Mom-Me Celebration: What My Mother Taught Me

My mother was the first to hold me and bathe me and brush my hair. So much of who I am comes from all that she taught me, either by intention or by example.  She taught me how to cook and take care of my house. My mother taught me how to run a business and manage my money. She taught me how to let my husband be the head of my household and hold my tongue (though my husband may suggest that I'm still learning). My mother taught me how to play jacks and ride a bike. And she stood back and let me figure out how to fix a broken chain or a flat tire on that bike.  She taught me how to draw and color and crochet. She's trying to teach me how to knit.  She took me to piano lessons, every week, for years.  She taught me to show respect for my elders.  She taught me how to walk and how to swim. She took me around the world and always made a home to return to.  She taught me how to braid my hair and paint my nails.  Because of my mother, I tell my kids "good night and I love you."  Because of my mother, I count rice as a major food group and as a bona fide meal. She taught me to write and tried to teach me how to hold a pencil correctly. She checked my math homework and let me go to the library. My mother has never closed the door.  She's always let me dream.  She said "no" plenty of times, as a mother should.  My mother was not my friend, she always was and is, my mother.  She kept me safe.  My mother taught me to love. My mother taught me to be a mom.

Happy Mother's Day

Mom-Me Celebration - Day 28: Go windsurfing!

When was the last time you did something you liked to do or something just for you?  I've given you a few hints of Mom-ME stuff to do over the past month, but then I thought "what if I didn't include the something that someone wanted to do?" What if someone loves windsurfing and they have not been windsurfing in forever because no-one else in their family likes to windsurf or all the family vacations are in the mountains far away from the wind and the surf and they just need someone to say "hey, take a day to go windsurfing."  So there, I said it.  Go windsurfing.

In addition to all the other mothering duties - laundry, dishes, dinner, blah blah blah - we also are responsible for entertaining the family.  Though, one may argue that this duty has taken on quite an extraordinary level of work since we (I) was a kid. It used to mean buying my brother and I a jumprope and a ball and then going back in the house to watch The Young & The Restless. Now, it means buying a jumprope for each kid and a ball and an airpump and some bases, actually going outside and setting up the bases somewhere safe, being sure to put up the orange "kids playing" sign on the street if the end of the cul de sac is the ballfield, and putting elbow and knee pads and a helmet on the kids and getting any neighbor kids' parents to sign a waiver in case they somehow skin their knee and and playing with the kids.  Yeah, and then you never get to go windsurfing.

And you walk around pouting that instead of windsurfing, you are playing kickball or cooking dinner. And you remember how much you liked windsurfing and how good you were at it.  And you lament that you will now be way too old when you don't have to play kickball anymore to dare getting on a windsurfer board.  Yes, I hear you, momma!

Determine, or should I say - remember, what it is that you like to do. Not what you like to do with your kids, or with your hubby. Or  not even what you like to do with your mom-friends.

You by yourself, complete this sentence: "Wow, I sure love to [windsurf]."

And now go do that thing. If you can't do it today, for instance, if you happen  to be in your living room or waiting in your car rather than sitting somewhere in your bathing suit, then make a concrete plan to do it tomorrow or sometime soon.  And by "concrete" I do mean written in stone (as much as motherhood plans can be).  Make a vacation reservation near wind and surf, call the local community college or specialty school and sign up for a class to refresh your skills, pull out all your stuff you need and blow the dust off of it.  Make a plan to do something that you really enjoy doing.

Enjoy windsurfing!

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Mom-Me Celebration - Day 26: Ignore those happy Facebook posts

Enjoying a delicious dinner with plenty of veggies I prepared with my kids. I love using my good china for every day meals.
Now that all the laundry's done and shelves are dusted, I can snuggle and read with my favorite teen.

Wistfully counting the minutes until my sweet cherubs return home from school.

You know those moms with Facebook posts like that?  Don’t they make you cringe and look around at your piles of laundry, pizza boxes, and tumbling in the living room floor children and wonder where you went wrong?  Here’s the solution to that: de-friend those people. Or at least, scroll on past their posts.

Recent research is revealing that reading Facebook posts makes some people (i.e. mostly women) feel sad and more depressed by way of comparison to their own lives.  (You can google “facebook envy” for more details.)  What?  I thought we were all on Facebook for fun? We surely don’t need another thing in our lives to make us all moody and reaching for a glass of wine to quell our feelings of inadequacy. We’ve got our kids’ report cards and dentist visits for that.

I laughed at a friend’s post the other day that essentially read, “came home from work and my baby threw up on me.” I wasn’t laughing at her – I can’t stand any type of projectile bodily fluid – but relieved that someone actually posted a real mommy moment. Motherhood is wonderful and beautiful and fulfilling.  But it’s also tough – it’s tiring, it’s dirty, it’s messy. And we don’t help anyone – not each other, not ourselves – in pretending that it’s all sweet milk breath and lullabies.

One of the reasons I like hanging out with my friends in real-life is because we can honestly say, “my house is a mess and I’m too tired to clean it up.” Or “I don’t know what to do about my kid’s science teacher.” Or, “Am I supposed to feel like this during pregnancy/after delivery/when they go off to college?” And someone will give you an honest answer. That’s helpful. That’s reassuring. That’s a friend.

