes even skips the fries!  For alternatives, I could maybe get the kids to try the Grilled Chicken sandwich (350 calories) or the Southwest Salad with Grilled Chicken (390 calories).  Some good options.

For me?  Its the Fish Sandwich or one of the salads.  I don't eat meat, so those are pretty much my options, as far as entrees, anyway.  But I did notice on one of the info sheets a great tip - I can skip the tartar sauce and get rid of 90 calories.  That's half-way to a vanilla cone (skip the hot fudge) or a small sweet tea.  Another tip, only use half the dressing on the salad - there's the other half of my ice cream cone.

On the list of things that induce mom guilt is feeding the kids fast food.  Reading over this nutritional information is making me feel better.  Do I think we should grab a burger and fries every day?  No, I don't think anybody should eat anything every day (well, except coffee, and maybe rice).  You need a variety in your diet for vitamins and all that good stuff.  But I'm glad to have some options for those days when we are no where near our kitchen.


Check the website for more info on McDonald's menu items or flip over the tray liner next time you order your meal.

*Note - this caloric information is not medical recommendations from me - I'm not a doctor - this is info gleaned from other articles.  Be sure to check with your own kids' doctor if you have questions about their weight, diet, etc.

In a house of carnivores

"What do you eat?"  "What do you feed your family?"

These are the questions I get when someone finds out that I'm on a different diet than the rest of my family.  Its a common question, in fact  have the same reaction when someone says they're a vegan.  I'm the only vegetarian - pescatarian, to be accurate - and the rest of my family are carnivores.  I never intended on being a vegetarian, it was actually supposed to be just a few days, but upon realizing the health benefits, its lasted a few years.

For mothers, in particular, its a bit of a challenge to be on a different food plan than your family.  I say "food plan" because diet seems to imply weight-loss; but the case is the same whether for weight-loss, general health, or life-style.  You have to fix your own food and feed your family, as well.  Cooking one meal is bad enough, right?  Who wants to have to make a special meal for individual tastes, even your own?  Over those years, I've adapted to making two meals without a lot of extra work.  In case anyone else is planning on becoming a vegetarian in a house of carnivores, here's a few ideas.

- What's good for the goose... There's no reason your family can't eat whatever you are fixing for yourself.  I fix fish for the family regularly.  Sometimes I have a couple of varieties on the table, because of preferences - but they are all fixed the same.  For instance, we may have salmon and tilapia, but they are both baked.  I also do whole fish now that my children have surprised me by liking it and getting pretty adept at picking out the bones.

- Adjust family favorites so that you can enjoy them, too.  (No-one will mind!)  One of my favorite dishes is a hot, spicy jambalaya.  Traditionally, this is made with ham and chicken and sausage and whatever else kind of meat the cook decides to throw in.  It requires a lot of chopping and slicing and stirring the pot.  And I don't like doing all that work and missing out on the food.  I now make a seafood version - fish, shrimp, clams - its delicious.

- Add meat on the side.  Prepare fully nutritional, vegetarian foods, and serve with meat.  An easy example - if I want spaghetti, I don't deprive myself because the kids want meat sauce.  Make a sauce and serve meatballs on the side.

- Add meat in a separate pot/dish/pan.  A friend once gave me a delicious vegetarian soup recipe that I instantly thought would be great with some tender cubes of lamb in it.  If I am making something that I would like and that I think the family would like with meat, I begin with making enough for us all and cooking until the point of adding meat.  I take out a portion for myself and finish the two variations.  Works great for chili, soup, and lasagne.

- Explore other cultures.  The American diet is heavily based on meat, but some other cultures, especially island and coastal cuisines, rely less on beef, and more on fish and vegetables.  Sometimes I can't think of what I want to eat, then I remember - oh, yeah - I could eat Korean food!  Rice, kimchi, tofu, fish - I'm set.

- Serve a buffet of options.  This one is a little more work intensive than the others, but the kids enjoy it.     I cook a little bit of different foods and everyone can choose what they want.  Works well for fajitas (chicken, beef, fish, shrimp) and stir-fry.  (And, well, the less-work version - this is also great for all those leftovers in the fridge.)

These are just a few things that have worked for me.  If you have anything else to add, please leave a comment.

Check my In The Kitchen page for recipes for carnivores & vegetarians.

Click here to keep Piddlin' with me on Facebook.

Life, Liberty, and more food...the American way

Welcome to the holiday weight-gain season. Depending on the source, the average American will gain 2 to 12 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Years Day. That's a lot of weight in 5 or 6 weeks. The problem lies in the fact that many of us will hold on to some, if not all of that weight, and then continue the pattern again next year, which contributes to the statistic that more than half of American adults are overweight.