Mom-Me Celebration: Something didn’t go right today but you’re still a good mom. Post it to Facebook (if you dare breaking that perfect vision of you as mom) and tag “Just Piddlin with Frances” so we can all feel better.  Now pass the M&M's and the remote, the kids will be home soon.

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Mom-Me Celebration - Day 22: Relax and do something for yourself!

Who doesn't love a Friday?  Working moms, stay-at-home moms, a little-bit-of-both moms.  It's Friday!  No school tomorrow, maybe the kids don't have to get up in the morning and maybe you don't either.  Let the big yellow bus drop off the little folks, then kick back and relax.

I asked a couple blog-ger friends how they relax and what little thing can moms do for themselves, just in case you are stuck for ideas.

Robyn Bourne owner of Sydney Austin Designs (hip handcrafted jewelry) and chief blogger for www.sydneyaustindesigns.blogspot.com

What I do to enjoy a moment for myself: I take the dog for a walk to reflect on my day and enjoy nature, being outside. Plus it gives me 30 minutes of exercise. 

All moms should have a girlfriend to vent to, cute workout clothes ( toss the ugly sweats and oversize tees), a good sunscreen, a day at the spa at least once a year, a reasonable cute pair of flats, a hot outrageous pair of heels, and a statement necklace that can be worn day or night.

From CandidBelle

To enjoy a moment for myself I take a hot shower and then I enjoy a cup of ginger peach white tea (avoiding wine while I'm breastfeeding) and some dark chocolate. 

I think moms should get a new outfit or new accessories when they can. Once you have children you always put them first, so focusing on your own sense of style can make you feel fabulous. 

Notice how the "relaxing" stuff emphasizes natural elements - walks outside, exercise, white tea.  It doesn't have to be manufactured to calm you.

And I agree that cute accessories and your own personal style are a must! Blah blah blah about feeling good about the inside of you and all that (that's important, too) but truth be told - we all feel better when we look good, right?

What about you - what you are you doing to relax?

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Follow along here on my blog or on Facebook - JustPiddlin with Frances for our 30-Day Mom-Me Celebration all the way until Mother's Day.

Mom-Me Celebration - Day 21: Go on Vacation!

How often do we daydream, arms elbow deep in a sink full of dishwater or carrying a load of laundry, of being on a tropic isle sipping mai tais?  Wouldn't that be great if we could just pack our bikini and jump on a plane?  Or perhaps you're more the type to pull on your khaki's and go on a safari.  Any vacation spot would be better than home cleaning the bathroom and taking out the recycling, right?  So,  go!  Maybe it's not realistic to call your travel agent (do people use a travel agent anymore?) and book your family on a 10-day cruise around the Mediterranean leaving tomorrow.  But what's stopping you from heading to the nearby Greek restaurant for dinner?

Venture out and take the family to an international restaurant for dinner.

If you want to keep it simple or you know the kids aren't that adventurous, go somewhere with food they are used to but take it up a notch.  Take a mini-trip to Italy and get good pizza from a good Italian spot.  Nothing against the chain delivery options, but stretch a little bit; at least find somewhere that you can get a glass of wine with your dinner.  Pass by Taco Bell and find a Mexican restaurant where margaritas, housemade chips and salsa are an option.  My kids and I have "discovered" a delicious little Chinese restaurant that we've passed by for years.  Rice and some kind of chicken are a staple, but then we also peruse the menu for something new. Steamed bread is one of our new favorites; whatever seafood dish of the day is my go-to choice.

Korean hot pot soup - kimchees, seafood - all boiling & hot!

If you can push your kids a bit, or heck, if its just what you want to eat - try somewhere new and different than what you're used to.  A few weeks ago, we joined family friends for dinner at an Ethiopian restaurant. Although my kids have friends who are from Ethiopia and have tasted the culture's food, I wasn't sure how they would like a full dinner in the cuisine. And I don't know why I was worried that perhaps they wouldn't like eating with their hands!  We actually had to order additional food!  It doesn't have to be fancy; even going to a casual spot can be different.  I like hummus and falafel, so taking the kids out for that is an adventure. A Girl Scout mom told me about the cuisine of West Africa.... hmm, I need to find a restaurant.

Our Ethiopian platter "before" the kids decided they do like Ethiopian... pass the injera please!

And if you aren't crazy about going out to eat - I get it, eating out with kids is not always the wonderful experience you imagine in your head as you pile in the car - make another plan. Either leave them home or bring the food to your home.  Order in, try out a new international recipe.  Whatever you do, don't feel like you're confined to steak and potatoes and your kitchen.

Go on vacation!  Where you going?

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Follow along here on my blog or on Facebook - JustPiddlin with Frances for our 30-Day Mom-Me Celebration all the way until Mother's Day.

Mom-Me Celebration - Day 20: Enjoy a Treat Only You Like

I know moms who don't eat seafood because one of their kids has a seafood allergy. There's others who don't eat cake because they are trying to watch the sugar intake of their little people. I even know of moms who determined that they would stop drinking alcoholic beverages because it was a bad example for the kids.  (Yeah, I'm not sure how they're making it.)  So what's this all get down to?  Yep - you guessed it - more mom sacrifices.  You don't think about it, do you, how much you give up for those little folks.

Today - Enjoy a treat that only you like or that you've denied yourself because the kids don't like it/can't eat it.

Sometimes, we do this for our spouse, too. Maybe he hates Mexican food so you have given up your beloved enchiladas so you can eat every meal together. Perhaps he's all organic and vegan so you just pass by the juicy, meaty bacon cheeseburgers.  You pride yourself on respecting your loved one's diet and keeping the household pleasant.  And you should be proud of that, you're keeping your loved one healthy and happy.

Now, it's your turn. Whether it's a burger at lunch or a separate seafood platter at dinner or a late night cake and ice cream.  Take a moment, indulge yourself.

I think I'm picking up some nut-filled oatmeal chocolate chip cookies - which are totally off my diet and my kids won't eat them. Perfect!

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Follow along here on my blog or on Facebook - JustPiddlin with Frances for our 30-Day Mom-Me Celebration all the way until Mother's Day.

Mom-Me Celebration - Day 18: Have your coffee "Here"

Caffeine is a staple in my life, that's not even a question.  I have a cup of coffee 365 mornings of the year and it goes into either of two types of cups - a mug or a travel cup.

If I will be in the house, it goes into my Animal Kingdom cheetah mug or San Diego Zoo monkey mug.  On the days I'm running out the door, it goes into my Madrid mug from Starbucks. This is not an ad for Starbucks (though I will gladly accept gift cards) but these are the best travel mugs.  The little top flap clips down and is totally spill-proof. I will actually throw this in my tote bag with my iPad and phone with no worries. This is a great feature when you need both hands as you're running around.  However, today, we're focusing on having our coffee "here".

My "to go" cup and my "here" mug - one, or sometimes both, get filled every morning

The cheetah and monkey mug days are the at home days. Those days can still be busy, but in a different way than running around. There is a certain calmness in not driving all over the place, not sitting in traffic and parking and driving some more, even if the day at home is filled with laundry and housework interspersed with episodes of writing.

But I'm suggesting taking it even a step further and enjoy that coffee "here" while being relatively still, because I know its impossible for a busy mom to totally be unmoving.  Whether your "here" cup is on your office desk or kitchen counter, enjoy your coffee while taking a moment to collect your thoughts, calmly write out your to-do list (keeping it to a reasonable length), and breathe a good full, deep breath.

Enjoy.

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Follow along here on my blog or on Facebook - JustPiddlin with Frances for our 30-Day Mom-Me Celebration all the way until Mother's Day.

Mom-Me Celebration - Day 16: Go Buy Yourself Something Pretty

I'm out today enjoying my sorority chapter's fashion show.  It's a big to-do. As well as it being our scholarship fundraiser, it's a fun day to get dressed up and hang out with girlfriends and ooh and aah over pretty dresses that you can't imagine where you will wear them to in your current lifestyle of chaperoning field trips and hanging out at sports games. But it definitely gets you in the mood for today's challenge - go buy yourself something pretty.

Don't you deserve something pretty?

You may have noticed that several of my challenges thus far (and coming up) are to go out and buy something for yourself - lipstick, nail polish, a new bra - and now "something pretty". Why? When was  the last time you bought yourself a pair of shoes? Or a new dress? Or whatever it is that makes you feel special or ladylike or attractive or whatever positive way you want to feel about yourself? I recently saw an online survey (not very scientific, I don't guess) asking moms how long ago it was that they did buy something for themselves and if a long time, why? You can imagine, or maybe you are one of the moms who could answer "I haven't bought anything in 6 months because the kids needed XYZ."  It points to the sacrifice that moms make for their kids. How often have you thought, "oh, I'd like a new dress, but Johhnie needs new cleats." "I'd love to have those new shoes, but Suzy needs a new tutu." Or maybe it's not even financial; perhaps by the time you get off of work, run the kids all over town, throw together dinner, and get the little folks in p.j.s, the mall is closed and you're too tired to even point & click to a new pair of shoes. Moms - you give up a lot for your kids. Take a moment, a few dollars, for yourself.

Now, I realize that there are families in financial hardship and I'm not suggesting that you put your family's shelter and food in jeopardy for your own frivolous spending. You'll notice that there's no dollar value attached to "go buy..."  I bought a flower hairclip at H&M for about $2 the other day; maybe that'll be enough for you, too. Or maybe, a new $500 pair of shoes fits into your budget, I don't know. But the point is - be selfish for just long enough to make yourself feel good.

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Follow along here on my blog or on Facebook - JustPiddlin with Frances for our 30-Day Mom-Me Celebration all the way until Mother's Day.

The Book I'm Carrying Around: Life in Spades by Frances Frost

Yes, we are still in the Mom-Me Celebration. The assignment for today, Day 15 is to Take steps toward your destination.

Ever since I was a kid, walking across the field and then the big 4-lane road to the library, I've wanted to be a writer. I dabbled with poems (what teen-age girl didn't?) and the Christmas play. And in the back of my mind, behind the finance degree, my hands still ached to crank out a novel. And so I have.

My debut novel, Life in Spades.