All the talk about holiday weight gain reminded me of an article I read while on vacation this summer. In a London newspaper article (sorry, can't remember the name), the writer lists the holiday vacation destinations where Brits gain the most weight. Topping the list - United States! Brits vacationing in the U.S. for a week can expect to gain almost 8 pounds. The article went on to say how that shouldn't be such a surprise based on the size of the average American citizen. What? I was a bit offended, but as we traveled around, I came to the conclusion that the folks on the other side of the Atlantic, may, in fact, be smaller than those of us in the new land.

There was nothing that blatantly stood out about the difference in size, I only have my family's experiences as my research data. Now, for reference, we are average size people. Yeah, my husband and I could miss a few slices of chocolate cake and not starve, but, well, anyway. I submit the following evidence.

- in Westminster Abbey, there are tombs (a great "eeeww" factor for the kids) and they are kinda short. We wondered are the people actually in there? Did they fold them up upon burial? Why are the tombs so short?

- In Harrod's department store, there is a sign at the escalator warning parents not to take the baby stroller up the escalator. You've seen those mothers - they try to balance 2 wheels of the stroller on one of the steps, then baby starts to wiggle and mom gets all panicked that she and a baby are going to roll down the escalator. In the U.S., the store posts the sign, then leaves it up to you to follow instructions. At Harrod's, they put a metal pole right in the middle of the landing so that the stroller will not fit. Clever. But - it also restricts a person who cannot pass that pole - someone wider than a baby stroller - to get on the escalator! I don't think we could have such a pole at Macy's.

- The hotel elevators are teeny! In our hotel in Paris, it took our family 4 trips to get up to our room when we checked in; without luggage, it was 2 trips. In Amsterdam, my six-year old and I squeezed in with my tote bag and her backpack to get to our rooms.* Rome - the elevator was 1 person wide, 3 of us could get in single file.

- European serving sizes, from a cup of coffee to a full meal, are smaller and more reasonable. But the American meal serving sizes and calorie counts do reach to the level of ridiculousness, when you consider one of our popular restaurants has a fried mac & cheese appetizer that's 1500 calories. The meals I could get used to, but I thought I was going to go into caffeine withdrawal since a 16 oz. cup of coffee was non-existent n the land of cafe au laits and cappuccinos (small, but delicious).

As a proud American, I did my best to refute the article. In conclusion, I found that if you make a concerted effort to find the best ice cream in Europe by having a scoop every day and tasting the signature dessert of the country, from Belgian waffles to cannoli, an American can gain almost as much weight in Europe as vice versa. I do what I can in defense of my country.


*by the way - Hotel V in Amsterdam is a nice, boutique hotel. Obviously used to accommodating young, hip guests, but was great to our family. One night in fact, the young lady at the front desk came over to D and I and said , "the bar is closed, but I know you are traveling with 4 kids, so we will open if you'd like something."

Join the conversation on Facebook: Just Piddlin' with Frances

Done in by a coconut shrimp

My vegan experiment lasted 3 days longer than expected. What started out as a 2 day trial, turned into 5 days.

The kids had a few fits & started but begged to be back in the vegan experiment. My son didn't hardly last at all, he happily threw in the veggies for a ham sandwich by day 2. My oldest daughter couldn't resist the orange chicken at lunch on day 1, but was fine after that, with the daily pass of yogurt pretzels. My middle daughter (who started with me) sailed thru the week. And baby daughter, she thinks she did well, insisting that a hot dog didn't count. With all their determination, they couldn't give up Friday night pizza - with pepperoni.

I made it until Saturday, then my resolve to have a salad and sweet potato gave way to coconut shrimp at lunch, then fried catfish for dinner. Yeah, I not only returned to animal products - but deep fried at that.

So how was the experiment? Interesting. I didn't eat any meat-substitutes like meat-flavored tofu or protein jumbles. But I did eat my fair share of beans, tofu, and rice. And when I turned to Korean food, it was too easy - I could live on rice & kimchi alone. What I did realize though, is how much fat I must eat during the course of my meals, even as one who doesn't eat meat (I think I'm technically a "pescetarian" since I eat fish). A slice of cheese here, a slab of cream cheese there, a piece of fried fish here - I guess it all adds up. The basis of this revelation? I lost a few pounds during the week, but never felt that I was particularly hungry.

As a lifestyle? Nah. It was interesting for the week and I think that I will be a bit more thoughtful in my food selection (do I have to have the burrito with cheese, isn't the guac enough?) but I can't imagine giving up Mocha Almond Fudge or Chunky Monkey forever.

Vegan experiment - continued

Day 1 went by pretty easy. But it did require some thought and reminders that cheese is made from animal product. Lunch was pita & hummus for me, daughter #1 couldn't resist the orange chicken in the school cafeteria, daughter #2 enjoyed her rice and beans. Dinner was broccoli, sweet potato, and couscous (the meat-eaters had chicken along with that).