Life in Spades is my debut novel. It is about four women who depend on each other as partners to win at the game of spades and lean on each other as friends as they face their insecurities, negotiate love, define happiness.  Gina, Sherry, Cookie and Laura deal with inter-racial dating, the desire for motherhood, overcoming loss and starting again, and in all that, determining what they really want.  I'm sure that you will find them to be the girlfriends you'd like to hang out with - or maybe the ones you already do.  (The number 1 question from my friends so far is "you didn't write anything about me, did you?"  Ha ha - no comment!)

At 370 pages, I can assure you that this novel did not come together last month. It's been months, yes, years, in the making. Between shuffling kids, after cooking dinner, while waiting in the car, after everybody has gone to bed, I've been writing. While driving around, swimming laps, and folding clothes, I've been thinking.  Like a mad woman, I've seen people out in public and thought, "hey, there goes Laura and Michael. I like his suit. I like what she's done with her hair."

It's been a long journey and it's almost surreal now that there are 100 copies sitting in my dining room, some ready for shipping, most for my first book event tomorrow. But it didn't just happen. I finally made the decision that I did not want to keep these pages on my laptop forever. And as my husband kept nagging telling me: you aren't really an author until someone reads your stuff. Good point. I determined that I really did want to be an author with readers who read my stuff.

• I made a plan of writing each day.
• I challenged myself with NaNoWriMo; if you are a wanna-be novelist - try it out: write 50,000 words in the month of November. But realize that this is less than half your first, rough draft.
• I thought about my characters and what was natural for them.
• I took writing classes and formed a writing critique group with other like-minded women. The support of the writing group is incredible because you know what you meant when you wrote something and you think it's a great idea. In our writing group, we've developed enough rapport and trust among each other to say "this works, tweak it to make it better", "this doesn't work, throw it out or fix it a lot." Even, "I don't think she would say/do/think that."
• I've determined my strengths and weaknesses in this process, and worked towards my strengths, hired folks for my weaknesses.
• And I am now, with anticipation, excitement, nervousness seeing it all come together.

I challenge you to do the same. What are you wanting to do? What is your big dream? What can you do today, this week, this month towards that dream?

A few months ago, I ran into a friend who was carrying around a "How to Fly Helicopters" book. I thought she had it for some kind of school project for one of her friends. I was wrong. She was reading it because she wanted to fly helicopters! She said she always wanted to, realized she'd be too old when her kids grew up, and was pursuing it now. I've never been in a helicopter, but I want to go with her once she's got it all figured out.  Because I want to fly, too.

Read more about Life in Spades and my debut as an author at www.francesfrost.com.  The book is available in paperback and e-book; currently through the website and Amazon.com.

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Follow along here on my blog or on Facebook - JustPiddlin with Frances for our 30-Day Mom-Me Celebration all the way until Mother's Day.

Mom-Me Celebration - Day 14: Buy A New Bra for Yourself

The last few days, we've relaxed, cleaned our car.  Now, time for a little shopping because like the advise on the shopping bag, every woman wants to FEEL BEAUTIFUL.

Weight gain - weight loss, pregnancy related or not. Breast-feeding. Age. Our bodies have gone through a lot of changes. Our undergarments need to keep up.  According to Soma Intimates, 80% of us are walking around with the wrong size bra.

If you've ever watched "What Not to Wear" or Oprah you know you've got to measure yourself and have properly fitting bras. You've got to check the inch measurement - the circumference of your ribcage/torso - as well as the cup size, the measurement around your breasts.  Both sizes fluctuate with all your body changes, so don't guess.  Someone at the lingerie stores or department stores can help you; and if you are shy, you can do it yourself - just use a real tape measure.

Now that you've got your measurements - has what you want the bra to DO also changed?  Support. Lift. Push-up. Accentuate. What are you trying to do with your figure?  That probably changes on different days. Do you need the push-up padded red lace trim peeking out the top of your blouse for your volunteer-at-school day?  (The correct answer, if you are wondering, would be "no".)  Maybe you want more than the basic beige support for date night. And do you have one of those clear-strap or strapless bras so that when you wear that cute sundress you don't have ugly bra straps hanging out (even if they are a matching or coordinating color, bra straps aren't supposed to be visible).  Or maybe, you need something totally functional - a sports bra so your work-out is more comfortable.  What do you want your bra to do?

Think about how you want your bra to LOOK. Do you feel any particular way depending on what you wear? Sexier? Older? Straight-laced? Do you want to feel a different way?  You can do more than white and black and beige.  Consider a new color, a fun pattern - it'll be your own little secret of what's under your basic mom button-down shirt (well, unless/until you want to share your secret with someone).

And don't whine about COST.  Whether you are shopping at Target or LaPerla or buying that VS diamond encrusted bra - your bra should still FIT.

Even if you don't have time to go shopping for a new bra today - at least go through your current inventory. I bet there's at least 1 that doesn't need to be in there anymore. Too big, too small. Broken strap, pokey wire. Ugly (definitely get rid of the ugly ones). All your breasts are spilling over the top not in a cute and sexy way.  The cups are only half-full - or half-empty, depending on how you look at things. You don't even need a good reason other than "I don't like it." Get rid of it.

Today's summary: Toss an old bra, measure yourself, buy a new bra.  Simple.  Enjoy!

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Check out other ideas for your 30-Day Mom-Me Celebration!

Mom-Me Celebration - Day 12, 13 - Relax & Clean Out Your Car

No - Day 12 & 13 are totally not related - don't try to find a deeper meaning.  These are all pretty random, whatever I feel like we need that day.

Mom-Me Celebration - Day 12 - I wanted to know how you RELAX?  Or do you even relax? When I posted it on Facebook, I had to give it some deep thought myself.  I tried to remember the last time I totally vegged out in front of the TV doing absolutely nothing else.  I'm usually doing at least 2 things, even when I'm relaxing.  Watched The Voice the other night - really like "playing along" by listening with my back to the TV and deciding whether I will turn around (you do it, too, right?).  And while I was listening, I was on the computer doing some sorority task and getting ready for my PTA meeting.  This - focusing on doing nothing but relaxing - is something I need to focus on.

Mom-Me Celebration - Day 13 - Take 30 Minutes and Clean out your car.  Did you find the time today?  This is what I found: a clothes hanger, water bottles (both empty and full), Apples to Apples cards, those wax bottle candies (you know the kind with the sweet juice inside?), shoes (mine).  What have your kids left behind in the car?

If you are anything like me, your car is your second home. There are days that I spend more hours driving and going somewhere than I do in my real living room.  And just like at home, every now and then, its time to clean up so you aren't pushing reusable grocery bags and old magazines around on that passenger seat, looking for the carplug to your cell phone.  I'd like to add some more decorative touches - you know how some people have those solar flowers that wave back and forth or the hula girl on the dashboard? Maybe not exactly like that, but something. My car's pretty basic.  Any ideas?

Follow along here on my blog or on Facebook - JustPiddlin with Frances for our 30-Day Mom-Me Celebration all the way until Mother's Day.

Mom-Me Celebration - Day 11: Breathe

I don't have a life coach, although there are days when it could be argued that I need one. But I do have a friend that I know I can turn to if I ever have any questions about a healthy spirit and diet.  Besides being a positive spirit, Darrilyn has good vegetarian recipes and turned me on to Flaxseed Tortilla Chips from Traders Joe's.  (Trust me, they are better than they sound and make eating tortilla chips feel less guilty.)  I knew I  wanted as part of my 30-day Mom-Me Celebration a day to relax, so she was the one I went to. And her tip for you today, busy, harried, wearing too many hats, to-do list long as your arm moms?

Mom-Me Celebration - Day 11: BREATHE


PAUSE

Mothers, there are often times in our lives when it is wise to just pause and take a deep breath.  In those circumstances, no words are necessary.  In fact, words are not even advised.  In the moment of a pause, so much can happen.  Chattering thoughts begin to dissipate, regrettable words are halted, a heightened listening   occurs and new solutions begin to form.   Pause- what a simple, conscious, bold act!  

BREATHE

Anyone ever tell you. “Just Breathe?”  Depending on the circumstance, you may have wanted to slap them or thank them.  Breathing is crucial to keep the energy flowing in our bodies.  Mothers, who are constantly on the go, even when they aren’t moving, definitely need to breathe.  Ever notice when babies breathe, their diaphragms move up and down rhythmically?  Most adults take shallow breaths instead of deep ones.  That especially becomes true when you are upset or excited.  Next thing you know, you find yourself in a Yoga class, and they have to teach you to breathe again.




So, mothers, when your offspring misbehave and you’re ready to yell, BREATHE.

When you hear the glass shatter that they weren’t  supposed  to use anyway, BREATHE.

When your beloved disappoints you for the umpteenth time and you’re ready to flick off, BREATHE.

When folks just don’t/won’t act the way you want them to, BREATHE.


Below is an exercise to refresh YOU:

Reserve a moment of quiet time each day for YOU- a time to be still. Perhaps, it is at first light or late at night, but optimally when you have privacy.  

•                Sit comfortably in a straight back chair, with feet flat on the floor and nothing in your lap. Close your eyes.

•                Place your left index finger on your left nostril and breathe air in deeply through right nostril. Hold the breath for as long as possible and exhale slowly through right nostril. Do this 5 times.  

•                Repeat this process holding your right nostril and breathe in and out through the left nostril 5 times.

•                Sit quietly for a moment and notice how your body and mind feel at the end of this exercise.  

DANCE

Put on your favorite song and shake your body.  Move, twirl, shimmy, jump, drop it like it’s hot, and get your dance on!  


Want more on a healthy spirit?  The Creative Visualization Workbook: Use the Power of Your Imagination to Create What You Want in Your Life by Shakti Gawain and Healing Chakra by Ilchi Lee.


Check out Darrilyn's blog at www.deliciouslifecoach.com or contact her at darrilyn@deliciouslifecoach.com.

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Follow along here on my blog or on Facebook - JustPiddlin with Frances for our 30-Day Mom-Me Celebration all the way until Mother's Day.

Mom-Me Celebration - Day 10: Eat Breakfast

We all know that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. To kick-start your day (and your metabolism), to fuel you for the morning rush and sustain you until lunch, to set a good example for the kids. For all those reasons and more that you can google, we know we're supposed to begin our day with more than a cup of coffee. But how many moms really do it? And I admit, I'm often guilty of skipping breakfast, too.

Mom-Me Celebration - Day 10: Eat breakfast!