I went grocery shopping to pick up more fruits and veggies. Most of the shopping was done on the outside edges of the grocery store, which diet experts say is the healthiest.

Day 2 -had AlmondMilk for breakfast - kinda tasty, daughter #2 and #3 liked it. PBJ, apples and water for lunch. Daughter #1 made a broccoli spaghetti sauce and spaghetti for dinner, and they had that and AlmondMilk for dinner. We also went to the Adventist store and wandered the vegetarian aisles. Daughter #1 was excited to realize that fruit popsicles are vegan-friendly! We left the soy ice cream in the freezer.

Wine is also a nice vegan option.

Vegan experiment

I stopped eating meat as an experiment. I passed up ham and pepperoni pizza, hamburgers, and fried chicken for crab cakes and cheese quesadillas. I thought I'd last a day or so - a week at most. That was a little over 2 years ago. With the exception of fish & seafood, I don't eat meat. I don't consider myself a "vegetarian" because of the connotations that that classification carries. Generally speaking, vegetarians feel that meat is bad for you or cruel to animals or something like that. I just have realized that my preference for the way meat is cooked (fried, slathered with gravy) is not the healthiest for me. And despite that, I do eat fried fish.

Last week, Oprah had an episode about being a vegan. Her staff went vegan for a week, they changed the menu in the cafeteria, the changed their diets at home to see what it was all about. Now this was something I've never considered - life without ice cream and cheese? No meat is one thing, but no deviled eggs either? Watching the show with my 9-year old, we chatted about how that would be impossible - then we decided we would try it to see how we would do.

We started today. We're going to give it two days. I am allowing myself creamer for my coffee because, really, giving up every animal product is enough. She had dried cereal for breakfast and is having rice & beans for lunch (thanks to a friend who dropped some off the other day). I think that's what I'm going to have for lunch, too. And I'm looking at this website - 21-Day Vegan Kickstart (http://www.pcrm.org/kickstartHome) - that another mentioned a few weeks ago for some guidance.

mmmmm - celery sticks :-)

We can't blame McDonald's for everything

I watched a report on the news the other day about a woman who was suing McDonald’s because she felt that the toy in the Happy Meal attracted children to an unhealthy meal, and then she, as a parent, had to tell her child “no”, they couldn’t get the meal nor the toy. But, she continued, then her child would become upset and she would have the parenting challenge of having to deal with this upset child, therefore, she was suing McDonald’s to get them to take the toy out of the Happy Meal.

I’m not saying that children should get every one of those little dolls and cars and crazy toys. Sometimes, as a parent, I have to say “no” to my kids and they pout and fuss. But I don’t think it’s McDonald’s fault. If we could blame companies for our children fussing and pouting over things they can’t have, I’d also have a case against UnderArmour, Aeropostale, and Toys R’ Us.

In recent years, people have also blamed McDonald’s for childhood obesity. If it weren’t for those french fries and double cheeseburgers, all the children in the country would be healthy, athletic, and fit into their clothes.

Not to ignore the issue of childhood obesity and all of the health factors that accompany it – high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, compromises to the bone structure, early development and puberty. I witness it every time I walk into one of my children’s schools and see kindergartners that are the size of my middle-schooler. But, again, I don’t think it’s McDonald’s fault.

This isn’t an effort to defend McDonald’s, Lord knows they have enough money and resources to defend themselves. But instead, it’s a view of how much we’ve let corporations and other entities become the scapegoats for parental responsibility. Kids are fat? Blame fast food restaurants and school vending machines. Kids getting into trouble? Blame the lack of after-school activities. Kids are dressed too maturely? Blame music videos. Kids walk around cursing? Blame Hollywood. Are we too scared to blame the parents?

Let’s consider childhood obesity, a serious problem. If kids are fat, we have to look at what the parents are doing. Kids can’t sit in front of the TV, playing video games, and texting their friends all day. They have to go run up and down the street, playing real games with their friends in person. Parents have to make sure they aren’t allowing their children to eat french fries and hamburgers and a shake for every meal. They need to make sure they get in a vegetable at some point during the day. Parents have to provide something other than a bag of chips and a soda for an after school snack. I know parents and families are busy; our own family has at least one after-school activity every day of the week, many overlapping dinner time. Its easy to get caught in the drive-thru routine to pick up dinner. But with some careful planning, you can avoid the burger & fries for dinner every night. Fix the kids a grilled chicken sandwich, pack it with a bag of carrot sticks and a bottle of water and bring it along in the car. Have fruit available when the kids get home from school. Bring along grapes as a snack when running errands rather than getting cookies and a candy bar out of the vending machines. It takes a little more effort and planning ahead, no doubt, but its healthier and less stressful.

And every now and then, go ‘head – take the drive-thru and get them the Happy Meal, complete with a new little pony or big wheel truck, and sit back and watch a good show on TV. Its all in moderation.