I've found that I - and the kids - do better about eating a balanced breakfast with a little bit of pre-planning, starting at the grocery store all the way to the kitchen. On a good morning, I lay out a few choices on the counter from which we can all choose, along with the milk and juice.  This not only saves time (every body doesn't have to rummage through the pantry or refrigerator) but also encourages me to eat, too.  After breakfast, it's all easy clean-up, too - the food is either gone or easily wrapped up and put back in the fridge. Some ideas of what to put out on the "breakfast buffet":

• boiled eggs - they last in the fridge for days, so boil enough to take you through a few days, even a week. And they're portable, so you can take it with you if you don't have time to sit at the table.
• slices of cheese, cheesesticks
• sliced ham, turkey
• bagels and cream cheese
• cold cereal
• fruit
• yogurt
• granola, nuts
• oatmeal - there's some crock-pot recipes out there that you can start before you go to bed; I'm not a big oatmeal person, but I'm intending on trying some

You obviously don't have to put out everything every day. Switch it up and keep it interesting. Add to that, any vitamins or supplements you take.

This morning, I made biscuits - because who doesn't love warm bread for breakfast? Usually, I don't have time for anything more than the canned, pre-made biscuits on a Sunday morning, but I found a quick drop biscuit recipe in the May issue of Cooking Light that took me no more than 10 minutes to mix together, and then another 10-15 minutes in the oven.  They were ready by the time my coffee was done.  The drop biscuits were a "make-over recipe" and were lower in calories, fat, and sodium than a regular biscuit. Of course, I've never met a recipe I didn't tweak, so here's a few changes I made out of necessity and they turned out fine.

• No whole wheat flour - I used regular flour instead
• No buttermilk - added a tablespoon of lemon juice to the measuring cup, then measured to the 1 1/4 cup line for the milk
• No canola oil - used another tablespoon of melted butter
• If I make these again, and I think I will, I would add maybe another teaspoon of sugar. I also think they would be good with cheddar cheese mixed into them, like those yummy cheese biscuits served at some restaurants.

Don't forget your morning coffee or tea.

Enjoy your breakfast!

Follow along here on my blog or on Facebook - JustPiddlin with Frances for our 30-Day Mom-Me Celebration all the way until Mother's Day.

Mom-Me Celebration - Day 9: Wake up & Be Inspired!

"What inspires you?"

Whenever  I come across that question - usually on some blog about inspiration or a personality test of some sort - I have to pause and think.  It's the fancy way of asking "why do you do what you do?"  I sometimes struggle to answer this simpler version, coming up with little more than "'cause that's what I've been doing." That's an okay answer for a while, but I'm finding that it's not enough to sustain you for long.

For Day 9 of the Mom-Me Celebration, the challenge was to Wake up & Be Inspired.

Me & the kids ready for our 1-mile and 5K

The "wake up" part?  Literally - because I was getting up early on a Saturday morning. Figuratively - because we often wander around in a tired, half-sleep, task-focused haze.

"Be inspired."  We all need inspiration, for whatever it is you're doing. Whether raising your kids or running a corporation, fixing dinner or volunteering on the PTA, "if not me, who?" will only take you so far. After a while, it turns into "if not them, why me?" We get tired and burnt out and well, sometimes, just plain bored. Then what?

If we're lucky, we find something or someone that gives you a boost, that gives you the push to do what you do.

This morning, I ran in a local 5K - Ben's Run.  Its one I've known about since the inaugural one 3 years ago, but I've been out of town the previous 2 years. Also, a first, my kids participated, too so that they could be a part of something that benefits other children.  The Run benefits Children's National Medical Center, in memory of Ben, a little boy who passed away in 2009 after a battle with a form of Leukemia. I met his mother, Clare, last night during the bib-pickup and silent auction (didn't win the Vera Bradley bag or dinner). I was amazed that she had the vision and the strength to put together this event for the past three years in memory of her child. Whenever I hear of a child who has passed, I always wonder about the mother - how does she breathe her next breath, and continued to do that over and over again after her child is gone? I wanted to ask her that, but obviously, it's been a busy weekend. Today, they had about 1000 registrants for this "little" neighborhood event. As of this race, they've raised over $150,000 for the children's hospital.

Clare Goldfogle, Ben's mother, thanks the crowd for the donations benefitting Children's National Medical Center

At the race, I ran into a few friends and neighbors who had laced up their sneakers and were ready to brave the cold. Why did we bother? We had already paid our registration, i.e. there was nothing more to be gained by us actually showing up and running through the streets. But I think we all felt compelled to participate, to physically be there, not just send our money. My older daughters asked if they could volunteer next year.  After the race, when I got home and checked my email, a fellow PTA parent who participated in the race sent me a note that said we should start a Girls on the Run program at our school.  My youngest daughter asked what happened to Ben and did he lose his hair? And what did my friend who volunteers with DonateLife mean by saying we could donate our organs?  These are hard discussions, but I think her participating and reading the information made it a little more easier to begin.

When we do what we do, we never know who we will affect. And we never know who will affect us. If we're blessed, we'll be inspired. Or even be an inspiration.

Please read more about this little boy, his family, and his memorial race on www.BensRun.org - I won't pretend I know more than I do by trying to tell his story. And once you've been inspired by his mother, you can click and make a donation.

UPDATE: I finally settled down long enough to talk with Clare. You can read more about her thoughts and her own inspiration in my post on skirt.com.

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Mom-Me Celebration - Day 8: Do Your Nails

Washing dishes, housekeeping, cooking, giving baths and braiding hair. Walking to the bus stop, carrying laundry up and down the stairs, running after kids all over the place. Moms, our hands and feet go through a workout!

On Day 8 of our Mom-Me Celebration, do your nails!  Whether at home, the corner nail salon, or a fancy spa, take a few minutes to stop what you're doing and take care of the hands that are so busy taking care of your family and the feet weary from carrying you all over the place.

Do you go bold or conservative with your nail color?

Manicures & pedicures are my self-pampering indulgence (and I know I'm not the only one). I've been busy lately, and a little stressed and tired, and I felt like I was way overdue for both. After running some errands this morning, I sat and did my fingernails in the quiet of my kitchen. And now that we are (hopefully) getting to sandal season, what a great excuse to go out and get my toes done.

A few seats over from me was a little kid. She was maybe 7 years old, sitting up in the plush seat, relaxing while the manicurist buffed her feet, trimmed her nails, massaged her hands, and painted her teeny toenails & fingernails. So, yeah. I do feel some kind of way about spa treatments for kids. What is that about? Is it spoiling the kid? Is it about the economic values being taught? Is it making her feel like she's been under so much stress that she deserves to be pampered? Is it about a child being serviced by grown women?  Maybe its about the overindulgence of kids in general (okay, yeah that made sound like an old lady.) Maybe its some selfishness, as in "why are there kids here in my relaxing space, can't we have anything for ourselves?" Yeah, it's a little bit of all of that.

As for me? My nails are a nice bright pink and coral and I feel sandal-ready. Did you do your nails today?

Follow along here on my blog or on Facebook - JustPiddlin with Frances for our 30-Day Mom-Me Celebration all the way until Mother's Day.

Mom-Me Celebration - Day 7: Clear Your Personal Space

Today, you have permission to get rid of that stuff in your house that is old, broken, and unused.  You know, the curling iron that works if you jiggle it and hold it just so.  The rice pot that doesn't keep rice hot for longer than 5 minutes.  The blender that would work if you ordered the little piece that goes on the bottom. Even that purse with the broken strap sitting on the floor of your closet.  Even the pile of mis-matched socks. Need a dump truck to get it all out?  Okay, start in your own personal space.  I know, the idea of "personal space" is almost foreign to mom's, but think about your bedroom, your bathroom, your night stand, your closet.

I have admitted before, I do have some pack-rat-ish tendencies. But -- I also have stated that I am trying to get better this year and clear out some of the clutter around me. I feel so weighed down and suffocated sometimes.  When we switched around the kids' rooms, forcing me to empty out my craft closet and move it all downstairs, it became more apparent to me how much stuff I've got crammed away. I'm working on it, it's quite a project.

For now - I'm giving myself a little bit more elbow room by getting rid of the stuff that even I can't justify keeping.  I think I'll start with the coffee pot that leaks every time I make a pot of coffee.

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Mom-Me Celebration - Day 6: Eat Dessert!

Yesterday was Day 5 of the Mom-Me Celebration - Laugh, on purpose!  (I read the comics in the newspaper.)

We're on Day 6 of the Mom-Me Celebration - Eat dessert!

When this challenge first came to mind, I had planned that I would confess my love of chocolate and ice cream.  (Okay, not really a secret if you've read any random previous post or even glanced at the accompanying photo posted on Facebook.)

My idea of dessert - I'll take one of each, please.

But then I checked my mail and decided to switch up my note for the day.

One of my distant cousins (distant as in my great-grandmother and her great-grandmother were cousins, but we do know each other) sent me a note.  Enclosed was a xeroxed recipe for Mincemeat Cookies, dated February 1999; she wrote across the top "Mommy's recipe, Mommy's handwriting." Her mother passed away last month and she thought to share this bit of sweetness from her mother.  And coincidentally, it arrived in my mailbox today, on our Mom-Me Celebration "Eat dessert" day.

Now, I'll admit - though I've heard of mincemeat, I have never known what it was or why someone would want it baked in a pie, and certainly not why it would be in a cookie. As far as I'm concerned, cookies should contain chocolate or nuts, preferably both. I had to google 'mincemeat', which turns out to be a mixture of dried fruit, which may or may not have some portion of meat in it.  I'm going to assume that she would've used the non-meat version for these cookies. I don't know where to buy mincemeat, but if I figure it out, I'd like to try it, if for no other reason than pure curiosity. It looks like a good, spicy cookie - there's even rum in it! For another reason, because I love the connection to family through recipes.

As a further extension to the permission to eat dessert today, I also encourage you to enjoy a family favorite. Is it a cookie, a cake, a pie? Is it from a restaurant or grandmom's secret recipe? Isn't it fun when you show up for a family dinner and you know exactly what will be on the dessert table? For our family gatherings, we're having red velvet cake, banana pudding, and if we're really lucky, watergate salad (the kind with marshmallows and pistachio pudding), with ridiculously sweet tea to wash it all down with. And the funniest thing - not only does no one share their recipe, no one asks; we're content to let the assigned person fix their dessert forever.

Enjoy the sweetness!

Follow along here on my blog or on Facebook - JustPiddlin with Frances for our 30-Day Mom-Me Celebration all the way until Mother's Day.

Mom-Me Celebration - Day 4: Get Moving for 30 Minutes

We all know exercise is good for our overall health. And unless you have been living under a slice of chocolate cake lately, you are well aware of the "30 minutes a day" recommendation. The American Heart Association says its good for your heart.  US News Health reports that it's good for your reducing stress, handling depression, and lifting your mood. WebMd explains it's benefits for weight-loss and prevention of various diseases and conditions, such as high blood pressure and high cholesterol.

But knowing and doing are two different things. We're tired, we're busy, we don't know what to do, we don't feel like it. Our knees hurt, our backs ache, we get out of breath. Everyone has their own excuse. So today, is the push to get over all those excuses.

Your Mom-Me Celebration activity today is to Move for 30 minutes. Because, mom - you've got to be healthy, for yourself and for your family.

I hated tennis in high school gym, but it's now one of my favorite activities - if only for the cute outfits.

What to do?  The first thought when you think exercse is running and weightlifting, but there's many more options. Here's a few:

• Dance - zuumba, jazz-ercise, step aerobics, formal dance classes
• Play a sport - softball, basketball, tennis, football
• Swim - laps, aqua-aerobics, water zuumba
• Walk - it's free and you can do it anywhere
• Return to your childhood favorites - ice skate, roller skate, bike ride

When to fit it in? That's every busy person's question. But we have more time than we think if we consider all those dead time pockets in our day.

• Waiting for kids at practice/lessons/activities - go for a walk or run instead of sitting
• While checking emails and FB - I'm working on doing these things while on the treadmill. The key is to keep up whatever is your "normal" level on the treadmill while doing so, not crawling at 1 mile an hour.
• Before everyone wakes up (if you are a morning person)
• After everyone goes to bed (if you're a late-night person)
• While walking the dog - go for a run with the pooch, even if for a few minutes
• Schedule it in to your day, like any other appointment - put it on your calendar

My "Pack Your Bags" post on exercising has more ideas on what to carry in your gym bag and exercises you can do without being in a gym (like jump-roping).

How do I stick to it? Figure out what motivates you has been my key. It sounds simple, but that's what it comes down to - what is going to make you keep at it?

• Enjoy it - Find something you like, or at least can pretend to like for 30 minutes. Nothing will put a stop to an exercise routine like doing something you hate.
• Commitment - pay for a class, agree to meet a friend, join a team
• Join a gym - find one that fits your needs. Mine has a pool, various classes and lessons, experts to answer questions, kids' activities, childcare, even a masseuse - very few excuses left.
• Set a goal - determine how much weight you want to lose by a certain date, establish a target number you want to hit: miles, laps, baskets, serves, situps.  I've set a number of miles I want to run each month - 26 - a marathon.

Are you scratching your head, thinking "I thought this Mom-Me Celebration thing was supposed to be fun and all about me?" Yes, it is. To be the best mom and to be the best you, you need to be healthy and happy.  Now, go move.

What is your favorite exercise or moving activity?

Mom-Me Celebration: Day 3 - Let Someone Else Cook

Are you the primary cooker/food preparer/food gatherer in your home? If you're the mom, I'd venture to say you are. 21 times a week, you have the responsibility to make sure the other people in your home are well fed and watered, whether at your home dining table, in the school cafeteria, or in their office break-room. Don't you deserve a break for one of those meals? 1:20 is not too much to ask.

I love cooking, but I also appreciate the break from not cooking. This morning, we went out for brunch (with mimosa's!) When it's an option, I go for the omelet station - I like omelets, even more so when someone else makes them and all I have to do is wait for it to be placed on my plate in all its egg-y and chees-y goodness.

Omelet station with all the fixin's (mine had lobster, mozzarella, and artichokes)

Every now and then, I let/ask/make my kids cook dinner.  It usually ends up to be spaghetti and meat sauce with a salad, because that's about their culinary skill level right now. Having the kids cook isn't necessarily to make them into the next Emeril, but to teach them how to provide for themselves and others, and to better appreciate the work that goes into considering everyone's food preferences and preparing a meal. And for mom, a well-deserved meal cooked by other hands.

Do your kids cook? If so, what is their specialty?

Mom-Me Celebration: Day 2 - Be Beautiful

Highlight your beauty - buy yourself a new lipstick, a fun new eyeshadow, a dramatic mascara. You know how we run to the grocery store and think "oh, I hope I don't see anyone I know." We always see somebody, so be ready. Get a new make-up and make yourself feel good!  (And throw out some of that old stuff - you're not supposed to keep  it all too long anyway.)

 

I'm on a mission to figure out how to wear eyeshadow like an adult. And emerald green (one of my favorite colors) is the color for spring so I picked up an eyeliner and eyeshadow in shades of green. One of my friends (with 3 active kids) always has perfect, beautiful eye make-up - even when she's just running errands. She's the one who can guide me around the Mac counter via phone, she doesn't even have to be standing there. She'll fool you by saying "let me just throw something on" and meet you looking glamourous, but never looks overdone. She's proof that you can always take a few moments to be beautiful. 

 

 

My new make-up: green eyeshadow, green eyeliner, and a shade of red lipstick

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